“What are you doing here?” I asked, heart hammering.
“Tracking you down,” he said, sounding irritated as he barged inside without an invitation. He paused for a second look at Tracy. “Sorry to interrupt.”
Tracy glanced back at me. “Who’s this? Should I tell Ace he has competition?”
“Ace…” Jeremy looked confused, but he’d always been quick to add two and two. I didn’t have a hope of glossing over what Tracy had said. Eyes narrowing on me, he said, “Tell me what’s going on.”
Tracy looked uncertain. “Did I step in it?”
“It’s okay,” I said. Tracy had no reason to know I was keeping secrets. “Tracy, this surly guy is my brother. Jeremy, this is a good friend of mine. Maybe you could say hello instead of snarling commands.”
Jeremy looked abashed. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s been a long day. I hate flying.”
“I don’t blame you,” she said. “Where did you come from?”
“Chicago. I’ve got a fellowship up there, and I thought Benji and I could drive home for Thanksgiving…” He trailed off. Cleared his throat. “Sorry for being rude, but … boyfriend?” He turned to me again. “What Tracy said when she opened the door. It’s not … Ace?”
I tried not to be hurt by the disbelief in his voice. I’d had trouble believing it myself at first. Wordlessly, I nodded.
“Ace,” he repeated.
“Yes.”
“My best friend, Ace.”
“I don’t know any other Aces,” I said, annoyed.
“Maybe I should go?” Tracy said.
“No,” I said, grabbing her arm and tugging her toward me. I needed reinforcements. “I promised to help you with a project, and it looks like my brother needs a few minutes to process before he says something stupid.”
Jeremy placed his suitcase by the wall. He had a medium-sized bag on wheels. Very respectable. He barely resembled the frat boy he’d been last spring.
“If I say something stupid, it’s because my brother and my best friend have been lying to me,” he said. He waved a hand. “Tracy knows more than I do.”
“Well, Tracy’s here.”
“Okay,” Tracy said, “I think Tracy should not be here.”
She reached for her poster board, but Jeremy held up a hand. “No, that’s okay. My brother promised to help you. He should do that. I’ll just go … process.”
Turning, he walked right back out the door.
Ace
My phone pinged with a text from Benji.
Mayday, mayday, the brothership has landed!
I stared at the words a minute, but there was really only one conclusion I could draw.
Jeremy’s here?
Yes, and he knows about us. He didn’t seem too happy. He’s gone to process, which probably means—
I stopped reading and hit the call button. Benji answered on the first ring. “Hey, I’m sorry.”
“Tell me what happened?”
“He showed up at my room,” Benji said. “I guess he thought we could drive home for Thanksgiving break together.”
“And you told him? That’s good,” I said, even as my insides quaked. Knowing that I might face my best friend’s fury in the future was different than knowing I might face it within the hour.
“Except he sort of figured it out.”
In the background, I heard a female voice call out, “Sorry!”
“Tracy’s still there, I take it.”
“Yeah, she sort of made a joke about you having some competition and Jeremy figured it out. When he asked, I couldn’t lie.”
“Of course not. That’d only make it worse.”
“I’d hate to see worse.”
I grimaced. That wasn’t sounding optimistic, but I tried not to let Benji hear how worried I was. “Thanks for the heads up. Try not to worry too much. If you don’t want me coming to Thanksgiving now—”
“No! You’re coming.”
I decided not to argue. “We’ll work everything out, okay? I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Five minutes later, Jeremy burst into my room without knocking.
***I sat across the table from my best friend at the Whitehorse Bar and Grill — and never had I felt so uncomfortable in my skin. Tension was thick between us, thicker even than in seventh grade when Christina Parkerson asked out Jeremy, even though I liked her; thicker than the time I was put on the varsity basketball squad while Jeremy got stuck in JV for another year.
Jeremy had shown up at the frat, lobbing one question at me: “Why does my brother think you’re his boyfriend?”
I’d been forewarned, but I was still speechless. Into the silence, he’d added, “I know it must be a mistake, because my best friend, who as far as I knew was fucking straight, would talk to me before he started hooking up with my little brother. He definitely wouldn’t hide it and lie about it—”
Words had finally dislodged.
“I didn’t lie about anything!”
“No, first you dodged my calls,” he said, sounding pissed. “Then you answered the other night, on your”—he made air quotes with his fingers—“date.”
I winced. Yeah, that sounded bad.
“Were you with my brother that night?” he demanded.
“Yes.”
He’d nodded, looking as if I’d just confessed to murder. He was rumpled, tired, and reeling. I did the only thing that made sense.
“How about we go get a beer?”
So, here we were. He’d ordered the meatloaf special, in addition to a beer since he’d had nothing but airline peanuts for hours. I ordered one too because if ever I was going to indulge in a last supper, this was the time.
“I’ve missed the meatloaf sandwich here,” I said.
Jeremy looked at me like I’d said his line. But he didn’t say anything, probably realizing I couldn’t afford to eat here often now that I didn’t have a friend dragging me along and insisting he’d pick up the tab. One thing I liked about Benji was that he didn’t offer to pay my way — not like Jeremy always had, like someone who knew I didn’t have a lot of cash — but he was happy to split expenses or just do things that didn’t cost a lot of money.
Tired of the silence looming between us, I asked, “How was your trip back?”
“Long.”
“You must be tired. Did you just get in tonight?”
“Yeah.” He swiped a hand down his face. “It’s been a long day.”
Jeremy wasn’t happy to learn I’d been dating Benji, but he hadn’t taken a swing or yelled. Instead, he seemed to be biding his time, withholding judgment — or at least the full force of his anger — until we talked. I appreciated that. Jeremy wasn’t an unreasonable guy. When he realized how much I cared about Benji, he wasn’t going to stand in the way.
I hoped.
But if he did… Well, I’d made my choice. Jeremy’s blessing would be welcome, but his approval was not required. My real hesitance about dating Benji had always lain within me. I’d still been figuring out myself, my attraction and feelings for another man. That he was Jeremy’s brother and had grown up tagging along after us only added another layer of confusion to those emotions. But it was never really about Jeremy.