I look at him. “What?”
“Stop dodging the topic. Why won’t you move in with me?”
“What about Kingston?” Kingston actually told me a few nights ago, when I stopped home to grab some clothes, he’s thinking about moving closer to Anchorage.
“Fine, Kingston can move in too. We have two extra bedrooms.” He walks over and unwraps his sandwich.
“You mean you have two extra bedrooms.”
He leans over my desk, and right before he takes a bite of his sandwich, he says, “What’s mine is yours.”
“We’re not married,” I say, opening up my sandwich, which smells delicious. Cheese gushes out of the side and I lick my lips in anticipation. We found this place on a whim during one of the first days of spring outings.
“Yet.”
“Colton.” I sigh.
“Juno,” he mimics.
“I’m serious. We just got together. Let’s enjoy this. What if…”
“I hate your what-ifs,” he mumbles and bites his sandwich.
“What?”
He finishes chewing and digs paperwork out of his bag. “Forget it. We have something else to talk about anyway. I did something, and I don’t want you to say no right away. I want you to listen to my argument.”
He tosses some papers on my desk and I read the first line, realizing Savannah and Mrs. Stone aren’t the only ones to figure out I’m a failure.
Loan Agreement
As I scan the document, there’s no mention of Four Paws, but there is a loan amount issued to Colton Stone personally. I inhale, trying not to let anger take over, but you know what they say about redheads—we’re fiery.
Twenty-Seven
Colton
I wasn’t going to present the loan to her in this way, but she pissed me off with her what-ifs. Why the hell can’t she just move in with me? Hell, I’ll take her brother too. Rent-free if he wants. I just want her. But I’m starting to realize I may have gotten her out of her desperation to not see me with someone else, but I don’t truly have her because she doesn’t want to think about our future.
“I’m not accepting this.” She hands the papers back to me.
When I refuse to take my hands off my sandwich, she tosses the loan docs on top of the sandwich wrappers, dousing them with mayonnaise and seasoning.
“Damn it,” I say, picking them up with one hand. “I know you’re not making your bills.”
She finishes chewing her bite and narrows her eyes at me. “It’s none of your business.”
“Yes, it is. You’re my girlfriend and I want to help you.”
“Is that loan big enough for Four Paws too?”
“No.” I lean back in my chair. “I don’t have enough collateral. It’s strictly for you and SparkFinder, but I’m talking to Dr. Murphy next week when he returns from Portland. I’m sure we can figure out an arrangement.”
“How do you know he won’t find someone else?” She crosses her arms. She’s dressed down today in a pair of leggings and a top that covers that ass I love.
“There is no one else.”
“He could find someone. It’s a vet business in a small town with no competition. Call the bank and tell them you want to apply for a business loan, not a personal loan.”
“No.”
“Damn you, Colton.” She smacks her desk with an open palm. “Why?”
“Because you deserve it. Because you love being a matchmaker and I don’t want to see your dream die.”
She looks up. “And it’s okay that your dream dies?”
I shrug. “My dream is just postponed. Not dead.”
She stands and paces in front of her desk. “How did you know?”
“I saw an email and the past-dues when Earl dropped off the mail. The real question is why didn’t you tell me?” It feels like a knife in the heart. Are we going to spend our entire life like this, where she doesn’t tell me what’s bothering her? “I’m supposed to be your confidant.”
She throws her hands in the air. “We’ve been dating a week.”
I throw my arms in the air. “We’ve been best friends since we were six.”
Her eyes narrow. “Cute, Colton.”
“I thought so.” I sit smugly in my chair, my own sandwich untouched now. “Why do you keep everything inside? I don’t understand.”
She walks over to the picture of her Aunt Etta—or should I say shrine, because although it’s only a picture, Juno looks at it as if Etta’s her savior.
“I’m not sure I want to be a matchmaker and because of that…” She turns around and crosses her arms. “I’m closing SparkFinder. I won’t accept your loan. Use it to fulfill your dream.”
“What?” What the hell does she mean she’s closing up shop?
She shakes her head. “My decision is made. I’m going to continue to do the blind speed dating because I have to earn a living.”
“Are you sure?” She nods, walking back over to her desk, but before she can bypass me, I grab her wrist and tug her into my lap. “I love you.”
She nods. “I know you do, but you can’t be my savior.”
“I’m not doing this just because we’re a couple.”
“I know. You would’ve done this just because of our friendship, but at some point, I have to find myself. And truthfully, my mind is a clusterfuck right now.” I hold her tight and she lays her head on my shoulder. “I’ve never really thought of doing anything besides matchmaking. When I was younger, I felt it was my calling after my mom told me about my Aunt Etta. But I never really considered whether this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I just did it. It’s not a surprise that I never thought to improve or change things up to gain more clients because I was just living day by day. I didn’t have any long-term goals for my business. And I’m sorry that it upsets you that I don’t want to move in with you right now.”
“Why don’t you? Do you not see me in your future?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.
She picks up her head and cradles my face. “You’re the one thing I know I want in my future. I’m scared I’m going to mess it up, but I can’t help thinking about the what-ifs. What if as soon as I’m all in, you leave?”
I tilt my head, waiting for her to give me more to go on, but she doesn’t. “Juno, I’d never leave you.”
She presses her finger to my lips. “I’m not saying you’d do it willingly. Things happen.”
I rear back and stare at her. Man, I had it pegged all wrong. She’s not scared that I’m going to leave her—she’s scared to rely on me because I’ll die. Fuck.
I hug her, unable to say anything that might make it better.
Mario changes my loan, and two weeks later, I’m signing papers with Dr. Murphy to be part owner of Four Paws.
There’s no party to celebrate since I’m not making a huge deal about it in case I fail, but Juno’s waiting for me at my house when I get there. I open up the garage door into my kitchen and my bag falls to the floor. She’s sitting on the kitchen table, wearing a silk robe and—if my suspicions are correct—she’s naked underneath.