I keep staring at the lowlife, willing him to look at me, but right now, he’s preening under K’s words. I’m going to chop his dick off. I’m going to beat him until he’s just as bloody as Johnny and then more, until he’s choking on his own life force. I only wish I’d kicked his ass earlier in the ring. Knocked his teeth out. Broken his trachea. That would teach him to talk. To betray his friend.
I glance down at Johnny who’s looking at Jiko with sad eyes. One of Johnny’s only friends. Everyone in his life hurts him.
“What’s the punishment?” Johnny asks, sounding bored. I worry for his mental state right now. Will this push him over the edge? Will it do what K wants it to do? Follow in his footsteps to the depths of hell no matter the circumstances?
K licks his lips, gleaming at me. “To teach Kyla that she’s the property of the Crew, not yours and definitely not her own...and to teach you that you can’t deceive me and get away with it, I’ve come to the perfect punishment. To prove Kyla isn’t yours, you’re going to watch Jiko fuck her.”
I gasp. I try not to, but the intake of breath happens before I can steady myself. When he said he was going to treat me like the whore I am, he wasn’t kidding.
My stomach rolls again, and my knees tremble. Magnum’s hands on me keep me steady on my feet, but they don’t make me feel safe anymore. Can I even feel safe here, this close to my sworn enemy? I was stupid to think I ever could.
“You want him to rape me?” I ask, incredulous determination pouring from me. Because fuck that. I will start chopping dicks if that’s what it comes to.
“Trust me,” Jiko says, a glint to his eye. He licks his lips. “It won’t be rape because you’ll be begging for it.”
“You make me sick.”
Jiko turns a twinkling eye to K. “I like them feisty. I think this is going to be fun.”
“Fuck you,” I seethe.
“Watch your mouth, slut,” K growls. “As far as I can tell, Jiko is the most loyal man in the room. Loyalty goes a long way.”
“He won’t touch you,” Mag whispers. “I promise he will not fucking touch you.”
How can he promise such a thing? If I don’t do this, K will probably just murder me right fucking here. If I don’t play their game, he’ll put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. He doesn’t give a fuck. There’s no reasoning out of this. There’s no playing on his good side because he’s the devil. He doesn’t have a good side. The space where his heart should be is cold, dark, and vacant.
“I think you’ll have fun,” K says, smirking at me. “I might even have to try that cunt out myself one of these days.”
Revulsion slithers through me. If it comes to that, I’d rather him put a bullet in me. There’s no way on this Earth I’m getting raped by my parents’ murderer.
He leers at me as he stands. “She certainly looks like she’s good and tight.” He trails his gaze over me, and I stand frozen in place. I’m too scared to move. Too scared to think, even. I don’t want anything I do to provoke him.
“I’ll need proof, Jiko,” K says as he walks from the room. “Preferably of the photographic kind.” He moves into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of deep, brown liquid. “One with some tits will do.” He winks at his new buddy. “I’ll give you guys the room. I won’t be back until late, so don’t think you have to stop at one, Cardinale. Make her yours. Over and over and over.”
Big Daddy K moves forward, throwing the alcoholic contents in his glass on Johnny who grunts, baring his teeth as the burning alcohol seeps into his cuts.
Fucking asshole.
“Magnum,” K says as he immediately looks away from his son. “I expect you to make sure this happens. If she fights, hold her down. I don’t think my son will give you any trouble, but if he does, call me.”
“Yes, Sir,” Magnum says.
I want to vomit. If I vomit, maybe Jiko won’t fucking touch me. Maybe I’ll gross him out so bad he’d rather fuck the chair.
K waltzes toward the door. With each step, my heart beats louder and louder. By the time the door opens, the buzz in my ears is so pronounced I’m reeling from it. Magnum’s whispering to me, I think, but it just all collides in my head like a tornado with no possibility of dying out.
The door closes, leaving us trapped in here. I kneel on instinct, pulling out the knife Magnum gave me and brandishing it in front of me. “You messed with the wrong fucking people.” And then I lunge at Jiko Cardinale.
29
Fury and rage blind me. My training along with a hefty dose of self-preservation kicks in because before I know it, I have Jiko in a chokehold, the blade of the knife at his throat.
I can see myself doing it. How much pressure would it take? Just a little? A lot? I’ve never slit someone’s throat before, but there’s a first time for everything.
I’m shaking. I want so badly to pull the blade across his taut skin, and I don’t even care what kind of person that makes me. He betrayed us. He betrayed Johnny. And his laughter at raping me sickens me to my very core. Someone that cruel doesn’t deserve to live.
He grabs my arms, yanking at my hold. “Wait,” he chokes out. “Please, wait.”
Mag takes a tentative step toward me, catching my attention. I lift my gaze to meet his. As usual, his look is impenetrable. Does he want me to do this? Does he want me to stop?
“I can explain!” Jiko rushes out.
I close my eyes. They still burn with unshed tears as if I could let loose at any moment. If I kill him, K will just think of some other punishment. Maybe with someone else. Maybe with him.
“Please!” Jiko pleads.
I release my hold on him, then stomp kick him in the ass. He sprawls out on all fours, choking and spluttering. Mag takes his gun out of his waistband and holds it on the traitor.
Johnny moans, and I run to him, quickly untying the good old-fashioned rope K used as restraints. Deep burn marks mar his wrists. He must have fought like hell to get away. To do something.
Johnny tugs me over weakly, but I come willingly. “Are you okay?” His good eye darts around my face.
“Am I okay?” I bite my lip because I am seriously close to losing it. “Are you okay?”
“I’m only okay if you’re okay.”
My lip wobbles, and I hate how weak I feel at this moment. Adrenaline courses through me, and I know that logically that’s making my reactions heightened. Everything is ten times as bad or ten times as good. Right now, everything is ten times as shitty.
“I’m sorry,” Johnny whispers, so only I can hear, then he gets up on unstable legs, leaning onto me for support. “You better speak now before Magnum puts a bullet in your brain,” he commands, turning right back into the gang higher-up he is.
Jiko sits back on his haunches. He runs his hands down his face. “I had to, J. I’m so fucking sorry. Your dad has shit on my dad, and I had to find a way to make that go away.”
“By stabbing him in the back?”
Jiko doesn’t even look at me. He just stares right back at his friend, begging and pleading him with his eyes to understand. “You know I would never touch her,” Jiko said. “I had to say that to get him out of here and to make it seem as if it was going to be awful for you guys.”