Miriam and Quinn nod. Sadly, I agree with them. When he first showed up, I had hoped he wanted to build a relationship with Josiah. But the evidence clearly suggests otherwise.
“And Amara, sweetie,” Quinn jumps in. “You have to realize that Justin is going to be a dick regardless of whether you’re single or dating or doing whatever the hell you want.”
Helena continues, “Do you want your ex to have any kind of influence on your current decisions? I mean, he’s your ex for a reason.”
“This isn’t about Justin,” I counter. “It’s about making sure Josiah and I are okay.”
It’s Quinn who responds this time, “But besides Justin, weren’t these last couple weeks better than okay? It seems to me you need to consider a couple things. First, do you want to make the choices for your life from fear or from faith?”
That’s a big question. It rings through me with the purity of a bell, knocking loose some of my resistance. Faith has gotten me this far. Do I want to change my behavior now and let fear take the wheel? Somehow, I don’t think so.
“Second, if you haven’t already, I think you need to have a conversation with Josiah and find out how he feels about Patrick.”
Stunned into silence, I realize she’s right. Josiah and I are a team, and while I’m definitely the parent, my choices affect his life too. He should at least get a chance to tell me what he thinks.
Miriam adds softly, “You can always find another job. But finding a man who loves and supports you is special. If Patrick is that guy, he might be worth the risk.”
“That said, we’re here for you no matter what.” Helena raises her glass for a toast. That’s the thing I love about these ladies. They’re just the right amount of wise, supportive, and fun. “To friendship.”
“To friendship,” we echo before taking a sip of our drinks.
Later that night, after I finish reading Josiah his bedtime story, I pose my question. “Hey J-baby, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Mom.” He blinks at me from where he’s tucked under my arm. I’m propped against the wall with a pillow at my back. We’re in our regular storytime position.
“What do you think about Patrick?” I ask. I want to start out general and get his first impression.
“Do you mean Mr. Pat?”
“Yes, Mr. Pat.”
“I like him.” He nods his little head. “He likes superheroes, just like me. Plus, he talks to me like I’m a grown-up.”
Now, to carefully dig a little deeper. “What would you think if I dated Mr. Pat?”
“You mean, he’d be my daddy?”
“Not yet, J-baby.” I can’t hold in my giggle. “Right now, he’d just be spending more time with us.”
Josiah chews his lip, thinking a bit. I give him time to form his thoughts. After a minute, he nods again. “I’m okay with it. As long as he shares his superhero toys.”
A smile takes over my face. You’ve got to love how kids’ minds work.
“I’ll make sure he shares.” He’s so sweet and genuine. I love him so much it’s hard not to pepper his face with kisses. I restrain myself to one on each cheek, then tuck him into bed.
“Goodnight, J-baby.”
“Goodnight, Mom.”
◆◆◆
The next afternoon, I’m coming back from lunch. As I push the elevator button for the fifth floor, Patrick rushes in beside me.
“I was hoping to catch you when you got in.” He smiles at me disarmingly.
“Um.” I don’t know what to say. Instead, I stare into his dark eyes as waves of warmth and appreciation flow through me. Seeing him again after a couple days apart feels really good.
“Before we go up there, I need to do this.” He pushes the “stop” button on the elevator and it screeches to a halt.
“Wh-what are you doing?” I stutter.
“Just taking a minute for myself before everyone else gets you.” His lips come down on mine, purposeful and powerful. Even though the last time we saw each other, I ended things, my body didn’t seem to get the memo. Pleasure burns through my resistance. With his hands holding me tight, I melt into him.
As he pulls back, a whimper of longing escapes me. He chuckles knowingly. “Don’t worry, babe. Everything is going to be just fine.”
He pushes a button and the elevator starts moving again. Moments later, the door opens on the fifth floor. At first, nothing seems different. It isn’t until we head down the hall that I notice his office door is open already.
With his hand on my lower back, he guides me forward. As we enter his office, I notice half a dozen strangers in the room.
“Ms. Amara Sage, please meet the board of directors for Tech for Teens. Distinguished board members, let me introduce you to your new Executive Director, Ms. Amara Sage.”
At his announcement, my head whips around to look at him, my mouth parted in shock. Executive Director is his title, not mine. Holy shit. He promoted me.
“From now on,” Patrick continues, “You answer directly to the board. I’ll still be available for consulting, obviously. But the board would like someone who can give their full attention to the job. I’ve explained how well you’ve been doing since you started. Therefore, with my full recommendation, this morning they voted you in as Executive Director. Congratulations.”
I’m practically frozen in a stupor. It isn’t until the first board member steps forward to introduce herself that I shake myself out of it and take her hand. For the next hour, I meet and chat with all the board members. We talk about their vision for the program, what they’d like to see from me, and how they’d like to contribute.
Occasionally, I see Patrick watching me with a smile on his face. Each time, I offer him a shy smile back. I can’t believe he did this for me. As the implications slowly sink in, my heart beats double-time.
Now that he’s stepped down as Executive Director, I don’t technically work for him anymore. I won’t pretend he won’t have any influence on the board, but he isn’t my boss. As of now, we can explore a relationship without affecting my job. My career and my potential love life are now in their own lanes.
The board members are busy people, so they can’t stay long. I express my gratitude to each and every one of them. When the last one gets on the elevator, I sag against the wall with shock and relief.
Patrick walks over to stand in front of me, resting his hands on my shoulders and lightly massaging the tension away.
“You did this.” My accusation comes out softer than I expected, possibly because at the moment, I feel like putty in his hands.
“I did it for us.” One of his fingers lifts my chin so he can see into my eyes. “I love you, Amara. I want the best for you and Josiah. I want to be a part of your life. I’ll do anything to make that happen.”
“You’re shameless,” I whisper softly. A small smile lights his face. It grows as I continue, “I love you too.”
“Good, because I’m not going anywhere.” He wraps his other hand around the back of my neck, the one keeping my face tilted toward him. He claims my mouth possessively with his own, growling as I immediately open to him.