I’ve heard the stories of what that crazy old bastard likes to do to his enemies. It's not pretty. I have a feeling that, for Ayida, he would burn down the city. It's not like he has a lot left to live for. Better to keep the princess happy and stay on Old Man's good side. I guess I’ll be learning to hold my tongue better. I still wouldn’t mind using it on her, though. Even if she is bat shit crazy, she is hot as hell. I feel all the blood rush to my dick, just thinking about her beautiful angry face.
“What ya thinking about there, Hold?” Fletch’s mischievous eyes are on my crotch. Damn it. Caught tented in the front seat.
“Just an after-effect hard-on from getting hit. You know I like it rough.” He laughs, but I can tell he doesn’t believe that. Everyone knows I love my kink, but it would take more than a little slap to get me going. I don’t mind being in control, but sometimes it’s nice to let the reins go and let someone else be in charge.
“Sure, man. I get it. She is gorgeous. I doubt Old Man wants her to get messed up with us even if she is learning the business. He probably wants her with a nice guy that can be easily managed. You can look at her and tell she has had one too many assholes telling her what to do.” He isn’t wrong; she has been through some shit. That’s obvious, but I think Clint or Cole, hell, even Fletcher would be good for her. Not me, though. I’m too rough around the edges, and even if I like to be submissive in the bedroom, in real life, I have to be in control. It’s the only way to make sure everything gets done, and everyone stays alive. She’s had enough trauma in her life without me messing her up even more. She sure is beautiful, though.
“Dude, we all know you like her. You have to stop sabotaging yourself. You don’t have to be a jerkoff to everyone. You can have friends and more. She needs friends, and you are a good one to have when your head isn’t stuck up your ass.” I can feel Cole’s hard stare from the backseat. He doesn’t understand how hard it is. He is friendly, and people automatically feel at ease with him. He smiles, and women fall over themselves to be near him. I can’t blame them. He has that sweet, but “bad boy” look. I know what really happens. I let myself get close to someone, they find out what I’ve done… what I do… they see the darkness in me and run like the devil himself is chasing them.
After the years of chasing relationships, I’m finally okay with one-night stands and meaningless meetups. My brothers are the only people I need in my life. They talk a big game, but they haven’t had real relationships in years either. The difference between them and me, I like what I do, and then I feel bad about wanting it. Why am I so fucked in the head? Did my fucked-up parents mess me up, too? I’ve never told anyone how I feel about what I do. The guys have different feelings about the jobs we do. They never volunteer for the dirty work. They don’t mind the white-collar crime. Hell, they like kicking the shit out of any woman-beater that is brought to the Family’s attention, but that is about their limit to violence. My shadows run darker.
Maybe one day I’ll find another fucked up soul. For now, I’m good at keeping my distance and having my fun.
“All in your head again, huh? Let's just get done with today and see what we can get into tonight. “Fletcher will always be a college boy at heart. It's one of the reasons we simultaneously love and loathe him.
“Are we talking about a party or club? Do you think Clint would want to come after today? He might just want to chill at his place.” Cole might have the bad boy look, but he really is just a nerd that likes to stay home and play on his Xbox or master a new hobby. The man is a kick-ass cook after his year-long obsession with all things Bobby Flay. I think he's trying out sculpting now. He succeeds in everything he does. I’m not jealous, I’m proud.
I feel like we push each other, and that makes us better in different ways. We work best as a group. Cole is our nerdy-nice guy, Fletcher is the fun-outgoing guy, Clint is the big brother with an even bigger heart. Then there’s me. The fucked-up sadist and masochist rolled up in one. I’m the lucky one. I have these guys to keep me from spiraling. They help balance me out.
“Let’s see if he wants to have a little get together at his place so we can all unwind.” Fletcher says, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
Let the party begin.
Chapter Nine: Cole
Why the fuck do we have to do anything tonight? Clint probably just wants to be left alone and get his head straight. Sitting at my desk moving numbers around on the screen of my computer, I'm bored as hell and want to go play the new Call of Duty. Holder, sitting across from me with his feet thrown up and eyes closed, is getting on my last damn nerve. How can he be so cool after everything that happened today? That poor girl is messed up and he acted like it was no big deal. "You think Ayida is okay? I hope Clint got her home." I get a grunt in response. I swear to God I'm going to flip his feet over his fucking head…
"Hey. Douchebag. Remember our talk in the car? Pull your head out of your ass. She has been hurt. I know we are used to hurting bad guys, but have you become so numb that it didn't bother you when that girl was so scared, she turned into a feral animal?" He swings his legs down, straightens up with a stretch and a yawn.
"It's none of my business and you need to stay out of it too. I'm not about to get our positions messed up by a pair of long legs. She is just another girl. She'll run away again before long." He gives me a hard look before getting up and leaving my office. I want to throw my keyboard at his retreating head. I don't know what has happened to my friend, my brother, but he wasn't always like this. He used to care.
Ugh… I'll worry about him later. I have other things to concentrate on. I have to get done with these spreadsheets and try to convince Fletcher it's not a good idea to go to Clint's. I would like to go check on Ayida though. I might run by Old Man's after work and make sure we didn't do any lasting damage. I know she saw my shock when she came back from her black out. I don't want her to think we don't like her just because she has demons. We all carry those around. At least I have my friends to help carry mine. She probably doesn't have anyone. I'm sure Clint is making her feel welcome, but I want to help her, too.
I haven't been through anything like Clint has, but I do have my share of trauma. I use flirting as a coping mechanism. I always have girls trying to get me to settle down. So, I flirt a little and then get the hell out of dodge. That way I don't hurt anyone's feelings because I'm not committed. I haven't met the right girl to chill with long term. Flirting is one thing but bringing her home to see my video games and DnD collection is a totally different story. Girls see the tattoos and piercings and think I'm some badass gangster. I can beat the fuck out of someone- no problem. You can't be as big as I am and be a pussy, but I don't like fighting though. I would way rather cook or be on my gaming system.
I'm not like Clint. I can't walk her through her issues with PTSD, but I can be there for support. Better hurry up and get done then.
It's right at four when I finish up and start getting ready to leave work. I hear a knock at the door and Fletcher is pushing in before I can say come in. "You ready? Holder has to work at the warehouse tonight. So, we don't have to wait on him."