I pick up the hem of my dress and rush down the stairs to the painting room. As my fist connects with the door, I realize maybe Colton doesn’t love me like I love him anymore.
Eighteen
Colton
Another knock sounds on the door and I swing it open, hoping it’s someone telling me it’s time. The longer I sit in here, the more doubts seep in. My mom’s impromptu visit—where she talked about Juno and how she always envisioned me marrying her—didn’t help. What kind of mom does that to her son when he’s minutes away from getting married?
My parents have only met Brigette three times. I usually show up by myself, lying about Brigette’s whereabouts. If they were to add up all the excuses I tell them, I’d probably find out she delivers more puppies and kitties than Dr. Murphy and I combined.
I open the door to find Juno standing there. She’s gorgeous with her hair pulled up high on her head and her makeup all done. My gaze falls to the contours of her neck and the swell of her breasts peeking out from the top of her dress, but it’s her necklace that I fixate on.
I take the small jagged half heart in my hand. “You wore this?”
She stares down between us. “I felt like I needed the reminder.”
I drop the half of a best friends necklace and dig in my pocket, pulling out the other half. Juno insisted we get these when they were the hot thing. I told her I’d never wear it, which I never do, but as I put on my cufflinks this morning, I saw the half heart in my drawer, slightly tarnished from being stored away for so long, and I felt like I needed the reminder too.
That we’re best friends forever, regardless of this decision I made so hastily.
“Are those donuts?” She spots the tray behind me.
Selene left an entire pastry dish and juice selection for me. Since I’ve been stuck in this room with paint fumes for so long, I’ve eaten more than I should. Juno doesn’t wait for me to answer though—she heads to the tray and picks up a glazed donut.
“Juno?” I ask because here we are again like she has something to tell me. “What’s going on?”
She holds the donut at her side and our eyes lock. “I have something to tell you.” She pushes the rest of the donut into her mouth and wipes her hands with a napkin.
“What’s the matter?” I ask.
She gulps down some apple juice and stares at me for a long time. “You’re so important to me. The most important person in my life. I love my family, I do, but you, Colton… there’s nothing you don’t know about me. You do way too much for me, you know that, right?”
I shrug. I like to do things for her. “You do things for me too.”
“Eh,” she says.
I chuckle. If we weighed them on a scale, I probably do more, but I don’t keep track, and neither should she.
A tear slips from her eye. “I’m sorry.”
I step forward, my hand cradling her cheek and my thumb brushing the tear away. I haven’t seen her look at me like this since… actually never. “Whoa, why are you crying?”
“Because I pushed you away all these years. Maybe the timing just wasn’t right for us or maybe I was too scared. But I think I’ve been stupid…”
“What? Did something happen?”
“I love you, Colton.” Her eyes close, another two tears slipping down her cheeks.
“I love you too. Today is emotional. Are you getting your period?” I pull her in for a hug, but she shoves me in the chest.
“I am not getting my period.”
“Sorry.” I’m not sure why she’s so upset. I’ve bought her tampons in the past. It’s a regular conversation when she’s crabby.
“I’m telling you I love you.”
I nod. “I know.”
“No, Colton. I looovvve you.” Her eyes go wide, and her head leans forward. “I’m in love with you.”
Shock hits me like a Mack truck and I stand speechless in front of her.
I can barely hold her gaze. She cannot be telling me what I’ve wanted to hear for years on the day of my wedding. “What do you mean?”
She throws her arms in the air. “Like I want to kiss you, I love you. I want forever with you.”
I step back from her, letting my hands fall from her face. “So you’re attracted to me?”
Our attraction is clear. We’ve crossed that line a couple times, the last time being over two years ago. Then she hid me in her room when her family ambushed her apartment because Denver showed up and thought he’d lost Cleo forever. Her hiding me was a glaring red light that Juno wasn’t ready yet. So after the family left, I sneaked out and told her it was a mistake before she had a chance.
“I mean, yeah, I’m attracted to you, but it’s more than that.”
“I’m about to get married,” I say softly. Half of me is overjoyed that she’s admitting her feelings. The other half is angry that it took me marrying someone else for her to realize them.
“I know.” She presses her palms into her eyes. “I’m sorry. But I was talking to Stella and she convinced me that I should be upfront with you. It all sounded so good, but now that I just told you and you’re not overjoyed, hugging me and confessing your own feelings, I’m thinking this was a very, very bad idea. I should go.” She slides between an easel and me.
“Juno, stop.” I turn on my heels, and she’s facing the door. “The marriage isn’t real.”
She slowly circles to face me, and she tilts her head, waiting for more to come out of my mouth.
“Brigette’s student visa is expiring and she wants to stay in the United States.”
Her mouth drops open and she’s quiet for a second. “You don’t love her?”
I shake my head. “I wanted to tell you. So bad. Especially that night of the baby shower when you kissed me. But we couldn’t risk it. If anyone finds out, I could be arrested.”
“Oh my God,” she says.
“Say something more,” I urge.
She sits on one of Selene’s stools. “That’s not like you. Why would you agree to this?”
It’s a fair question and it deserves an honest answer. I’m half surprised she didn’t throw a tray of paints at me for lying to her this entire time. “I agreed to it after you told me you slept with Trey.”
She’s uncharacteristically quiet as she spins on the stool, staring at the floor. “You agreed to marry someone because I slept with Trey?”
She stands and walks to the other end of the room, staring out the window. Jack and Frannie are talking with Liam and Savannah. Frannie’s head is buried in the stroller in front of Savannah.
“Yes.”
“Do you know how stupid that is?”
“Do you know how stupid I felt when you told me? I thought what happened after that one night when we were drunk, that maybe…”
She whips around, startled by my sharp tongue. “No. I suppose I don’t but—I—”
Years of built-up aggression finally tumbles out like an avalanche gaining speed. This is never how I saw this moment happening. “I’ve loved you my entire life. Do you know what that’s like? To pine away for someone day after day, year after year, someone who keeps insisting that we can only be friends because she couldn’t stand to lose me? Let me tell you—it’s heartbreaking. And tiring. And the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done, okay? And now on my wedding day, suddenly Stella says something and you open your eyes and see what’s been here all along?” Her eyes don’t stray from mine as the anger pours out of me. “Well, I’m sorry, it’s too late. I’m getting married, Juno. I made a commitment. Not like it matters. If I canceled this wedding, you’d probably run away tomorrow. Let’s just admit that this is what it is—you’re jealous and scared to lose me.”