“I would never do that,” Shelby said heatedly. She blinked slowly, letting her eyes stay shut as she gathered her strength for this confession. “But I want it over. I honestly believe we have enough to get the warrants and wire taps. When we get those, I don’t have to do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” she asked, arching a brow in question.
“Both.”
Viola nodded. “But Rick thinks you still need to be on the inside.”
“Doesn’t matter if Mason doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
“So he’s back to Mason now?” she asked with a smile. When Shelby narrowed her gaze at her, she raised her hands and said, “Sorry. Low blow.”
“You understand my dilemma.”
She cocked her head to the side. “And which one is that? The fact that you two have—for lack of a better phrase—broken up? Or that you’re into a guy who you think is a criminal?”
“Take your pick,” she muttered.
“C’mon, Shelby. You’re doing your job. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Except fall in love with a man I’m lying to, and not telling my boss the extent of my involvement.”
“You’re in love with him?” she screeched.
“Oh God, I need something more than rabbit food if we’re getting into all this.” She waved at the waitress and ordered the onion rings she’d wanted. If Viola had looked horrified at the thought of going without makeup, she now looked ready to arrest Shelby for a capital offense. “It’s a vegetable,” she said in defense.
“Deep fried in fat.”
“Vegetable oil.” Shelby shrugged. Though it didn’t matter if they were cooked in lard, she was going to savor every last one of them.
“You’re in love with him?” Viola asked, shaking her head as if she was still trying to wrap it around the news and forget the artery-hardening snack on the way.
“Please don’t lecture me,” Shelby said, exasperated. “I don’t think I can take it right now. I worked this case as assigned, and now it’s personal. I didn’t plan on that happening, but it did. I know there’s no way this can work. Mason looks guilty as hell, and I will do what’s necessary to bring him in because it is my job. If a judge and jury agree, he’s going to jail. If by some miracle, he’s innocent, I’ve used him to get information, lied to him about who I am. Believe me, I know how bad this is.”
Viola smiled, and Shelby gawked at her. “You find this amusing?”
She bit her lips in a poor attempt to hide her grin. “No. Not that. I’m just wondering… I mean, you like the BDSM stuff, don’t you?”
The tension she expected at the mention of that lifestyle didn’t come. In fact, she had to fight her own smile. “Yeah. Weird, huh?”
Viola shrugged and focused on her salad again. “I don’t know. I’m intrigued by it. Not that it matters now. Dave was disgusted with it. I guess I’ll have to think of another way to rekindle the flame.”
Shelby frowned at her. It hadn’t been the first time Viola had suggested problems in her marriage. She felt like a selfish friend, always blabbing about her own problems and not listening to Viola’s. “If you need to vent about Dave, you know you can talk to me, right?”
Viola waved a dismissive hand. “It’s just a rough patch. Marriage isn’t easy. I had the right idea to spice things up, but the club failed miserably. The whipping had been brutal, girl. If I wanted us to give it a serious go, we probably should’ve gone on a night when we weren’t forced to watch someone we know being hurt like that.”
Shelby didn’t want to push the subject of Dave, so she picked up her fork, but dropped it when she saw the waitress coming with fried heaven.
“I admit it hurt like crazy before Mason got there. But once he was there to distract me, I was able to put the pain aside. I’m not saying I’d want to do it again, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been at first.” She thanked the waitress and nibbled on an onion ring. “Besides, there’s so much more to it than pain. When Master Jedrek bound me, it was very freeing.”
Viola rolled her eyes. “Don’t call that prick Master. I like Mr. Mean better.”
“He is that.” Shelby chuckled. “But I think there are parts I could really get into. I’ve learned BDSM is what you make of it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like how it made me feel. How Mason makes me feel when he tops me.” A wave of sadness came over her.
“Are there parts you don’t like? Besides being beaten, I mean?” Viola asked lightly as if she noticed the sudden change in Shelby and wanted to turn it back around.
She half-smiled and tamped down the sorrow to focus on the conversation, embracing detachment. “The rules seem silly.”
“Figures. A bunch of egotistical men getting off on bossing women around,” she scoffed.
“It’s not like that. Not really. And there are Dommes, too. Submission isn’t sexist. Nor is it limited to heterosexuals. When I was researching it, I found a lot of sites dedicated to gay and lesbian participants.”
“Blah, blah, blah. Give me something good. You said silly rules. I want an example.” She pushed her empty salad bowl away and crossed her arms.
Shelby giggled. “Okay, I’ve got something. When I was at the club, but not with Mason or one of the Master Doms, I was told if another Dom approached me, I had to tell him, ‘My Master awaits.’ It’s code for I’m not available. It’s so any man interested in me would leave me alone.”
“Oh hell no. My Master awaits? How ’bout, ‘Say hello to my little friend,’ and pull your 9mm. I bet that’d make the pricks back off.”
Shelby burst out laughing, but Viola’s cold expression only made her laugh harder.
“I’m serious, girl.”
“I know.” She took a deep breath. “That’s why it’s so funny. God, I needed that.”
“Then my work here is done.” She winked.
The last onion ring was calling her, so she picked it up. “Sure you don’t want one? Last chance,” she taunted.
“Gross. I’ll need to run an extra mile this afternoon just looking at those things.”
She relished the yummy goodness as Viola dug in her purse. When Shelby’s phone rang, she glanced at it half-heartedly until she saw the name.
Mason.
“Oh crap. It’s him.”
Viola needed no other explanation. “Answer it.”
Shelby shook as she accepted the call and put the phone to her ear. “Hello.”
“Wasn’t sure if you’d answer,” he said without anger or even humor. It was almost emotionless. She wasn’t sure how to process his tone.
“Wasn’t sure I was going to,” she said, trying to inflect the same amount of indifference.
“I made you a promise, and I intend to follow through on my end. Couldn’t have you going around calling me a liar.” There was an edge to his voice now, and her nape prickled.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” he said, back to no emotion. “I’ve cleared my schedule this afternoon. Meet me at my house in one hour, so we can finish your lessons.”