Enar crouched in front of him and put a hand on his knee. “We don’t know that for sure.”
“He’s been gone more than six months now. Surely the chances of him turning up after all that time are minute.”
Enar’s eyes filled with sadness. “They’re not good, I agree. But until we have conformation, hang on to hope, Sando. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be, but cling to it as long as you can.”
Sando slowly nodded, taking a deep breath to push down the complicated entanglements of emotions inside him. Someday, he’d be brave enough to face them and figure out what he was feeling exactly, but today was not that day. “If you didn’t want to talk to me about my dad, what was it?”
Enar rose, then pointed at the other desk chair. “Can I sit?”
“Sure. The clinic is quiet today, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. We’ve been slammed this whole week, so it’s a pleasant breather. It reminded me that I’ve been wanting to talk to you about your heat.”
Uh-oh. Sando had wondered how long it would take Enar to get suspicious. “Why?”
“Sando, you’ve been here for six months now. When you arrived here, you said your heat was still two months off, but I never noticed it happening. You didn’t come to me for blockers or birth control, leaving me curious how you rode it out. And according to my calculations, it should be coming up again soon, so I just wanted you to know you can come to me if you need anything.”
Sando bit his lip as he studied Enar, thoughts racing through his head. Should he tell him? His father had never explained the why, had never allowed Sando to have it checked. But what if Enar told others? It would make Sando even more of a freak than he already was. More of an outsider.
“Are you saying this as the mate of the pack alpha? As my friend? Or as a doctor?” he finally asked.
Enar’s eyes were nothing but kind. “I’d like to think I’m all three, but I would never break doctor-patient confidentiality if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Not even with Lidon or Palani?”
“No. Not unless you were a danger to yourself or others, but we both know you’re not. What’s going on, Sando? What’s wrong?”
Sando got up and closed the door. The clinic might be quiet, but Maz was still around somewhere, and the last thing Sando wanted was for the tall alpha doctor to hear this. He waited until he’d sat down again, then took a deep breath. “I haven’t had a heat yet, and it’s doubtful I’ll ever have one.”
The only reaction Enar showed was his eyes widening for a moment. “Can you tell me more?”
Sando threw up his hands in a hopeless gesture. “I wish I could. My father never wanted to talk about it.”
“So you’ve never been diagnosed with anything? Talked to a doctor about it?”
“No. You’re the first person I’ve ever even mentioned this to. I’ve… I’ve always been healthy. Never had any kind of issues. But my heat never came. Not even symptoms of it, as I’ve seen described in literature. And when I mentioned it to my father once, he hadn’t sounded surprised, and he was dismissive about it.”
“Thank you for trusting me, Sando. What is it you’d like me to do? I’d be happy to do a full work-up for you to see if we can find out what’s happening in your body. Or I can ask Maz to do it if you’d be more comfortable with him.”
Sando immediately shook his head. “No. Not Maz. I prefer you.”
“Okay, no problem. I’d be happy to do it. ”
Sando took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve never even drawn my own blood to look at it.”
“Too scared of what you’d find out?’
Sando put his glasses back on. “A bit, yes. My father never wanted to talk about my heritage, where I came from. I have to assume I’m his biologically because I do see physical similarities, but I don’t know for sure.” A deep sadness filled him. “I guess now with him gone, I’ll never find out where I belong.”
“You belong here with us. You’re part of the pack now, of our family.”
Sando blinked a few times. “I know you mean it when you say that, but it’s hard for me to feel it’s true.”
“That makes sense. You’re very rational, Sando. That’s how you’re wired. I hope that you’ll allow yourself to believe it with your head. Your heart will follow.”
Sando pondered Enar’s words. He’d never thought about it like that. The rational part was not a surprise. But he’d always experienced his lack of feelings as if something was missing, as if he’d never have them. Was Enar right that if he allowed himself to trust his brain, his ration, that his emotions would follow? That was an interesting approach, not something he’d ever considered. Either way, he’d have to start facing the truth, even if it turned out to be scary or hard to deal with.
“I’d like you to do the work-up. I need to know what’s wrong with me.”
“Okay, then let’s do that. Can you walk with me to an exam room so I can check you out and draw some blood?”
Sando was about to agree when Enar stiffened. His whole posture went rigid, and his head jerked up. “What’s wr—“
“Hush,” Enar snapped at him, and that was so uncharacteristic that Sando’s mouth dropped open.
Enar was quiet for a few beats. It almost seemed as if he was listening with his heart instead of his ears. Then he jumped up. “Vieno. I gotta go.”
Before Sando could say anything, Enar yanked the door open and sprinted away, running faster than Sando had ever seen him move. What the hell had just happened?
He was still sitting there, stunned, when Maz stepped in, looking worried. “Where was Enar running off to? He flew by me in the hallway.”
“I don’t know. We were talking, and all of a sudden, he got all weird, then raced out.”
“He didn’t say anything?”
“He just said ‘Vieno, I gotta go,’ and that was it.”
Maz’s face lit up. “Vieno is due in a few days. I think his labor started.”
Sando had heard that the main foursome could sense each other’s emotions, particularly strong ones, but he’d never seen it happen like this. That was pretty damn impressive. And a little scary.
“I’d better grab my stuff. He’ll need me there soon,” Maz said.
“Enar doesn’t want to do the delivery himself?”
“It’s his mate, Sando. He wants me there as well, just in case.”
“Oh, right. But what about the clinic? Lucan isn’t here either.”
“Right.” Maz sighed. “I forgot.”
“I can hang a sign on the door and close.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I promise I’ll triple-check all the windows and locks.”
“Thanks, Sando. You’re a star.” He hesitated, then bent in and kissed Sando on his cheek. Sando’s hand flew to his cheek, and he sat like that for minutes after Maz had left the clinic.
Maz was running to the main house, his doctor’s bag in his hand, including some stuff he’d thrown in on a whim, when his phone rang.