“No,” Declan says. “I’m just doing what I’m told, Mama.”
“That’s good. Now listen to me. We need to watch her father. Closely. I need to know how he’s taking it. What he’s doing. I need to know everything about him. It’s going to be a delicate balance here.”
“Her mother?” Declan asks.
“So far her nose is clean,” Mama Dae says. “But, you know, money buys some damn good makeup to cover up the shit…”
Declan laughs. “Got it. I’ve already given my opinion on the parents.”
“Meaning what?”
“You know, that I’ll check them out.”
“Why would you do that?” Mama Dae yells.
“If I don’t, someone else will,” Declan says. “Who knows how locked up tight her father is, right? One little slip…”
“Okay,” Mama Dae says. “I don’t like it. But I understand it. You ask the simple questions. You look sad. You act pissed. You can’t believe you have to ask parents such questions.”
“I’ll play it perfectly,” Declan says. “Trust me, I’m good at lying.”
“That you are,” Mama Dae says. “Now, listen, here, take something to eat. I’ll make you something to go. Don’t argue with me over it.”
“I never would,” Declan says. “Your cooking is everything.”
“Don’t fucking forget it either,” Mama Dae says.
I stand up and walk back to my bedroom.
I miss Mac.
My heart feels heavy.
I sit down on the bed and grab for the burner cell.
I flip it open and stare at the screen.
If I call Violet… just to tell her I’m okay… but make her swear she won’t say a word…
I shake my head.
I can’t do that yet.
Not until more of this plays out.
I put the phone down and I crawl back into bed.
The light is on in the bathroom and I don’t mind it.
I can use a little light.
I know when I shut my eyes I’m going to go back to that nightmare.
Which is so stupid.
There’s no reason to have that nightmare.
Mama Dae feeds me more than I’m used to eating. I’m actually nervous about gaining weight. But you can’t tell her no when it comes to food.
She’s not afraid to tell me stuff either.
She has a clear line of what I can and cannot know.
Nobody can hurt me here.
Nobody can find me.
I try to bite my fingernails but that doesn’t work.
I shut my eyes and roll to the other side of the bed.
I try breathing.
I try counting sheep.
My last resort is to find substance.
I can find something to drink.
Or maybe I can find a pill or something else.
“No,” I whisper.
I can’t go down that road.
So that means I’m wide awake.
Wide awake and waiting…
I keep my breathing calm.
That’s most important.
I do shut my eyes at some point but I don’t actually sleep.
I’m half awake.
I’m alert enough to hear the bedroom door open.
My heart instantly begins to pound.
I want to shake but I tell myself not to.
I have to stay calm.
There’s noise in the bedroom.
Noise in the bathroom.
Noise back in the bedroom.
Then the bed moves a little.
I swallow hard.
I hand touches my shoulder and I’m pulled to my back.
I look up.
“You’re here,” I whisper.
“Of course I am, sweetie,” Mac says.
He smiles and then kisses me.
I wake in the morning and stare at Mac for a few seconds.
I don’t even breathe.
I just stare at him.
Just to capture the moment between us. The only sense of calm that ever seems to happen anymore.
Of course, if you’re in my shoes, this feels like a lifetime already. In reality, it’s not that long at all. And, again, I’m completely safe.
I’m fine.
This is just my part in Mac’s wild life.
What started out as me learning a few things here and there turned into me helping with the business with that black bag on the beach and it now turned into me faking my own kidnapping.
All to get to the truth.
I’m not totally sure what that truth is, but at the end of the day (or night) at least I know Mac will slide his arms around me, hug me, love me, hold me, kiss me… and plenty more.
I inch forward and kiss his chest.
He still smells like last night.
Crime has its own smell. It’s a mixture of boldness with a touch of fear. It’s intoxicating and addicting to be around.
Mac starts to stir and when he opens his eyes, he moves right for me.
His lips crash to mine.
Hard.
His kisses are fast and he moves his body on top of mine.
My hands grab at the muscles of his back.
He moves himself so he’s between my legs.
A second later, I feel a warm pressure… yeah, that kind of pressure…
I break the kiss and put my head back. My nails scratch at his skin as he takes me in the morning.
My toes curl against the sheets as I pull my body toward him, wanting everything.
Mac gives me everything.
His mouth kisses from my neck to my chest with speed.
His tongues swirls and flirts from one breast to the other.
The lower half of his body moves with more speed by the second.
My hands slide from his back to the bed.
I grip the covers and lower my head just as Mac begins to kiss back up my body.
His mouth meets mine again and I let go of the covers and grab for his messy, greasy hair.
I kiss him as hard as he kisses me.
I groan into his mouth. He grunts into mine.
I’m not sure there’s a better way to start a morning.
If there is, let me know.
Because I’m good with this.
We kiss until Mac moves down to my neck. His tongue flirts with my skin.
My body suddenly reaches its breaking point.
It catches me off guard that I gasp and run out of air and can’t find anymore.
I’m now hugging Mac again, pulling myself tight against him.
He slides a hand to the middle of my back and holds me as my hips jerk forcefully.
I keep my eyes open as I finish.
The room dances and spins with the thrusts from his strong body.
When I finally find the ability to breathe again, I let out a gasping moan.
It’s loud enough that Mac reaches up and puts a hand over my mouth.
He then looks at me.
My cheeks are burning hot.
He slides his hand away and we both smile.
My body won’t stop moving.
Wanting more…
Mac uses the pointer finger of his right hand and traces along my lips.
I kiss his finger.
He thrusts harder than ever and I gasp again.
Mac puts both hands to my back and holds me.
He buries his face into my chest again and doesn’t stop until he’s done.
Which means I get to finish again… with him…
There’s a moment when time feels frozen.
It’s like jumping off a cliff. And you’re sailing through the air. Waiting to hit the water below. Thinking a million thoughts. And then you hit the water and it’s just silence.