Aiden and I walk hand in hand down the busy streets of Brazil where the locals have set up booths along the cobblestone streets. I stumble over a smooth, protruding rock at the same moment as a girl bumps into me. Aiden peers at us critically from where the girl and I lay in a heap on the ground, our legs tangled.
She apologizes profusely as I shake my head, laughing at our equal clumsiness.
“It’s totally fine!”
Thankful she speaks English because I don’t speak a lick of Portuguese.
Aiden relaxes and laughs.
As the couple walks away, I hear her boyfriend laugh as he guides her through the crowded pathway. “Scar, be careful!” He jokes, helping to adjust her dress.
I spot a yellow dress at one of the colorful booths. It looks to be handstitched, made with talented hands. Aiden follows my admiring gaze and asks the woman at the counter for one in my size. I want to argue about spending more money on me.
He looks at the dress and whispers, “That would look fucking amazing on you.” His fingers graze my bare shoulders.
Even in the hot Brazilian sun, chills wreck my body.
We head to a zipline park after. My terror grows as we rise above the tall trees of the Amazon Rainforest. I had been confident, but while standing at the edge as a man buckled me into a harness tight, I got nervous.
Aiden stepped up possessively and double-checked his work. When Howard came around and checked it a third time, I rolled my eyes.
“Guys! I’m not going to fly out,” I joke.
Aiden crosses his arms in warning before smiling when the man releases the rope.
I scream as I race down and over the treetops, going way too fast. I manage to calm myself after a few minutes to enjoy the view. The lush forest beneath me, and the sounds of animals. The skyline dominated everything. It was unreal.
I grin as Ashley lands on the platform after me. Her normally perfect hair is a tangled mess, which I braided for her while waiting for the guys. Aiden and Ricky are full of adrenaline after the zip line. I don’t blame them. It was exhilarating but I’m exhausted and hungry after a long day of fun, Ash too.
It was an amazing thing to see Aiden, who is normally high strung, relax and enjoy himself.
We lay under the stars on the outdoor bed back at the beach house after dinner. A perfect breeze rolls over us. Aiden’s sharp features are illuminated by the brazilin moon.
My heart pounds inside my chest. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I know I told Ian I loved him, but I had no fucking idea what I was talking about. I didn’t understand the gravity of the words then, but now I do.
I’ve wanted to tell him this entire trip, but I kept chickening out. I know all too well how short life is, what if something happens to one of us? I’ll regret every day not telling him how I felt.
How can I live with myself if he doesn’t know?
I take a deep breath, hoping to steal some of the confidence he always has.
Aiden
∞∞∞
I lift Emma’s chin, knowing she has something to say.
She takes a quick anxious breath and whispers, “I love you.”
I pretend I didn’t hear her over the raging storm. We’re protected under the patio as we lay on the outdoor bed. The rain creates a dramatic moment as I run my fingers through her soft hair.
Fuck.
“Aiden, did you hear me?” She asks quietly.
Her heart pounds against my chest.
Please, Emilia. Please don’t say it again. I silently plead with my eyes.
She takes a long deep breath. “I love you, Aiden Scott.” Her eyes hold her words.
I look away from the intensity of her gaze. She sniffles when I don’t respond.
Say something, Aiden. Fucking something. She needs me. She needs me to hold her. But, how can I?
I can feel her holding back her tears beside me. She’s so fragile right now I’m scared she will break if I touch her. Thunder roars and the air is thick. It envelopes and traps me, closing me in.
Lightning burst through the sky, illuminating her broken expression.
I need to get the fuck out of here before I suffocate.
I slide out of the bed and throw my clothes on. Her wide eyes follow my quick movements. I pace between the patio and our room, gathering a few things in a haste.
She sits on the bed, her delicate hands wiping the tears from her face. “I’m sorry, Aiden. I di–”
I cut her off with a single hand, not wanting to embarrass her further. “Emilia, please, just drop it okay?”
Her face contorts, a look of betrayal on her delicate features. “I didn’t ask you to say it back. But don’t ask me to pretend I don’t love you.” Her voice cracks at the end.
It’s like she said it once, and it’s all she can say now. Like the flood gates are open.
Fuck, I’m so fucked up. I shouldn’t be here.
She deserves more than me. She deserves more than a man who doesn’t know what to do when a girl, so innocent and sweet, says I love you to him.
I hastily shake my head, and grab my keys, exiting the beach house from the back, passing her broken face on the way out.
Rain pounds down on me as I climb in the rental car.
I’ve got to get the fuck out of here.
∞∞∞
I hope to find an empty bar. I was wrong.
Too many people fill the space, enjoying their vacations. The open tiki-style bar sits on the sand, with a small elevated deck for the bar stools. A large canopy covers the area, preventing the beating rain from falling on me. The bartender sets down a glass, giving me a knowing look. His accent is thick as he talks while pouring my whiskey.
I breathe in the salty ocean breeze blowing through the bar as I calm myself. I stare into my glass and admire the ice as it melts in the warm air. The rain patters continuously, drawing me into a memory.
I’m standing in the foyer of my grandma’s house, dressed in a pair of Spiderman pajamas. The rain falls in sheets outside as I beg Mom not to leave.
“Please.” My lip quivers. Only eight years old, I’m afraid of storms.
Mom shakes her head, smoothing out her dress and fixes her lipstick in the mirror.
“Where are you going, Mommy?”
She doesn’t answer my question, she ruffles my hair with a smile. “Stay with Grandma, sweetie. I’ll be back in the morning. I’ll make you pancakes!” She promises.
“Just stay,” I beg. I can tell by her outfit and curled hair that she’s going to see Dad. But every time she does, he’s mean to her and makes her cry.
She leans down and plants a big kiss on my cheek. Her hair smells like honey and her red lipstick leaves a stain on my cheek.
“I love you, Aiden.” is the last thing she says to me, before leaving…forever.
I slip the bartender a stack of bills and tell him to keep the drinks coming. I down my glass of whiskey and pull out a cigarette. I fumble for a lighter but a flame in front of my face catches my attention. I lean forward and light my cigarette on the small red-hot flame. My eyes pan to the manicured nails holding the hot pink lighter, trailing further to see a head of red hair, staring at me with glossy eyes.
“Having a bad night?”
I shake my head.
With a cock of her head, she brings her bottom lip between her teeth. “I can help, you know,” She offers, grazing her fingers across the top of her breast. “My name’s Brandi.” She steps between my legs and places her hands on my shirt, her fingers trail across my skin.