I explain as best I can with my breath all raspy and a thousand scenarios running through my head, all of which involve Wyatt OD’ing. I remember his rattlesnake breathing the last time I found him, how pale he looked, how dead.
Zora sits me down and makes me one of her lemongrass teas, and we just sit there for a while.
When I’ve calmed down a little, she mutters, “I don’t know what to say, Dani. Like I want to make you feel better, but what can I say?”
“Nothing. Because we both know he’s most likely doing drugs,” I mutter.
She nods, sighing. “I’m a shit friend. Here, let me try again. Don’t worry, baby doll, I’m sure he’s fine.”
I laugh softly, nudging her. “Never call me ‘baby doll’ again, Z.”
“How about this?” she says. “I’ll bring my work out and you can, I don’t know, watch TV or read your nursing textbook or something. And we’ll wait.”
“We might be waiting all night,” I say. “He said he’s sleeping over.”
“Then we’ll wait all night! Make a girls’ night of it.”
I nod, standing up to get my emergency med textbook. It’s been a while since I’ve looked at it anyway. “Thank you.”
I try my best to focus, but it’s hard with all these OD’ing thoughts whirring around and around my head. But eventually, I manage to sink into the work a little, making some good notes that I’ll be able to refer back to later. I keep them simple, flashcard stuff, so that I’ll be able to memorize them when I finally get the time. Then it’s half past ten, and Wyatt still isn’t home—because of course he’s not, because he said he’s staying at a friend’s, because this whole waiting-up thing is just a lie to make me feel better—and Zora’s yawning.
“You can go to bed,” I tell her. “I’m fine.”
But she doesn’t. She turns on the TV and grabs a blanket. I lie down, spent from my shift. I don’t expect to sleep when I close my eyes. I think I’ll just lie here all night, worrying.
But I do, after about half an hour. I fall into a fitful sleep where I dream of Dad slipping on the road, and then Wyatt’s throat making that horrible rattle noise. And Angelo, standing behind them all, like he’ll be there for me, like he means something.
Bzz. Bzz.
I wake to the brash ring of the apartment buzzer at four in the morning, feeling groggy and disoriented. I just about manage to zombie-walk to the intercom and jam my hand down on the button. At first, I’m going to snap at whichever drunk asshole is mashing the wrong button. But then the fog of sleep clears and I remember Wyatt, and my heart starts beating really fast.
“Wyatt?” I breathe.
“Is this Miss Wood?” a man says.
“Um, yes,” I say, my voice sounding really far away.
“I’m Officer Johnson,” he says. “Would you mind buzzing me up, miss? Or you could come down.”
I press the button that will let him up, and then start pacing around the apartment. Zora sits up on the couch, rubbing sleeping from her eyes. “What time is it? Dani? Are you okay?”
“A police officer is coming up here,” I say. “Right now.”
“Wait, what?”
I explain. She tries to sit me down, her hand on my arm, but I pull away. “I can’t sit down, Z. I need to walk. I need to run.”
Knock-knock. Officer Johnson’s knock is obnoxiously loud. I’m so angry at him, so disgusted that he’d do this to me, to my little brother. I walk to the door, open it.
And Wyatt is standing behind him, looking party-worn and drugged-up. But alive.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he’s alive.
I burst past the officer and throw my arms around him, kissing Wyatt about a million times as he tries to squirm away from me. He even hugs me back, probably because he’s high.
“You scared the shit out of me,” I growl in his ear.
“I know, sis. Shit. I’m sorry. I’m—shit.”
“Go inside,” I tell him.
He walks past me and I turn to the officer. He’s a tall, military-looking guy with ‘Campus Police’ written on his shirt. Ah, so he’s not a real cop, then. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Oh shit. I know what he’s going to say before he says it.
“Miss Wood, we found your brother in possession of several grams of a Class B controlled substance, as well as a large amount of marijuana. He says it’s for personal use, but it is very strong stuff and I’m not so sure.”
He’s doing his job. He’s not in the wrong. But the way he says it, like he’s so proud of himself, like he’s fucking Sherlock Holmes and he’s cracked the case, drives me crazy.
“My brother isn’t a drug dealer,” I snap.
He seems taken aback. “In any case, he will most likely be expelled,” he says.
“How do you know it’s strong stuff?”
“Pardon me?”
“The drugs!” I snap. “You said it was very strong stuff. How do you know that? What, you got it back to the lab, had it tested, and then got the results all in a few hours?”
He fidgets a little awkwardly, and then mutters, “I examined it. It’s a powerful stimulant narcotic, as far as I can tell.”
“You fucking examined it?” I yell.
From the doorway Zora says, “Is something wrong here? What’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing.” I turn to her, pointing a finger at the campus cop. “Just that Officer Johnson here is moonlighting as a goddamn chemist now.”
“Miss Wood,” he interrupts coldly. “I didn’t have to come here. It was a courtesy.”
Even as I do it—flip him the bird, right in his face—I know I’m the one being a bitch. I know I’m in the wrong. Yet I’m just so fucking angry right now. “How’s this for a courtesy?” I say. “Are we done here, or you wanna threaten my little brother some more?”
His lips stiffen. “No, I think we’re done, ma’am. Have a good night.”
Zora and I just stand there for a moment, silently acknowledging how messed up this is. She nods down the hallway. “Don’t feel bad about him, Dani. He’s the one scaring the shit out of you at four in the morning. I know that look. You feel guilty.”
“I don’t care,” I snarl. “Not about him. I don’t even remember his fucking name right now.”
I turn and look at Wyatt, already curled up on the couch. Zora puts her hand on my shoulder. “Go easy on him tonight,” she says. “If he’s on something, it’ll just make it worse. Trust me. I come from a town of drug addicts. Not that I’m saying Wyatt is a drug addict,” she adds quickly. “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I wanted it to.”
“He’s going to be expelled because he can’t stop doing them for one fucking night. What the hell else would you call him?”
“Come on.” Zora pulls me inside. “Get some sleep. Or go for a run. Or something. But don’t think about this anymore for a little while.”
I walk into the apartment and stand over Wyatt. I want to slap him and hug him at the same time.