The only conclusion I could come to was Walker must’ve regretted his insane impulse to tell me he was falling in love with me. Because I was constantly prepared to tolerate the abrupt ripping away of trust, it made perfect sense.
I was a mix of angry, hurt, and painfully disappointed. Because, dammit, I had gone and fallen in love with him like an idiot. Even worse, I’d let myself have faith in him, and in us.
Although it was hard to keep my mind off Walker and just how stupid I’d been, I did my best to throw myself into making cookies with Rylie. If anyone could keep me sort of distracted, she could.
I reached for my phone again, spinning it around on the counter and tapping the button to see the screen. Still nothing from Walker. A big, fat nothing.
Apparently, he’d decided he didn’t need to explain anything to me after all. “That’s just fine,” I murmured to myself.
“What’s just fine?” Rylie’s voice reached me when she appeared from the end of the hallway. She’d been building a fort in her playroom.
“Oh, nothing, sweet pea. Just talking to myself.”
Rylie wrinkled her nose as she eyed me. “I know. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just got some things on my mind.”
Rylie opened her mouth, and I braced myself for her next question. There was nothing quite like being grilled by a curious seven-year-old.
I was saved by the door opening, and Valentina stepping through. Her arms were laden with grocery bags.
“Let me help you with those.” Hallelujah, something else to do. I hurried around the counter.
Rylie trotted over too, and the three of us carried the groceries into the kitchen.
“You’re a little early,” I commented as we finished putting away the groceries.
Valentina brushed her hair away from her forehead with the back of her wrist and closed the refrigerator. “Oh yeah. It didn’t take as long as Shay thought. She’s not really a fan of crosschecking things on the spreadsheets. I sent her away and took care of it,” Valentina explained with a smile and a shrug. “Lucas is out on a call, so I’m not sure when we can expect him for dinner.” She looked down at Rylie. “Now would be about the time JJ asks you to do your homework. Do you want to go to your room and take care of that while we get dinner ready?”
Rylie’s braid bounced up and down on her shoulder with her nod. With a little wave, she dashed down the hallway.
Valentina smiled at me. “She loves her new desk. Now she doesn’t want to do her homework in the kitchen anymore.”
“She’s a good kid. Anyway—” I began, just as Valentina spoke at the same time.
“Do you want to stay for some coffee and maybe dinner?” she asked.
I almost hugged her in relief. I was that desperate not to have time on my hands. As it was, I wasn’t due at the bar for my shift until eight tonight. The hours between now and then yawned before me. That was plenty of time for recrimination and beating myself up over being an idiot about Walker.
“I’d love that!”
My answer must’ve come across as a bit too enthusiastic because Valentina gave me a quizzical look. I did love hanging out with her and we’d become tight friends, but enthusiasm wasn’t really my style.
“I’ll make coffee,” I volunteered quickly before stepping around her and aiming straight for the coffee maker on the counter. “What are you planning for dinner?”
“I promised Rylie I’d try this new recipe she found. It’s basically homemade macaroni and cheese. Lucas will eat anything, and I’m sure it will be good.”
She started pulling things out of the refrigerator and cabinets while I started coffee. Once I had the coffee going, I slipped my hips onto a stool across from where Valentina was working on the counter. She shooed me away when I offered to help.
“There’s really nothing to this. It’s noodles and this melted cheese sauce.” After a few quiet moments, Valentina asked, “All right, what’s wrong?” She turned on the burner under a pot of water and started shredding cheese.
“What do you mean?” I hedged.
Valentina narrowed her eyes at me and pursed her lips. “I know you well enough to know when you’re in a weird mood, and you’re definitely in a weird mood. If I had to guess, it’s something to do with Walker. Shay mentioned he had some kind of family emergency.”
“She did? Does she know what’s going on?” My second question practically tripped over the first because it came out so fast.
Valentina arched a brow and cocked her head to the side. “Ah, see, I knew I was right. It’s totally something to do with Walker.”
I leaned my head down, tunneling my hands through my hair with a sigh before lifting my face to meet her gaze again. “Fine. You’re right. He left me this cryptic text saying he had to go see Dave and he’d explain. I don’t know what the hell is going on. I haven’t heard from him in two days. I feel like an idiot for falling for him, and I don’t know what to do. I mean, if it mattered, I think I would’ve heard from him by now.”
Valentina bit her lip as she considered me. “Maybe, maybe not. Since you don’t know what’s going on, maybe you should try not to assume it’s bad.”
I let out a heavy sigh just as the coffee maker beeped. Standing, I strode over to fetch two mugs and fill them with coffee. “You know, sometimes you’re too optimistic,” I commented over my shoulder.
Turning, I set Valentina’s mug on the counter beside her before taking a long sip of mine. She glanced sideways as she finished shredding some cheese. “Well, sometimes you’re too pessimistic. Especially about men,” she said with a pointed look.
I considered Valentina’s observation as I stared at the drunken guy standing across the bar from me. “No,” I said flatly. “You’re cut off for the rest of the night. If you keep bugging me about another drink, I’ll be kicking you out of the bar.”
The guy gave me something between a lopsided smile and a glare. “Geez, you’re a bitch for someone so pretty.”
And Valentina wondered why I was pessimistic about men. With a disgusted snort, I turned away, immediately taking another drink order from a young woman who was ordering for a table of ten in the corner.
I still hadn’t heard a thing from Walker, and it had now been three days since I’d seen him. Much as I wanted to take Valentina’s advice to be more optimistic and my oh-so-wishful heart was being needy and noisy, I’d come to the conclusion that his radio silence could only mean one thing. He’d reconsidered his feelings.
I was wondering if I’d seen everything through the wrong lens with him. Maybe he’d been prepping me for the inevitable choice to have one last night and make a clean break of it if I didn’t scrounge up the nerve to tell him I loved him. And now, even more obnoxiously, I was probably going to have to come up with some sort of explanation for Lucas, seeing as he’d asked Walker about us. I was surprised he hadn’t asked yet, but he’d stayed quiet even though he certainly had a few chances. My best guess about that was Valentina had told him to leave me in peace for the time being.
I tried to ignore the piercing ache in my heart. Fortunately, the bar was busy tonight. The brewery, which was on an adjacent property, was hosting a wedding event this weekend. There was spillover from the guests filling the bar tonight. The downside to this particular crowd was it kept reminding me of the very wedding that had started it all for Walker and me.