His jaw ticks. “Just so it’s clear. Who are we talking about here?”
I watch his face. Either he has the best poker face in the world, or he really isn’t planning on killing them. He says he’s going to fight for me, but we’re going to fight for him too. “Brawler.”
“I know that one,” he says, jaw clenching.
“Oscar,” I tell him, ignoring his response.
“Fucking Bat?”
Jesus. Oscar never gets any love. Johnny just mirrored Brawler’s reaction. I know he’s a smart mouth, but he’s so fucking good underneath it all.
“And—”
“There’s another?”
I take his arm, pulling him until his back is on the bed and I’m straddling him. “I’m being open with you, babe,” I say, letting his nickname for me slip out. It works this way, too. He is my babe. He’s my gorgeous Crew leader. My torn bad boy with a heart underneath it all. “My feelings grew for everybody at the same time. I’ve never felt like this before,” I tell him, letting my soul ooze out between us. With this information, he could make me bleed. He could ruin me. He could turn my life into a total rotting mess, but I’m trusting him with everything. “Jacob,” I breathe, using Mag’s real name and letting my last secret in regard to this finally slip out.
A low rumble starts in Johnny’s chest. “Now I don’t feel bad for punching that fucker earlier.”
I still. “You punched him?”
“I thought he left you alone so you could run away.”
I lean over him, making him look at me. “He let me up here. Magnum cares for you, Johnny.”
“Yeah, cares for me enough to take my girl from me.”
I pin his hands above his head and loom over him. “No one is trying to take anything from you, Johnny. We all want to work together. We all want to be together.”
“And everyone knew but me?” I prepare for an explosion, but a smirk crosses his face instead. “They’re all terrified I’ll kill their asses, aren’t they?”
“They are, and I’m trusting you not to do that.”
“No promises.”
He tries to shirk me off, but I press my body against his. “Johnny,” I warn. I know he could get me off him if he wanted, but he probably wants to have this conversation as much as I do. “It’s not about liking them better than you or you better than them. Or any of you better than the other.”
“So, you want us to…share you?” His brow rises like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
I nod, words getting stuck in my throat.
“I don’t share,” he says, “but I will fight my damndest for you. You can tell them to relax. Killing them would be too easy, and besides, I’d lose you in the process. I’ll win you though,” Johnny says, the sound a dark promise. “At the end of this, you’ll want me and only me. I’ll show you I’m enough.”
“You’re already enough,” I tell him. “This has nothing to do with something you’re lacking. I told you the other day that I thought I was falling in love with you. I’m fucking in love with you, Johnny. There’s no falling. I’m already there.”
A shimmer of pain flashes in his eyes, and I recognize the hurt there. He thinks he’s completely fucked this up for himself. “I should never have fucked that random girl. I should never have hurt you, and I’ll be paying for that shit my whole life. Don’t give up on me,” Johnny pleads, his hands flexing against my hold. “I’m not my father. If I can promise you anything, I can promise you that.”
I let him free his hands and wrap his arms around my body, pulling me toward him. We lie there in an embrace. All in all, considering what could have happened, the only thing that would have made this better was if he agreed to share from the beginning.
That’s not Johnny Rocket though. He’s a fighter through and through, and a part of him still thinks I’m his and only his no matter what.
And I’m fine with that. As long as I can be the others’ too.
25
I wake in Johnny’s arms and settle into his warmth at my back. Maybe it’s a shit thing to do to feel hope in the midst of all this, but I do. It surges inside me like a gallop of faith. No, it’s not like Johnny told me he was committing to all of us. He only promised me...well, him, basically.
I wrap his arms around me tighter. What he must have gone through when I was at Greenlawn. He must have buried himself in a massive pit of blame. I don’t know how to get it through his head that there’s nothing he could have done to stop me from falling for the other guys, too. It’s as if this was supposed to happen.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand. Jacob appears on the screen, and I watch as a text scrolls across. REMEMBER: PT APPT.
Damn, this guy. I shake my head and smile.
I slip out from Johnny’s grasp and tiptoe to the bathroom. I text Mag back that I’m in Johnny’s suite still, then I take a shower and ready myself for the day. I wrap a towel around my chest as I do my hair, then send a quick text to Magnum, asking him to bring me some clothes to wear. Considering I’m not supposed to be sleeping in Johnny’s apartment per his father’s orders, all of my clothes were moved to my place when I was moved out. I bite my lip. I’m not only not supposed to be sleeping here, I’m not supposed to be fucking him either.
A few minutes after I’ve dried my hair as best I can and run my hands through it, a soft knock sounds on the door. I hold the towel around me as I run out to the main room to let Magnum in.
“Hey,” he says whispering. He holds out an outfit to me, and I smile when it’s black leggings coupled with a black shirt. We’re totally going to match today. “I didn’t know what you wanted.”
“This is perfect,” I tell him, stepping back so he can come inside.
He inspects me, gaze lingering on the towel for a little longer than the rest of me. Then, he asks, “How did last night go?”
“Well...” I say, drawing it out. He steps in, and I close the door behind him.
I don’t get the chance to tell him what happened though.
“I ought to kick your fucking ass, Cotton.”
I freeze, and Mag’s gaze darts over my head. The hostility hitting my back is potent. Mag moves me out of the way. Like, physically takes my shoulders and shuffles me to the side, giving me a warning look to stay out of this.
Mag stares at his friend. “I’m sorry,” he says, and there’s a real apology in his voice.
“You’re sorry?” Johnny seethes. “You know I fucking love this girl. You know it.” He finally gets to Mag and shoves him against the door.
“Johnny...” I start.
Mag gives me a withering look that makes me stand straighter. “Just go get dressed. We’ll handle this.”
Johnny’s gaze drops to the clothes I’m holding in my hand and my towel-dressed state. If he could get any madder, he does. His cheeks flame, and the look he sends Mag’s way would make me shrivel.
All of these guys have balls of steel though. They respect each other, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to bow down to one another either.