"It's a fine gesture, but you need your child to represent the future. Not our past. The stretchy part goes in the back. The tabs pull over the front."
I'd never heard Diesel sound so reasonable. It wasn't that he sounded unreasonable all the time; he just didn't sound for more than a few grunts. He had a good point, and not just because I didn't want to name my baby Pierce.
"Jazz, what do you think your baby should be called?" Faust called out.
My head hunched between my shoulders like I'd been caught doing something naughty. I wasn't, though, so I strode forward with my head high. "I agree with Diesel…what are you guys doing?"
I knew what they were doing. Changing the baby's diaper. But they had the kitchen table cleaned off and covered with a sheet, making it resemble an operating table more than a changing table. Ignoring the fact that the table wasn't the best place to change a baby, they had more than one diaper out, several ripped primarily along the tag portions, and enough baby powder sprinkled everywhere to put on a convincing Scarface reenactment.
Which would make the gently wiggling bundle on the table my little friend. He didn't have a lot of hair, but what he did have was coppery. "Why not Angus?"
The others looked from me to the child, clearly testing the name in their heads.
"Yes," Jagger responded first. "I like Angus."
"Hold on. What's your last name?" My face twisted with horror. I was pregnant and attached to a man whose last name I didn't know. How scandalous.
"It's Hart," Knox rumbled with a smirk.
Diesel, Faust, and Huntley all nodded. I wished Dr. Tiff could've stayed a little longer, not for any medical reason, but because I liked her. She was always chipper and had a way of looking at every problem, no matter how big, like it was nothing more than a mystery to be solved. She was the Walker County pack's doctor, though, and they had far more people who depended on her.
"Knox? What do you think?" I leaned my head against his shoulder.
Knox wrapped the baby—I'd have to trust they had the diaper on correctly—and handed him to me. While my baby nestled in my hold, my alpha embraced us both.
"Angus is perfect. It's new, but strong."
"Just like our baby."
I felt something settle, a notch clicking into place as the name was decided. Angus. My little angel baby had a name. "Does he need anything?" I asked.
All the books had said the baby would appreciate a regular schedule, naps at the same time, meals at the same time. But while this was my first experience with a baby and I only knew what I did from the parenting books I'd read, it wasn't Knox's first baby or any of the others.
Their old pack had members from birth to those in their silver years—a fact that never failed to make me tear up. When I thought about how much these men had lost…
"Jazz?" Knox said my name softly.
I shook my head. "I'm fine. Should I make him a bottle…or?"
Knox nodded. "A bottle is a great idea. Do you want to feed him and then go down to the beach? Or go to the beach so he can eat while we figure out your wings?"
Figure out your wings. That sounded faintly ominous, but mostly because of the ambiguity. Maybe my wings were a one-time thing, and when I shifted again, I wouldn't have any.
But now I had a difficult choice. Spend precious moments with my son? Or explore my new and unusual wolf side? It was an impossible decision, and I expressed that fact with obvious wavering.
Knox laughed, turning me by my shoulders so I face the door out. "I'll make the bottle, you bundle yourselves up, and we'll decide when we get down there, how about that?"
The suggestion was perfect, just like my alpha.
***
The sky might have been blue and clear, but a fierce wind made bundling up a necessity. I wasn't sure what would happen to my jacket when I shifted. Faust had tried to explain how our wolf forms assumed our clothing with very little outward change, but the concept was too mind-blowing to think about for long.
Knox insisted on carrying me down the narrow path that wound down the stone cliff leading from the hotel to the beach below. I carried Angus and was appreciative of Knox's concern. My biggest fear was tripping and falling with Angus in my arms. It was funny how falling on the walk hadn't been something I was afraid of hours before, but now it was the only thing I could think about.
Knox carrying me relieved that worry. He didn't trip or stumble, never placed a foot anywhere than exactly where he wanted.
The others tagged along. None of them had seen a winged wolf before either.
When we got down to the sand, I retreated to a bleached-out log where I could feed Angus while the others messed around. They were often so serious in their human forms. I thought maybe their emotions were different—or if not different, they were able to handle them differently—in their wolf forms. They hopped, yelped, and frolicked. There simply wasn't a better word for the loping gait of the twins as they spurred each other on.
Angus finished his bottle, his little lips parted in an O even though I'd pulled the bottle nipple out. He hadn't had very many awake hours. But I would have time to gaze into his eyes. My impatience wouldn't last forever.
A shadow blocked the sun on our log, and I looked up to Diesel's glowing silhouette. "I can hold him, if you want to go…figure things out."
My breath hitched, even though I was trying so hard to not make this moment seem like a big deal. Diesel's dodgy expression told me he was uncomfortable, but he was still trying. I got to my feet, leaning into Diesel's chest to transfer the baby. I hadn't quite worked out how to hand him over without it looking like I was transporting a bomb that would go off at the slightest jostle.
Diesel didn't strain away from my closeness, though. He leaned in, his nose nearly touching the spot behind my ear where they all enjoyed to sniff.
"Thanks. I'm gonna go try not to…I don't know, fly away?"
Could I actually fly? What else were wings for? I met Knox and the others on the hard sand.
Faust shifted and grabbed his phone from where he'd left it with his shoes. "I told Nash I would record this. They haven't stopped talking about you over there."
My nerves hit then. My thoughts reduced to a molecular level, painfully aware of the way I was made of atoms, and though I seemed sturdy, I was actually a collection of very fast moving things. That hadn't seemed like an important point until right then.
What if I got things wrong in the scramble?
"You've already done this," Knox reminded me. "It was natural then, and it will be again. That's all I want you to think about right now. You don't coerce your body into a wolf. You allow your body to exist in the form it prefers."
What form did I prefer? I was excited to be a wolf, but scared as well. Which was silly because I wasn't afraid of Knox when he was a wolf. He didn't seem any different—not on a level that mattered.
My head turned away from the waves and toward Angus and Diesel, knowing they were still there but needing to check anyway. My baby was a wolf, and whether I understood how to shift or not, he would still be a wolf. I couldn't miss out on this bonding opportunity.
I nodded resolutely. Okay, I'm ready. That had been what I was about to say, but when I attempted to speak, I had a wolf's muzzle and a wolf's lolling tongue.