“What are your plans?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“Yeah, right. Nancy, you are always doing something.”
She’s right, but for once I think I am going to watch one of those series everyone says you should binge. Travis and I tend to binge together, as we miss so much during filming, but this season, we didn’t do that for obvious reasons. Everyone keeps telling me I need to watch You. Although, I wanted to watch it with Travis. And that is how pathetic I am. I can’t move on even with binging a series.
When I don’t say anything, Syd picks up on my worries. “Nancy, are you okay? Really?”
I sigh. “I kind of think I might have done that over the last four years.”
“No, you haven’t. You became a household name and people love you. Adore you. You would not have that deal with Target without Flipping Texas, no matter how much you deserved it. You know how that goes.”
“Thank you.”
Then there is a beat of silence, and that is always a sign of trouble with Syd. That world class mind of hers is working on what to say next—which is odd. She usually just blurts things out and deals with the consequences later.
“Spit it out, Syd.”
She sighs. “I want to ask about where you are on your decision, if there is even a chance you would return to the show. I don’t want to pressure you though.”
“I don’t know. That’s the god’s honest truth.”
“I understand.”
“But it’s better than it was twenty-four hours ago. I was ready to burn it to the ground.”
“Okay, that’s good, but as your friend, I want you to take as long as you want. We won’t start looking for a replacement for at least a month.”
Replacement. That one word has a lump rising in my throat. I never thought it would come to this. For the last two seasons, Travis has gotten worse, and I would threaten to leave, but it wasn’t until this season that I knew I would. It still hurts my heart thinking about it, but I should have seen it coming.
Two and a half Years Ago
I’m holding a hammer, trying to remind myself that hitting Travis in his stupid, beautiful face with it would probably land me in prison. My fingers twitch on the wooden handle. What happened to the sweet guy I coaxed through our first season?
Fucking fame.
“Now, Nancy, here, she knows how to pick out a pretty pillow, but then I handle all the other stuff.”
All the other stuff.
We’re standing in front of a group of people at a home improvement fair in Seattle. It’s one of those things we do in the off season to promote our show. We are now the most successful show in the At Home history, and Travis has let it go to his head. He has spent the last fifteen minutes making derogatory statements about me. They aren’t outright misogynistic, but there is enough in there that tells me he’s speaking to the He-Man Woman Hater’s club in the audience.
I count down from ten and remind myself that this isn’t the real Travis. It’s the asshole that comes out to play for the camera at times and always when we do these shows. Well, the asshole part of his personality popped up about midway through our second season.
We finish up our appearance—the last one for this venue—and head out to catch our plane. Finally, we will be back in Texas. I was excited to travel to the northwest, but we’ve been gone for a little over a week. I’ve missed my home state more than I thought I would before we started on this tour. I need a break, my pretty house, and Syd. We both need to let loose. Her reason is she’s about to start working for Grady Hawthorne, the son of the man who hired her. She can’t stand him, but she loves her job so she’s staying on. Me, well, I won’t tell her this, but it’s because my heart is bleeding.
I have always thought Travis was a sweet boy. I mean, when we were younger, and he trailed behind us in our adventures. Then he grew into this amazing man, one who understood that women in the business got a raw deal, and Jesus, he’s pretty. Those deep brown eyes, all that blond hair…and he just grew a beard for the first time in my memory. It makes him look like a very sexy lumberjack. And somewhere along the way, I stopped thinking of him as my cohost and best friend’s younger brother. Now I think of him as Travis, hot piece of man meat who knows just how to handle his tools.
I roll my eyes and am thankful I have my mirrored sunglasses on. If Travis could see, he’d have to make a comment that would make me hate him and despise myself more. How can I be infatuated with a man who acts like he does? Is this just a phase? I hope so because I can’t see myself staying on the show if he keeps up his current behavior.
“You’re really quiet.”
He says it like he has no idea why I’m pissed. And I am, but I am more heartsick than anything else. We started this venture as friends, coming together to conquer the world of reality home improvement. Now, all of it is tainted.
“I kind of don’t like having a man pretend that I’m not the one with the architectural degree.”
I don’t look at him, but I feel his glance. He’s driving us to SEATAC. I almost wish we were flying back separately. That’s the way this entire season has been going. He has turned a corner and now only sees me as his sidekick. Like the whole show wasn’t my idea, or I didn’t baby him through our entire first season.
“You know how people think.”
Yeah, I do. But not Travis. He has always respected me…until now. My attraction to him should die out, but it doesn’t. Not even with the way he’s been acting with the location hoes he seems to acquire at each shoot.
When did I fall under his spell? I think it was that first season when we were in it together. He would look at me every now and then, heat in his eyes, like he was feeling the need for me pulling at him, a carbon copy of my need for him. But it dissolved soon after we aired our first season. He would treat me like he always did, his sister’s BFF, and cohost. And then the indiscretions started. He had never been like that before, but now, he acted like if he didn’t have a woman hanging on his every word, he was failing in some way. And I am sick of it.
Syd says I need to go let off some steam, and I have to agree with her. Maybe a quick trip to New Orleans or Vegas. Just girls.
“Nancy,” he says, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts.
I turn to look at him. “What?”
“I asked if you had any off season plans yet.”
“No.”
And that’s all I say. I will not ask him on my trip, if I take one. I need a break from him because I don’t think I can take him breaking my heart again.
Present day
“Nancy, are you listening to me?”
I blink and realize I zoned out again.
“Yeah, sorry, my coffee just brewed.”
I rise from my seat and grab my favorite mug. After filling the coffee to the brim, I doctor it just like I like it, then I sip at it.
“I told you we’re coming up there, right?”
“Yeah.” Only about fifteen times.
“Well, I’m sorry.”
I frown. “I can come down there.”
“Naw, we’re coming. We’re just going to have a tag along.”