“Number five.”
I sigh at his words. Of course, it’s her. Out of the ten women on that floor, it's got to be her.
“For how long?” I ask, trying to sound uninterested
“Almost a week.” A week? A whole fucking week? I remember her face and how swollen it was when I left her. Maybe she can’t eat. Fuck, I should have let the doc check her out. No one is going to buy her if she is dead.
“I’ll take care of it.”
Gabe stares at me for a second longer than I’d like, looking at me like he is waiting for an explanation or something. I don’t owe this guy anything.
“Get the fuck out of my office,” I snarl at him and watch him scurry away, shutting the door behind him. I shove the papers on my desk away from me and open the drawer underneath. I rummage through it until I find the pill bottle I’m looking for.
Demerol is going to numb her up and help her sleep. I wrack my brain on what I’m going to say to her. I’m not sure what I’m going to tell her, but I can’t let her starve herself.
I get up and walk out of my office, making my way down to the cells. When I get to her cell, I stop in front of the one-way mirror and watch her for a few minutes. She is curled up on the mattress in the fetal position.
Most of her body is covered by my shirt, and even though her eyes are closed, she doesn’t look like she is sleeping. Her features are too tense. Her cheek and jaw are still bruised, but her lip has mostly healed. Her face looks skinnier, and I’ll bet anything she’s lost weight. What the fuck am I supposed to do with her?
I shake my head and unlock the cell door. Immediately, she sits up, looking at me with wide eyes, When I step closer, she scoots back on her mattress until her back hits the wall.
“You need to eat,” I tell her, walking until I’m standing right in front of the mattress.
“Why?” Her voice is quiet and raspy, as if she hasn’t been drinking enough water either.
“If you don’t eat, you are going to die.”
“Aren’t I going to die soon anyway?” She looks up at me with those big blue eyes of hers and even with the dark circles underneath, the beauty of them still pours out of her.
“Not necessarily.” I know the chances that she is going to end up dead are high, but I don’t want to think about that, not right now.
“I doubt men buy women like they’re at a meat market just so they can take them out on nice dates. I’d rather starve to death then die at the hands of some sicko.”
I know she is right, and it would probably be a kindness to let her die this way instead of selling her to the highest bidder. Yet, the thought of her dying has my chest aching.
I pull the pill bottle from my pocket and hand it to her. She looks down at it but makes no move to take it. Jesus, this woman is infuriating. Instead of forcing it into her hand like I want to, I throw it onto the mattress beside her and turn around, heading for the door.
“Don’t leave… please,” she begs.
I almost lose it right then. Balling my hands into fists, I grab the tray of food from the door. When I turn back around to look at her, her eyes are watery like she is about to start crying. Fuck me. She looks like a mess, but a beautiful mess, like the sky after a horrible thunderstorm. I close the distance between us and hold the tray in front of her face.
“Take a pill and eat,” I order.
She looks down at the tray, examining the food. “Will you stay if I eat?”
Bargaining. She’s bargaining with me. I consider her offer for a moment, even though I already know what the answer should be. I sit down next to her on the mattress, holding the tray of food on my lap. As soon as I settle, she scoots over to me, so her body is pushed up against mine.
I should push her away… I should get up and walk out of here, but I know I can’t. I feel compelled to see this through to the end, to at least make sure she’s safe for the rest of her stay here. I break off a piece of the sandwich and hand it to her.
Her small hand reaches out to grab it, and her thin fingers brush against mine as she does. Her skin is still cold, and suddenly, I have to fight the urge to pull her onto my lap and throw my arms around her. I want to hold her close, protect her, make certain she’s taken care of. Everything I shouldn’t do for her, I want to.
She starts taking small bites of the already bite-sized piece I’ve handed to her. I watch her chew, and it seems as if even this simple task takes an enormous effort for her. After a few bites, she leans her head against my shoulder and closes her eyes while she eats.
“You need to take one of these. It’s just some pain medicine.” I don’t tell her that this is more like morphine and less like Tylenol.
“I don’t want to take any drugs,” she tells me sleepily.
“It’ll help you feel better.”
“Yeah and make me weaker... easier to be taken advantage of.” Her words spark a fear deep in my belly. She’s right. If she’s sleepy, knocked out on pain meds, then any of the fucking bastards in this place can come in and take advantage of her.
“No one will touch you.” The words vibrate out of me.
“Don’t lie to me, Ivan.”
I straighten up a bit at her use of my name. I didn’t think about it when the guys called me by my name in her presence the other night. And now, I suddenly wish I knew her name.
“I know that far worse is to come for me. The least you can do is be honest with me, if you aren’t going to let me go.”
“No one will touch you or hurt you again. I won’t let them.” I don’t realize how much I mean those words until I say them, and I know deep down that I won’t let anyone hurt her or touch her again. I can’t let her go, no matter how compelled I feel to, but I can protect her at least while she is here.
“What’s going to happen to me?” she asks, and I hand her another small piece of the sandwich. She eats it slowly. I’m not sure I want to tell her what’s going to happen, not when I shouldn’t even be in here to begin with. If any of the men saw me in here, I’d have to come up with some kind of excuse, I have no real reason to be in here. It’s unlike me, and I think the men are already starting to notice a change in my behavior.
“Just eat.” I hand her another small piece, but she doesn't reach for it. I want to offer her more than this dry piece of shit sandwich, but I can’t. Yet another item on the long list of fucking things that I can’t bring myself to do for her.
“I’m done.” She shakes her head slightly.
“You need to eat more than a quarter of a sandwich. You haven’t eaten for nearly a week.”
She sighs while continuing to shake her head. “I can’t... I’m not hungry.” Her body sinks more into mine, like she is too weak to keep holding herself up. She stretches out her legs in front of her and the shirt rides up to above her knees, revealing a little more of her skin. I almost throw the tray across the room when I see some dried blood on the inside of her thighs.
I twist to look at her, and she slides down the wall. I catch her before her head hits the mattress. My hands are on her thin upper arms, pulling her up straight before I can stop myself from doing so. Her eyes fly open, and she looks up at me, shock reflecting in her eyes.