“I’ll have soup and salad,” she tells the waitress.
“I’ll have a cheeseburger and onion rings.”
Juno’s head snaps up from the menu. “No chicken and dumplings, old man?”
We hand our menus to the waitress. “I’m feeling nostalgic.”
She tilts her head. “Why?”
I shrug. “I have no idea, but I bet you’ll steal a few onion rings.”
“I like my soup and salad, thank you,” she says. “Not to mention I have to fit into my dress for your wedding.”
“Oh yeah, Brigette mentioned that we haven’t gotten your RSVP yet.”
She takes the bin of jams, organizing them so all the same flavors are once again back together. “Oh, sorry. I thought I had.”
“Are you bringing anyone?” I ask the question that’s been burning inside me.
Brigette actually didn’t notice we didn’t get her RSVP. I did—because I want to know if she’s bringing that douchebag Trey from Los Angeles.
She shakes her head. “No.”
“What’s going on with Trey?”
She’s been tight-lipped about him since whatever happened between them last year, but I know something happened. The jokes her sisters make that quickly cut off when they remember I’m in the room are a pretty good indicator. Trey Galger is a record label owner who’s friends with Phoenix’s boyfriend. He flies his private jet into town every now and then. I hate the guy on principle that he’s not what Juno needs in her life.
She gives me that confused look she does every time I ask about him. “Nothing is going on. The baby shower was the first time I’d seen him in, like, six months.”
For some reason, her brushing it off stokes enough anger inside that I blurt out what I’m really feeling. “Juno, I can’t do this anymore.”
Her head rears back. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this awkwardness between us. I get that I conveyed to you that I didn’t like Trey and I know I’m getting married and then the whole kiss thing last weekend, but I told you not to worry about it. We’re best friends. What’s happening to us?”
The waitress comes over and brings us our drinks.
We nod our thanks and Juno waits until she leaves to respond. “I’m just embarrassed.”
“Why? It’s not like we haven’t done things like that before.”
“Colton!” She looks around and leans forward, lowering her voice. “You’re engaged. I’m not the kind of person who does that. I barely know Brigette, but I’m not sure I can face her now.”
“You were drunk and…” I decide it’s better to leave out that she was depressed because she’ll just deny it. “And I told you, I’m not going to tell her.”
“Don’t you see?” She ties the straw wrapper in a knot, pulling both ends to see if it breaks. She’s been doing that since high school. It tears right in the middle of the knot, and she crumples it in her hand.
“Someone’s thinking of you.” I nod toward the now-balled white paper.
“I think I’ve just mastered how to pull the paper, so it breaks in the middle of the knot,” she grumbles.
“No, it’s because I’m always thinking of you.”
She blows out a breath and sips her diet soda. “You can’t say things like that.”
“Why not? I’m your friend.”
“My friend who’s about to become someone’s husband.”
Usually I can figure out Juno, pull out a smile, but this marriage thing has erected a wall between us. Had I known I was going to lose my best friend… I shake my head. I need to remember that Juno refuses to ever cross that line.
“Can I ask you a question?” The good guy in me says not to ask. Don’t be a dick right now. But the asshole part of me says it’s time she realizes exactly what she did to us.
“What?”
The waitress slides our plates onto the table and Juno unwraps her silverware before crumbling her crackers into her soup.
“What did you think would happen when one of us got married? Or found someone serious?”
She drops her spoon into the soup.
“I mean, I tried to cross that line you put between us when we were thirteen many times. And I get it, Juno, you’re scared. And I’ve allowed you to use that excuse because I don’t know what it’s like to lose my parents so young, but at some point, you have to live your life. You don’t want to date me, but then no one else should have me?”
“I never said that. I’m happy for you. I am.” Juno’s jaw clenches. She swallows every time she lies.
“The way you’ve been acting the last six months since I got engaged says you’re not.”
She leans back and puts her hands in her lap. “I’m not used to sharing you. That’s all.”
“Exactly.” I lean forward and my voice rises so loud that two employees at the counter glance over. “So I’ll ask again, what did you think was going to happen when you were so hell-bent that we only ever remain friends?”
She balls up the napkin and throws it on the table. “I wasn’t expecting to feel so left behind, okay? I didn’t think. Is that what you want to hear?”
Now the employees are blatantly staring, as are most of the people in the diner.
She slides out of the booth. “I didn’t think I’d lose you, and I was stupid for thinking that. You have another woman in your life now. I’m second, so if you could please give me a little time to get used to that thought rather than throwing accusations at me, I’d appreciate it. It’s not like you’ve been entirely gracious when I’ve dated in the past either.”
Then she’s out. I have no energy to chase her, so I let her go, but my mind can’t help drifting back to the last time she said she felt left behind.
Seven
Colton
Thirteen years old
My mom’s sniffling echoes in my ear as her hand tightly grips mine. Everyone in Lake Starlight is holding their loved ones closer these days after the deaths of Tim and Beth Bailey. Typical small-town mentality says that something like this doesn’t happen here, but it did.
My family, along with a lot of Lake Starlight, sits across from the Bailey kids and their grandma at the burial plot. Some people chose only to attend the church service.
The woman behind me whispers to her husband that Denver’s missing. I noticed that too, but more because they left the chair between Juno and Rome empty. Whether it was planned or not, I don’t know, but they sat in birth order.
The dark sky over the cemetery feels like a sign that we’re all mourning the deaths of Tim and Beth Bailey. Their snowmobile crashed into a tree, and neither of them survived their injuries after being rushed to the hospital.
My mom hasn’t stopped crying since we got the news. Still, she and Mrs. Kelly set up a dinner delivery service to the Bailey house to make sure the kids don’t starve. Although their grandma isn’t old, she’s not young enough to care for the seven of nine children who still live at home. Which is what has everyone asking… who will raise the Bailey kids and run Bailey Timber?