“I… I didn’t know that.”
“You’re here because he very much wanted you to be. People tend to underestimate him and Lucas. They think the two of them are nothing more than silly clowns—and they can definitely be that. But there’s a lot of substance beneath their tomfoolery.”
“I’ve seen that since the fire. He’s been incredible. He hasn’t left my side, except to go to work, since I got here.”
“That sounds like him. He’s true blue, but you don’t need me singing his praises. You’ve seen it with your own eyes.”
“I have.”
“Don’t worry about being emotional around him. He can handle it.”
“I’m not sure that I can.”
Molly laughed. “I bet you’re stronger than you think. In the time we’ve known you, all I’ve seen is a strong, capable, competent, intelligent woman.”
The kind words from someone she greatly respected had her weeping again. “You see? All it takes is someone being nice to me, and I’m a disaster.”
Molly hugged her again. “I promise you’ll get through this strange phase, and you’ll start to get used to feeling all the things again. Maybe it’ll turn out to be a blessing that this happened. It’s not healthy to stuff your feelings into a box for years on end. That’s not sustainable long-term.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
Molly nodded. “I was numb for five years. I met Linc right after I graduated from college, and when I started to feel all the things for him, I had a similar reaction. I finally grieved the boyfriend I’d lost. It was like a delayed reaction. I knew Linc was the one for me when he never blinked an eye at me crying over another man.”
“I’ve cried more about the thing from high school in the last week than I have in all the years since it happened.”
“Because the fire opened the door to all those old emotions. I’m so sorry you’re hurting that way. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“This has helped. More than you know. Thank you for listening and for understanding.”
“I do understand, and I feel for you. Emotional overload after years of numbness is tough to take.”
“It is, and it helps to hear it might be normal, despite how it feels.”
“It’s completely normal.” Molly handed her yet another tissue. “I promise you’re going to survive this, and perhaps be better off once you figure out how to process everything you’re feeling.”
“I’ll have to take your word on that.”
“You have my number if you ever need to talk. I’m always available to you.”
“Thank you so much, Molly. For dinner and for listening.”
“Any time. Hang in there. Like the storm raging outside, the one raging inside you will pass, too, and I promise you’ll be just fine.”
Amanda hugged her. “I hope you’re right.”
“I usually am. Just ask my children.”
Laughing, Amanda said, “How do you stand knowing your sons are out in this awful storm?”
“They’re very well trained, and they love what they do. Besides, all Vermonters are used to bad weather. It doesn’t faze us.”
“You’re made of hardy stock, as my mother would say.”
“We have to be. Reach out if you need anything at all. You’re not alone with the Abbott family in your corner.”
Amanda got up and hobbled to the door to see Molly out. “Thanks again.”
“Take care of yourself, Amanda.”
“I will.”
Amanda waved from the door as Molly drove off, and then she locked up since she had no way to know when Landon might make it home. She decided to retrieve her dinner from the oven and enjoyed every savory bite of the meal Molly had brought. It was so nice of her to do that, and to listen to Amanda’s troubles, too.
Molly had given her a new perspective by telling her there would be sunshine after the rain and that the emotions battering her since the fire were actually healthy despite how dreadful she felt at the moment.
That was the best news she’d had in days.
Chapter Two
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Landon trudged through wind, driving rain and ankle-deep mud that slowed him down. A spotlight attached to his helmet provided limited help in seeing through rain that hadn’t let up in hours. Mother Nature was being a serious bitch this year, with the rainiest May on record extending mud season weeks longer than usual. After this latest downpour, they’d be in for more mud when they should’ve been settling into summer.
His voice had gone hoarse from screaming the names of the three teens who’d gone missing almost four hours ago. They were tourists from southern Connecticut who’d had no idea they’d entered a whole other world in the Vermont mountains. They’d thought it would be fun to leave their hotel for a late-afternoon hike.
During a Nor’easter.
Now Landon, four of his six brothers, their cousins Grayson and Noah, and ten others from the Butler Mountain search-and-rescue service were trying to find them. Good times. In the meantime, the rain fell and accumulated at an alarming rate as the temperature continued to drop. The very real fear of flooding hung over the effort. A few years ago, a spring storm just like this one had caused the creeks to overflow into the town.
No one knew what the kids had been wearing when they left the hotel, but the searchers were operating under the assumption that they were in no way prepared to be out in weather like this for hours.
Landon was connected to the rest of the team by satellite radios that conveyed the coordinates of each searcher. The radios made it possible to split up and cover more ground rather than rely on the buddy system, like they had before satellite technology made it safe to work alone.
He welcomed the time to himself to ponder the confounding situation with his sexy roommate. Having Amanda living in his cabin was wonderful—and torturous. The house was so small that her distinctive sexy scent invaded every corner of the place. He had to move her toothbrush to get to his own, had to step over her pile of folded clothes to get to his closet. She was everywhere he looked, and he liked looking at her—a little too much, if he was being honest.
He’d tried to keep his distance, to give her room to recover and cope with the emotional overload that came from surviving a fire, but it was hard to keep your distance from someone when you were living practically on top of each other.
Not that he’d mind being on top of her.
“Cut it out,” he muttered as he stopped moving to take a breather. The mud was getting so deep, it was becoming harder to get through it, not to mention the cold was seeping through his foul-weather gear into his bones. He reached into his pocket for a protein bar and downed it in three big bites, chasing it with Gatorade.
Amanda was in no condition for him to be thinking of her that way. The poor girl hadn’t stopped crying since the fire, and the last thing she needed was him panting after her. But what did it say about him that he thought she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, even when her face and eyes were red and puffy from crying? What did it say about him that he wanted to wrap his arms around her and make everything that was hurting her better? He didn’t dare do it, but oh, how he wanted to.