She reached for him. “Ben, I’m fine.”
“Let me.” His voice cracked. “I know you hate the dirt.”
Tenzin nodded and allowed him to pull her tunic over her head. He gently pushed down her leggings, and she stepped out of them. Then she climbed in the shower. He tilted her head back and ran the water through her hair.
She felt the warm rivulets coursing down her body, washing away the dirt that had crusted to her. She stared at his bare chest, dusted grey with ash. Black streaks marked his torso. He was wearing only a pair of loose pants, and she could see the erection rising beneath them, but he was solely focused on her.
Ben took a bar of soap and ran it over her shoulders and down her arms. He rubbed soap in his hands and ghosted them over her breasts and her back, sliding his fingers over her skin.
“You’re covered in ashes.”
“I’m not hurt.”
Tenzin put a hand over his heart, and it offered her two rapid beats before it fell silent. “I miss your heartbeat. Have I told you that?”
His voice was barely over a whisper. “No.”
“I do.” She closed her eyes. “I miss your beautiful dark eyes. I miss the way they used to look at me.”
Ben’s amnis, which he’d held so tightly as he bathed her, broke free and rushed over her. He fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist as he fell. He pressed his cheek to her belly and his body shook. She felt everything. His panic, his grief, and his wild, burgeoning rage.
The water was going everywhere, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Come here. Don’t be angry—come here.” She lifted him to his feet and pushed his pants down before she pulled him into the shower.
He kicked the clothes away and climbed in, wrapping his arms around her body again and letting the warm water wash them both.
Ben bathed her as she washed him. The shower was tiny, and they were pressed together, but that didn’t seem to bother him even though his body was far bigger than hers.
He washed her hair and skin meticulously, scrubbing every inch. She washed his chest and rinsed the ashes from his skin.
When they were both clean, he reached for a towel and wrapped her in it.
“Are we safe here?” he asked quietly. “Do you know where they went?”
“Yes, they’re approximately seventy kilometers away. I didn’t find any remnants when I went out to look. We’re alone.”
His voice was barely audible, even to her ears. “I thought you were dead. I didn’t want to believe it—I didn’t think it was possible—but for a few minutes I thought you were gone. And I can’t…” He pressed his lips together. “I don’t have words for what I felt.”
Tenzin sat on the edge of the bed and watched him wrap a towel around his waist. His eyes had aged a hundred years since nightfall. There was an edge of darkness in his amnis that she hadn’t felt before.
“Ben—”
“They tried to kill you.” He looked at the floor. “Who?”
“Vano and his men. They didn’t tell the other Poshani. I’m not sure what they told Radu, but the Poshani caravan was hours gone before they set the trailer on fire.”
“I’m going to kill every one of them.”
“Not tonight.” She reached her hand out. “Come here.”
He hesitated. “You’re right. I’ve been angry with you and with myself. I’m sorry for what I said last night.” He put his hands on his hips, staring at the ground as he avoided her eyes. “I don’t know how to be with you the way I am. I don’t feel like myself. Most nights I wake up and I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“I know who you are,” she said quietly. “I know you said you couldn’t trust me, but—”
His harsh laugh cut her off. “Tenzin, I thought you were dead.”
“I know.”
He finally looked her in the eye, and any hint of humor was gone. “Do you think there’s anything I wouldn’t have done to get you back? Do you think there is a line I wouldn’t have crossed? I know why you did it. Don’t ever explain yourself again.”
One day you will be infinite.
She fell into his amnis, the threads of darkness twisting around his natural warm glow. His scent changed, and she felt the predator in him wake.
Ben walked toward her and lifted her chin with his finger. He bent down and pressed his lips to hers with exquisite care.
Nothing could have seduced her more.
She reached for him, pulling him onto the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding his body to hers. She shoved her towel off and reached for his, but it was already gone.
She pulled his body over hers, reveling in the weight of his muscle and bone, the length of his legs and the hard muscle of his arms. He embraced her, lifting them off the bed so he could slip his arms around her. His hands spread over her skin as he devoured her mouth, cutting his lips on her fangs so the heady taste of his blood flooded her senses.
His hands stroked up and down her back, one caressing the curve of her buttock while the other kneaded the small of her back. Her belly was pressed into his erection, and always there was the spark and seductive whisper of his amnis surrounding her, teasing her skin and stoking the growing storm.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips. “I never stopped loving you, not even when I hated you.”
“I know.” She gripped his hair and pressed her cheek to his, whispering in his ear. “I did not want to know what the world would be like without you.” She turned her head and kissed the arch of his cheekbone. “I did not want to know what I would be like without you.”
He turned to her and caught her lips with his own. This kiss was different again, a long and luxurious mating of blood and teeth and tongues that tasted of the different flavors of who he was and what he was becoming.
Ben was gold and fire, a gathering storm that held her so delicately she thought she might scream.
Tenzin nearly wept with relief when his hand moved from her thigh to between her legs. Her mouth fell open as his fingers slid up and down.
There was no hurry in this coupling, no violent storm of desire and anger and passion like what had swept them away after he woke. This was another new thing, another crystal moment she would hold in her mind.
He was a silent thief, stealing her breath and confusing her senses. There were too many things happening at once. His amnis kissed every part of her skin while his fingers danced her along the edge of an exquisite pleasure. His mouth took hers, over and over again, drinking in her blood while his tongue caressed her fangs.
She reached for him and wrapped her hand around his erection. “I want this.”
“Not yet.”
Tenzin wrapped her legs around his hips and rode his fingers and the hard press of his flesh until she was mindless and lost in nothing but him.
Benjamin’s touch. Benjamin’s scent. Benjamin’s taste.
She couldn’t remember a time she’d felt more present in her body. His blood seeped into her system, mingling his amnis with hers, and still she wanted more.
Just as her body began to convulse with pleasure, Ben took his fingers away, slid inside, and rode her through her orgasm, his fingers playing along her clitoris as he drove deep.