“So for the rest of my life you’re going to hang out?”
Oh, if I thought she would go for it, I would tie myself to her in any way possible. Through the show, because of the stalker, proposing marriage…
The thought should scare me. I’ve never really kissed her—other than a kiss on the cheek. Marriage is something that I think about, but because I have been in love with her for so long, I just don’t get beyond just the preliminaries. I’m so tied up in her that I can’t see forever with anyone else.
She sighs. “Fine. But…let’s not make that big of a deal out of it.”
Of course, that’s what she says, and I want to argue with her. Next to Syd, she is the most important person in the world to me. I’m not sure she understands that.
“Great, and I think we need to pick up some food.”
“I have food.”
She shakes her head.
“Let’s swing by the office and grab my stuff, then go shopping instead of waiting here for the detail. Does that work for you?”
She nods.
“Nancy.”
She looks at me, her blue eyes troubled. I want to chase away those shadows. People see her on the show and think she’s happy all the time. And she can be happy a lot of the time, but there are always those storm clouds from her past. Her inability to connect with her family is the main issue, and there is no fixing it. I know that. There will be no one checking up on her while she’s in town. That’s why she has Syd and me. We’re her family.
“No matter what, nothing bad will happen to you. I promise.”
“Thanks. Ah, let me go brush my teeth, then we can head out to for the food and grab your things.”
She hurries off and I watch her, my brain trying to remind my body to get itself under control. My phone buzzes in my hand and I look down at it.
Evil Sis: Now maybe you won’t take her for granted.
Me: WTF does that mean?
Evil Sis: You got close to losing her to a competitor, but this is different.
Evil Sis: Tell me, if something happened to Nancy, how would you feel?
How would I feel? Like my life was over. It would be worse than losing my hands, which are how I make my livelihood. I could probably come up with a way to do what I do without my hands but living without Nancy…that leaves me sick to my stomach and unable to breathe. It’s like I ran a marathon after eating five cheeseburgers while chugging milkshakes.
I blink. Fuck. Yeah, as I said, I am in love with her, but until this moment, I didn’t realize what it actually meant. Not really. The idea that something could happen to her has my heart all but stopping.
“Ready?” I glance up at her. She’s actually smiling at me. Like one of her genuine smiles. She hadn’t thrown one of those in my direction in a very long time. It reaches her eyes and, fuck, it makes her even prettier. And in that one moment, I realize why my sister asked the question.
She knows I love Nancy. Why did she say it to me now? Did she just realize it?
I think back to our conversations—in person and over text. Syd has made a few comments here and there, but she’s never said it that plainly. That tells me my sister is more than a little worried about both Nancy and me. I held myself back trying to protect our friendship. Then I blew that up this season. Really, I knew we were having problems before we started filming but my fear of being exposed ruined what little goodwill we had left.
“Travis?”
I shake my head, pushing those thoughts aside. “Let’s roll.”
We need to get my things and food.
It’s Wednesday night and there isn’t much traffic. The air is still sultry, humid. There’s an electric charge in the air, and I don’t know if it is between the two of us or the oncoming storm. Could be both. It’s one of those kinds of nights that can go to crap in a blink of an eye. Violent storms are normal this time of year, so I want to go as fast as I can and get us back to the house safe and sound.
I unlock the door to the office and wait for her to walk in before stepping over the threshold. I love this space. It’s big, but not overly so. It’ll make a good base of operations. Or it would have. The idea that we might not ever open it leaves my stomach a little unsettled. What if I can’t convince her to come back? Everything the two of us have worked for will evaporate and, worse, it’s all my fault. I disrespected her. Is it any surprise that she walked out after dealing with me?
Nope, can’t think that way. I need to do my best to stay positive, and I have to prove to her that we can work together again. But first, keeping her safe and figuring out just what the hell is going on is more important at the moment.
“Wow, you’ve made a lot of progress.”
“When was the last time you were here?”
“Hmm, three months ago. I meant to come by before we went up to Amarillo, but you know how things go.”
Yeah. I do.
“Well, the bathroom is completely done. Once I got all the plumbing in place, I decided to get that out of the way.”
“Good for you since you got stuck staying here.”
I say nothing to the comment. She’s not paying that much attention to me as she walks through the area. It’s all sheetrock and bare space in the office area. The bathroom is another matter.
When she designed this space, Nancy went more utilitarian than what she usually does on the show. Still, there are touches of her in there. White subway tile, seamless shower, dark blue walls. It’s a bit dramatic for a normal office, but then we’ve never been normal.
She doesn’t say anything as I stand behind her.
“What do you think?”
She doesn’t say anything right away, and I start to worry I screwed something up. She clears her throat.
“It’s really nice, Travis. Turned out just like I envisioned. Actually better.” Her voice is hoarse when she speaks, leaving me kind of confused. I’ve never heard that tone before, really. In all the years, she’s never sounded emotional like that. Oh, she does emotional—mainly anger and happiness and everything in between. This is different. If I didn’t know better, I would say Nancy sounds a bit melancholy.
“Why don’t you get your stuff so we can hit the market before it closes.”
She still hasn’t turned around, but she steps further into the bathroom, running her hand over the vanity.
“Sure thing,” I say. As I gather up my things, I notice that she’s taking pics of the space with her phone. She’s the one who does a lot of our social media work, although Syd says that’s going to change before next season. If there is a next season.
Fuck. Okay, I need to stop thinking that way. I need to stay positive. First things first: Keep Nancy safe and figure out who the hell targeted her. Then, I can deal with winning her back.
She steps out into the office area again, smiling, as if she didn’t get all emotional over the bathroom. I’m a man who’s especially close to his sister and has a female cohost who I count as my best friend—until I fucked it up.
“Ready?” she asks. And for a long moment I continue to stare at her, unable to respond. Time stretches out and she frowns at me. “Travis?”
I shake myself. “Sorry. Long day. Let’s get going.”