He hasn’t acted this way since the night we had sex, and I don’t know how to handle him when he’s like this. His mood swings give me serious whiplash, and while I want to think he wouldn’t hurt me, his warnings are clear.
“Why not? What would you like to see me as, Sophie? A white knight? Prince charming? I’m a murderer—it’s what I am and what I’ll always be. Learn to deal with it or...” he trails off, as if he’s afraid to finish. Deafening silence hangs between us for a moment.
“Or what, Roman?” I let go of my spoon, and it falls into the bowl with a loud clatter. I watch as he releases his grip on the counter top and runs his fingers through his unruly hair. He’s grappling for control, afraid he’ll say something he can’t take back.
Exhaling deeply, he shakes his head, “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
The doorbell rings, interrupting our argument. Roman pushes from the island, giving me a grim look as he heads to the front door. Once he disappears around the corner, I let out a breath.
I don’t know what to think when he’s like this...what to say. Part of me wants to hug him and tell him he’s going to be okay while another part wants to slap him.
A few moments later, he returns with Ivan, Violet trailing behind him. They walk into the kitchen, smiles on their faces, completely unaware of the fight we just had. Once they see me, both their smiles fade. Ivan’s face turns into a mask of fury. His fist is clenched, and he looks just as scary as Roman does when he gets mad.
“Did you fucking hit her? I told you to stop taking that shit. It fucks with your head. Makes you act out in violence,” he yells at Roman, who has his own mask of fury in place.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Are you seriously accusing me of hitting her?”
Violet’s face turns ghostly pale as she steps in front of me and inspects my face up close.
“What happened?” she asks quietly, sitting down next to me.
“Roman didn’t hit me,” I say loud enough for Ivan to hear as well. “I got hit when Roman took me to his fight. It’s all right, though. It’s nearly healed.”
“You took her to one of your fights? That’s almost as bad. God, what are you thinking?” Ivan keeps complaining, and even though I know Ivan is right, I have this irrational urge to protect Roman, even if it’s just from a verbal assault from his brother.
“Don’t tell me you came all this way to insult me. If so, you can go right out the fucking door you came in,” Roman snaps. I can’t really blame him for being angry. Its apparent Ivan doesn’t think all that highly of his brother.
Ivan takes a deep breath, attempting to calm himself. “No, I didn’t. I came for something very important. Can we all just calm down and take a seat?”
Roman huffs in annoyance, but sits back down in the free chair next to me. Violet takes my hand under the table and squeezes it gently as Ivan takes the seat beside her.
“I have a reason to believe some of the men at the compound have formed an alliance against me. There have been rumors about some of the men being unhappy about the changes, especially about not doing the auctions anymore. Unfortunately, I don't know who exactly it is, and even worse…I think there are some men outside the compound involved as well. Most likely, they’ve established their own business using buyers Rossi used to sell women to. A lot of people are missing out on a lot of money and they are not happy about it.”
“And what am I supposed to do about it?” Roman snarls.
Ivan grits his teeth his dark eyes piercing Roman’s, “You’re supposed to keep an ear to the ground for me. Maybe show up at the compound a few more times. I need someone I can trust Roman, someone who I know will have my back when and if the time comes. None of the men there want me as their leader. They’re pissed, and if something happens to me...”
“Nothing’s going to happen.” Violet speaks, her big blue eyes filled to the brim with love as she stares up at Ivan.
“I know kitten,” Ivan answers with a sad smile. “Nothing will happen because Roman will be there to help me if I need it...right?” He raises a thick brow, waiting for Roman to answer him.
“If anyone’s going to kill you, it will be me, and we both know that.”
Ivan rolls his eyes and chuckles.
“That’s about right.”
“What do you need me to do? I can ask around in the underground, listen to see if anyone’s discussing flesh sales?”
Listening to them talk about it so out in the open makes me sick. It reminds me that there are other people like my parents out there. Willing to do anything, even the most unethical things for money.
“Yeah.” He rubs at his scruffy jaw. “Don’t draw any attention to yourself. Simply keep your ear to the ground, listen for any details, and if you hear something, let me know. Let me deal with it. I don’t want you getting dragged into it.”
Roman nods and crosses his arms over his chest. His muscles bulge and tighten, and my mouth waters. When I see Roman’s eyes clash with mine, I look away, embarrassed to have been discovered ogling, even more so after just arguing with him.
Wanting him is inevitable, but having him, keeping him as mine, it’ll never happen.
Roman’s not the settling down type. He’s not even the kind of man who would have sex with a woman more than once. And even though I don’t know much about dating, from what I do know, that’s not the typical relationship between a man and woman.
“Aside from the fighting, how is everything else going?”
Roman shrugs. “Fine. Sophie is adjusting well.”
“Well, then I guess I can tell you I have a place set up for you,” Ivan looks at me as he speaks this time.
“What place?” I ask, confused. My stomach twists into knots at the thought of leaving Roman. It feels like we just crossed a bridge, like we were getting to know each other. For once, I feel safe, secure, without the need to look over my shoulder every five seconds, but now...now I’m going to have to start all over again.
“You know you were only supposed to stay here temporarily. Until I could find somewhere safe for you. The good news is I found a place. It’s being renovated right now, but it will be done very soon…and don't worry about anything. Everything will be paid for, and I’ll make sure you have enough money to live off for a while.”
I force a smile, only because I feel obligated to. I know Ivan’s only doing this to help me. He’s being extremely nice taking care of me and I should be grateful, and I am. But knowing this doesn't change how I feel about the thought of leaving.
Being away from Roman. Violet smiles at me wildly as if she is genuinely happy for me and I feel incredibly guilty for not being able to appreciate what they’re doing for me. My heart hurts so much, I can’t even stand to look at Roman right now. I wonder what he’s thinking. If he feels the same way I feel. If he wants to see what could happen for us. Or if he’s ready to get rid of me.
Roman jumps up, startling us all.
“I’m going to the gym,” he growls before making a hasty exit. Ivan shakes his head, while Violet looks utterly confused.
“He’ll be in a better mood when he gets back from the gym,” I lie trying to smooth over the situation.