Morgan wrinkled her nose, turning to kiss Oliver before her glossy eyes were on me again.
“It’s the kind of love Morgan’s parents have, the kind of love we all dream about, the kind of love you do everything you can to hold onto.”
My voice shook a little at that, and I cleared my throat, hating that when I looked up again, my eyes immediately found Tyler’s.
And I couldn’t tear them away.
“I don’t know much about that kind of love myself,” I admitted. “At least, not yet. But I think when you find a love like that, it’s effortless. Everything comes easy, as if loving that person is as natural as breathing, and just as necessary to live.”
Tyler’s eyes were dark and hooded, his fist wrapped around a glass of scotch, but he watched me emotionless. Azra squeezed his arm and leaned into him, casting her gaze up until he returned hers with a gentle, knowing smile that broke my heart into a thousand little shards.
My next exhale shook, echoing in the mic, and I turned my attention back to the couple with tears pricking my eyes. “Oliver, you’ve won the lottery with my girl here, and I know you’ll take care of her and love her the way she deserves. And, Morgan,” I said, smiling at my best friend. “Please, go easy on the guy, will ya?”
Everyone laughed, and I raised my glass of champagne into the air.
“To effortless love and finding that person who completes you,” I said. “And to the new Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Bradford. May your marriage be happy, healthy, and abiding.” I paused. “And may you have lots and lots of adorable babies for me to spoil.”
“And me, too!” Morgan’s mom added to the symphony of laughter.
Then everyone hollered cheers! and the room filled with the clinking of glasses and a soft applause. The wedding planner took the microphone, and Morgan and Oliver took turns wrapping me in warm hugs.
Then, the band picked up their pace, launching into the first song off the playlist Tyler and I had made — and the party began.
I took my first full breath of the evening once my speech was out of the way, finding myself able to relax — even if it was only marginally. Aunt Laura and I hit the bar together, settling on the fruity rum drink named after the newlyweds, and then we were on the dance floor with the bride and groom, giving everyone else the cue to join.
The band was a smash, and for most of the evening there wasn’t a single butt in a chair. Everyone was out dancing — even Morgan’s grandparents and Oliver’s great aunts and uncles. Aunt Laura was becoming fast friends with Oliver’s mom, and when someone grabbed a tree branch off the beach and used it as a limbo stick, all bets were off. Those two challenged each other back and forth and had the entire party rolling in laughter.
There were several surprises throughout the evening, including Robert announcing that his wedding gift to the new couple was a down payment on a house. And as much as that had surprised and thrilled the bride, nothing could have topped when Mackie’s Donut Truck pulled up on the beach next to the reception tent. Morgan’s eyes went wide as silver dollars, and she launched herself at a chuckling Oliver, who spun her around and held her tight.
“I told you I’d figure it out,” he said when he placed her back on the ground.
“My hero.”
They kissed, and my heart surged, and then I rushed to help the wedding planner distribute the donuts to all the guests.
It was easy to keep myself occupied. Whether I was grabbing a drink from the bar, or joining in for a group line dance, checking in with the wedding planner on what needed to happen next, or holding Morgan’s dress in the bathroom — I was busy. And all attention was on the bride and groom, just like it should be.
What was even better was it had been relatively easy to avoid Tyler and Azra. Any time we happened to land in the same spot on the dance floor, I’d shift, joining another group or bailing off the floor altogether. If they were at the bar, I wasn’t. If they were with the bride and groom, I was with the planner or my aunt.
I’d nearly made it.
It was almost midnight, the reception crowd winding down as little by little, the older guests were beginning to excuse themselves.
The bar was less crowded, the dance floor thinning out, too, and the newlyweds watched each other like they were ready to ditch the party and be alone.
I was almost in the clear without a single scar from the night.
But the band announced one last slow song, and though I’d been able to keep myself busy all night when the songs faded into slow melodies, I found myself completely unoccupied this time. There was nothing to do, nothing more to check, nowhere to escape to with the bar closing down and the evening coming to an end.
So, I could blame all of that — my lack of being needed elsewhere — for what I did next, but maybe it was just masochism. Maybe it was just blatant desire for self-torture that had me standing at the edge of the dance floor when Tyler took Azra into the very middle of it, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his chest as they swayed to the band’s soft and sweet version of “When A Man Loves A Woman.”
Azra wore a long, silky yellow dress that blazed off her dark skin in a way that was impossible not to marvel at. She’d caught more than just a few pairs of eyes that evening, and even now, with a dozen other couples dancing around them, they were somehow the center of attention.
At least, they were of mine.
Her tan, slender back was exposed, and Tyler’s large hands splayed in the middle of it, holding her close as they swayed. She leaned into him, holding tightly, a loving smile on her lips that were painted a deep, dark red. She was the center of Tyler’s universe in that moment, with his hands on her like that.
And yet somehow, I could feel his touch, too.
I closed my eyes, and I could feel his hands on my waist, on my hips, his mouth covering mine. I could taste his tongue, smell the faint scent of his cologne mixing with his natural aroma that had always intoxicated me. I rolled my fingers together at my sides, imagining they were in his hair, that his lips were on my neck again, that his body was pressed into mine — seeking, claiming, sieging.
I swallowed back the emotion building at the back of my throat, and then a stiff inhale found me as my eyes shot open.
And Tyler’s gaze was locked on me.
It was inexplainable, what I felt in that moment, with his dark eyes watching me from across the floor. His arms held another woman, but his gaze held me, and every ounce of strength I’d managed to harvest that evening fled away like bits of leaves on the breeze.
I couldn’t stand it anymore.
It was too heartbreaking, too soul aching to put myself through the torture of loving him, knowing I’d never have him, for any longer than I already had.
I felt my bottom lip quiver against the emotion I could barely fend off anymore as I turned away from Tyler, covering my mouth and searching for the newlyweds to bid them goodnight. But after a quick search, I could see they were already gone, and that was all the permission I needed to get the hell out of there.
I fled through what was left of the party, muttering excuse me as I darted between couples and families until I hit the edge of the tent. I stopped long enough to bend down and remove my kitten heels, and I held them in my shaking hand as the other gathered up the skirt of my dress.
It was just a few hundred feet down the beach to the house I was staying in, and the more I walked toward it, the more all the emotion I’d fought back caught up to me. Every cell in my body quivered, eyes blurring, heart squeezing so violently in my chest that I worried it’d break free of my rib cage and leave me altogether.