Katie took the empty chair on the other side of Rachel. “Just let me know if she’s bothering you,” she said in a mock whisper. “She might not be able to shut herself up, but I can shut her up.”
“Boo!” Rachel said. “You’re no fun.”
Looking affectionately at her, Kate smiled. Then she noticed my lack of beverage. “So you’re not drinking tonight, either, huh?”
“I won’t be twenty-one until December,” I explained. My underage status had come up more in the last week than it had all of last year, probably because there weren’t many seniors as young as I was.
Katie nodded in understanding. “I’m still interning with the athletic department, and I have to go in early tomorrow. So I’m being responsible.”
“And I am not!” Rachel declared, lifting her drink in a toast. “My student teaching starts Tuesday, so I’m drowning my sorrows in this Bahama Mama.”
Jake and Carson appeared, and Jake placed another drink in front of Rachel. She hopped up so he could sit then plopped herself onto his lap. Carson took the last chair and put a chocolate milkshake in front of me with a flourish of his hand.
“What’s this?” I asked.
He grinned mischievously. “You might not be able to have alcohol, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a special drink.” Looking at the thick beverage in its fancy glass brought back summer memories when Carson, Roman, and I would ride our bikes up to Sonic for milkshakes. Damn him. I was doing my best to convince myself to forget about Carson, but actions like this made it hard.
I took a sip. “Thanks.” The word came out clipped, and I hoped he didn’t notice. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.
“That… is… so… sweet!” Rachel squealed, her mouth dangerously close to Jake’s ear.
He winced.
“Sorry, babe,” she said. “I’m a little drunk.”
“I noticed,” Jake commented, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he looked at her adoringly. Total boyfriend goals.
Rachel leaned on the table. “Carson, isn’t Becca pretty?” She winked at me.
Oh God. I rested my forehead in my hand, suddenly feeling the need to study my milkshake. I’d thought she would let this go. Eying me, Katie’s brow furrowed, like she was thinking she should put a stop to Rachel’s antics but didn’t know how to do it without embarrassing me further. This was one of those I wish the floor would swallow me moments because I was suddenly petrified that I was wearing my feelings on my face. All I needed was for Carson to figure out that I was in love with him in the middle of a crowded bar and with my brother just yards away.
Carson didn’t miss a beat, though. “She’s the prettiest girl in the room.”
“Just in the room?” Rachel prompted.
“Knock it off,” Katie said under her breath.
I felt Carson’s gaze slide over to me, and I couldn’t stop myself from meeting it. “Becca is the prettiest girl in whatever room she’s in. No offense to the present company.”
The compliment would have meant a lot more if I hadn’t just noticed a smear of lipstick on Carson’s collar. Guess I didn’t imagine the perfume smell after all.
Rachel smiled smugly. “None taken.” She mouthed you’re welcome to me, and I smiled meagerly. Though I was annoyed, I wasn’t annoyed with Rachel. Yes, she was being kind of obnoxious, but I got it—she was in love, so she wanted everyone else to be in love.
I had a news flash for her—my love for Carson was never in question. It was him who didn’t see me that way. I’d accepted that a long time ago and made peace with it. But all of a sudden, I wasn’t nearly as okay with it as I thought I was.
***
Carson
ZIZ—SHIT—BECCA was having a terrible time. I would like to say it was because she couldn’t drink like the rest of us, but that wasn’t it. She was used to having a good time without drinking.
“Do you want something to eat?” I asked.
She did a double take, like she hadn’t heard me correctly. “Are you kidding me? I’m still stuffed from dinner, and I also have this milkshake.” She took a long sip of the thick liquid, and I’d never wanted to be a straw so much in my life.
Holy fuck, I’m drunk. That was one of the stupidest thoughts I’d had in a while, which was saying something. A straw? Thank God I wasn’t one of those drunks who couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Looking at you, Rachel.
But the main reason the thought was stupid was because this was Ziz. I shouldn’t want anything to do with her mouth unless she needed resuscitation. In that case, sign me up. Too bad I didn’t actually know CPR.
“Where’s Roman?” she asked.
“Hitting on some girl at the bar.”
She frowned. “Oh.”
Maybe she was bummed because Roman wasn’t hanging out with us. “I can go get him,” I offered. I normally wasn’t into cockblocking my friends, but I would do anything to cheer up Ziz. Something was off with her, and trying to figure it out was driving me crazy. Seeing her sad stabbed my heart.
She shook her head. “He’s been on a ship for nine months. Let him have some fun.”
“He’s been on the water so long, he probably lost his touch.” I grinned and leaned in conspiratorially. “Should I go be his wingman?”
“If you want,” she said lightly, but her tight expression didn’t match her tone. I’d said the wrong thing. Fuck. I’d thought she was getting along well with Rachel, Jake, and Katie, but maybe she didn’t want me to leave her alone with them. She could be shy sometimes.
“Nah,” I said. “He can sink or swim on his own.” I elbowed her. “Get it? You know… because he’s a sailor.”
Ziz was normally a sucker for cheesy jokes, but she barely cracked a smile.
Rachel snagged her hand. “Come with me.”
Ziz didn’t bother asking where they were going. Anytime a drunk girl wanted another girl to go somewhere in a bar, there was a ninety-nine percent chance it was the bathroom.
When Rachel tried to grab Katie’s hand, she evaded. “I want to find Wyatt.”
After the girls left, I turned to Jake. “Does Ziz seem weird to you?”
Jake’s expression was clueless. “I don’t think so, but I don’t know her well enough to say.”
I nodded. Maybe it was all in my head, which was stupid. I didn’t know why I was obsessing. She was fine because she was always fine. That was one of the things I loved about her—she didn’t get caught up in the bullshit drama that some girls were so fond of.
When Rachel returned a few minutes later without her, I straightened. “Where’s Ziz?”
Rachel frowned. “Who? Oh… Becca. Honestly, Carson, you should call her by her name.”
“Ziz is her name.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “You should call her by her first name. She’s not some guy in the locker room.”
I liked Rachel, but at the moment, she was pissing me off. I’d known Ziz half my life. What the hell did Rachel know?
I ground my teeth. “Where is she?”