A sense of calm overtook her, and she raised her shoulders. “I’m stronger than you think, Nicholas.”
“You might be, but when would you ever get a chance to prove it?”
When would she? Nicholas was terribly frustrating, but he was also almost always correct. She had no way to go out and experience the world like Nicholas. She could try to get a position as one of Queen Victoria’s ladies, but she didn’t love politics, and it seemed that was a prerequisite to the position. Not to mention that being at court was most likely not at all the kind of place that would prove to Nicholas she wasn’t flighty and unprepared to meet hardships head-on. She knew she could be a stronger person, but how was she supposed to show that to Nicholas? His ideas were to have her sit at home and not make life harder for anyone else. Was that really going to help her?
“I’ll prove it now. I’ll start following Rebecca around and helping with her duties.”
“She would never actually let you do any real work. You must know that.”
Bother, he was right again. Rebecca would never allow Patience to dirty her hands. Her dress was stained now, but that was only thanks to Patience enjoying herself. If she were to, say, beat a rug or carry dirty buckets of water? No, she would never get the chance.
She would need to go somewhere where no one knew who she was. A trusted family that would be certain to not abuse servants but would expect her to get all of her work done each day. A family Nicholas would respect, so she could prove to him her capabilities.
“I’ll serve under General Woodsworth, just as you did.”
Nicholas’s hand went to his forehead. “You are a woman. No unattached woman of any repute would be allowed near his armies. What you are speaking of is impossible, and it just goes to show how naive you are if you think that is even an option.”
“Not in the army, Nicholas. I will serve in his household.”
He took a deep breath and then slowly released it. “As what? What position would he offer you in his household? You make no sense.”
“I’ll be a maid.”
He laughed, a sound Patience hadn’t heard for months, if not years. She remembered liking it better before. This laugh was not about mirth; it was pure derision.
“You don’t think I can do it?”
Nicholas stepped away from the counter and strode to her side. He towered over her in a way he must have learned in the army. “I know you can’t. And not just because you lack every imaginable skill to be a maid.”
“How else would I gain those skills if I don’t become a maid?”
“You aren’t a maid.” Nicholas leaned over her. “You are the daughter of the Duke of Harrington.”
Patience leaned forward into him, poking his chest with her finger. “If you want to be precise, I am the sister of the Duke of Harrington.”
“Either way, it is impossible, and you wouldn’t last a day as a maid.”
“I would. I could last a whole two years like you did in the army.” Patience’s fingernails bit into her palms. She was done being underestimated by Nicholas. “And then I would come back as stuffy and hard-hearted as you did.”
“Why are we even discussing this? It is ridiculous and has no bearing. Why must we always get off on these fanciful ideas? All I want is for you to learn to respect the work that others have to do because of your thoughtlessness.”
“Well, that I could learn in a month. I wouldn’t need two years like you did.”
“Enough of this. You don’t actually have to change at all. I’ll try not to bring up General Woodsworth any longer. Women aren’t given those types of opportunities, and I need to stop regretting that, since there is nothing that can be done about it.”
“But there is. Send me to General Woodsworth’s with a letter. They would hire me if I had a recommendation from you. I will work there one month—that is all. Other than Mama’s singing, the house will be quiet, and you will finally have some peace. When I come back, I won’t be so prone to ripping dresses and disregarding my brother.”
He sighed and stepped away from her. “Despite all the other reasons that plan wouldn’t work, do you really think I could honestly write you a letter of recommendation? As a maid?”
She stood as straight as she could. She wouldn’t be intimidated by the man who, at one time, had spent hours catching frogs with her when they were children. “Then I will do it without your letter if you feel it impugns you to write one. I will find my own way into that household and show you that not only could I keep my job there for a month, I will have a letter of recommendation to bring to you at the end of it.”
“Don’t get this in your head.”
“It is already in my head.” Her mind was one space Nicholas couldn’t control.
“I will never allow it.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Stay away from General Woodsworth. He is one of the most respected men in all of England. I will not have you marring my reputation with him.”
“Fine. I won’t.”
“Promise me. I know you won’t break that promise, and I don’t like that look in your eye. The last thing I need is to have to chase down my runaway sister.”
It was too late. Patience had already made her decision. It might take some time to organize in such a way that Nicholas wouldn’t realize what she was doing, but it was as good as done. She was to be a maid in the Woodsworth household. An unfamiliar flutter of excitement beat in her chest. After two years of wearing black and being stuck at home, she finally had an adventure ahead of her. And the more she thought of it, the more she knew she needed this. She didn’t want to go naively from her brother’s house to some stuffy lord’s house without seeing what else was out there in the world. And she knew enough of the Woodsworth family to know that there was nowhere else in London she would be safer. No one crossed General Woodsworth. His household would surely be run as smoothly as his men were.
“I promise,” Patience replied.
Nicholas’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, Patience. Fortunately, I know you are incapable of lying. Just forget we ever had this conversation.”
Patience couldn’t agree to forget. That would be a lie, and just as Nicholas had said, she never lied. Luckily for her, Nicolas didn’t realize the only thing she had promised him was that she wouldn’t mar his reputation with General Woodsworth. And how could she, when she would plan an experience that didn’t involve her brother at all? No one in General Woodsworth’s home would even know she was Nicholas’s sister.
She was going to miss Ollie’s warm strength when she needed it, but other than that, she couldn’t think of a single thing she would miss about her home. It had become a prison, and she was finally going to escape.