“What?” He sounded alarmed. “What the hell? Why are you there?”
“I can’t stay away forever.” I appreciated his concern, but he knew that as well as I did. Despite the recent development in our relationship, it wasn’t like I could just move in with him. Besides not wanting to abandon Lucy, that would be moving way too fast. Things were good right now, and I didn’t want to risk doing anything to screw it up. As happy as I was, I felt a little like I was tiptoeing on cracked ice, waiting for the bottom to fall out beneath me.
It was so strange, though, to suddenly be in a relationship with someone I knew almost as well as I knew myself. There would be no cute getting-to-know-one-another phase. We would probably skip straight to the old married couple phase, in which we annoyed the hell out of each another. I was oddly looking forward to it.
“Is Lucy back yet?” Carson asked.
“No, not until Sunday. So don’t worry—I’m still planning to stay overnight at your place.”
“Good.” He sighed. “I wish this game weren’t away.”
Me too. But I wouldn’t tell him that. Life had to go on, and I wasn’t going to give more power to the situation by letting it dictate my actions. With the exception of not staying alone in my apartment, I planned to take reasonable precautions and go about my life as normal.
Except my life was no longer normal because everything with Carson had changed. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours, but nothing would ever be the same. In a good way. Please, God, let it stay good. Butterflies filled my stomach as I remembered how it had felt waking up next to him. I hoped I would never take that for granted.
“You’ll be back Sunday,” I told him. “Focus on the game. Don’t worry about me.”
“I always worry about you. I always did, and I always will.”
“I know.” I wondered if his overprotectiveness toward me had always been more than just him acting like a surrogate big brother. It had probably started that way, but it must have morphed at some point without him realizing it. Or without me realizing it, for that matter. I’d had no idea his feelings for me had been percolating beneath the surface.
A thread of doubt wormed its way through my thoughts. I didn’t doubt that Carson cared for me, but I wished his realization that he wanted to be with me wasn’t a result of jealousy over me going out with Blake. When there was no longer a reason to be jealous, would he still want me? I shook my head, trying to clear the dangerous thought. I didn’t understand why I was doing that to myself. I’d gotten what I had longed for for years, but for some reason, I couldn’t fully relax and enjoy it.
“Shit, we’re at the airport,” he said. “I gotta go.”
“Okay.” I hesitated. “I miss you.” There was so much more I could say, but though my feelings had been strong for years, I didn’t want to move too fast. Carson might need some time to catch up.
“I miss you too. Always.”
Perfect.
CHAPTER 16
Carson
WE WON, BUT it wasn’t a satisfying victory. Boston’s quarterback got injured in the first quarter, and his replacement was so green, he fumbled the ball without any of our players near him. At the end of the day, a win was a win, but I would have preferred to beat them when they were at full strength. But whatever. I played well, which was more important than ever with the draft coming in just a few short months. With every game, the pressure to put in a flawless performance grew. I didn’t like it—it was sucking all the joy out of the game for me. In general, I tried not to take things too seriously and just have fun, but my future was looming, and that was hard to ignore. My record was solid, but memories were short. The next few games could determine my place in the draft.
Jake, Wyatt, and one of our linemen were also feeling the pressure. The four of us were the only players with a real shot of getting picked up by the pros. Strangely, all four of us were seniors. A lot of players entered the draft their junior year, like Freddie had. I didn’t know why the lineman had waited, but Wyatt had wanted to finish his degree, and Jake had gotten sidelined by his parents’ death. I had waited because, while I’d always been a solid player, I hadn’t gotten enough playing time my first two years. I needed more time on the field to show the scouts what I was capable of. Or perhaps I’d just been chickenshit. Anyway, it didn’t matter. I was here, so there was no point wondering.
It was past midnight by the time the bus finally pulled into campus on Saturday night. Games that required air travel were rough, especially since the closest airport was an hour away.
I was in my Jeep, peeling out of the parking lot, before a lot of the guys had managed to shuffle off the bus. I was always eager to get home after an away game but never more so than now. When I got to my townhouse, I frowned at the empty parking spot. Where the hell was Becca’s car? I quickly spotted it in guest parking. I’d told her to take my spot, but of course she hadn’t.
As I walked toward the door, I saw the blinds move as Becca peeked out. Then the front door flung open, and she barreled down the walkway. I dropped my bag as she launched herself at me. I caught her easily, and she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck.
I chuckled. “Did you miss me?” I’d hoped she had. It had been the worst time to be away from her because she was still reeling from the break-in. More than that, though—now that I’d gotten my head out of my ass and realized how I felt about her—I wanted nothing more than to be with her. I’d always wanted to be around her, but it was different now because I finally didn’t have to hold anything back. I’d been such a fucking moron.
Instead of answering with words, Becca pressed her mouth to mine. Hell yeah, she missed me. I gripped her ass and walked through my front door, kicking it closed behind me.
“Wait.” She pulled back. “Your bag is out there.”
“Forget the bag.”
“But—”
“Forget the bag.”
“Even if someone doesn’t take it, it’ll get covered in dew.”
I sighed. She wasn’t going to forget the bag, and I knew her well enough to realize it would be quicker to retrieve the damn thing than to talk her into understanding that I honestly didn’t give a shit.
I deposited her on the couch and strode back out front to get the stupid bag. When I came back inside, she wasn’t where I’d left her. Instead, she was waiting at the door.
Going up on her toes, she wrapped her arms around my neck. “You were awesome. That might have been your best game yet.”
I grinned. “You think so?” It wasn’t, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to discourage her gushing praise. I could totally get used to that. Yeah, I’m shallow.
“I do. I wish it had been a home game so I could have seen it in person.”
“Me too.” But not for the same reason as her. If it had been a home game, then Becca would have been wrapped around me hours ago. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better overall but still tired a lot.”
Damn. “You shouldn’t have waited up. It’s late. Let’s get you to bed.”
The side of her mouth stretched into a half smile, and a wicked gleam filled her eyes. “Yes, please. Except I’m not tired right now. I took a nap earlier.” She unwrapped her arms from my neck, trailing them down my chest as she stepped away.