“It's . . . well, you know why.” Caleb pulled out Leo's favorite lopsided smile, but it didn't banish the slight frown on Leo's face. “It's about you.”
“Is that bad?” Leo wondered.
“No, no, no, of course not.”
Leo pouted. “Do you think I wouldn't like that you write songs about me? I know you do, just like you know that most of my songs are about you. It's sort of inevitable, isn't it?”
“It's not that,” Caleb said, squirming a little. “It's . . . different from how I originally envisioned the song, and I'm just not sure I like it yet. It's catchy as hell, but . . . I don't know? Not my style, maybe?”
“Do you know what your style is?” Leo wondered. “Because I don't, really. Not anymore. I know what our Star Shadow sound has evolved into, but not what my sound would be individually. And I guess that's why I haven't attempted any solo projects yet. I'm still figuring out who I am and what kind of music I want to make now that the band is back together and we're back together.”
It was a fair point. Caleb had wondered the same thing before, which wasn't a surprise, because he and Leo had talked about it, because they talked about everything. But somehow, deep down, Caleb had hoped that Brad could provide the answer to that particular question. That he'd know which direction Caleb should point his career in. Instead, Caleb was left feeling vaguely dissatisfied, despite the song, and wondering if he shouldn't have figured out his shit first with the one person who he felt truly understood him.
“You're so damn smart,” Caleb grumbled, pulling Leo flush against him. Reveling in the feel of his bare chest even against his own t-shirt. “Why aren't I as smart as you?”
“You are,” Leo said. “You love me, don't you? That seems pretty smart.”
Caleb chuckled. “Like it was an actual choice. It wasn't. You opened your door and my heart fell right at your feet. It was that simple.”
“It was, wasn't it?” Leo said, resting his head on Caleb's shoulder. “I wish everything was as simple as this.”
For a long time, Caleb didn't move, just enjoyed the feeling of Leo's body against his own. The way his brain quieted, the way his heart relaxed, just when Leo was near. And the more he came back to himself, the more he realized that Leo should hear the song. “Do you really want to hear it?” he finally asked.
Leo didn't raise his head. “Of course,” he said, voice muffled by the cotton of Caleb's t-shirt. “I kept saying I did, didn't I?”
Caleb wiggled, pulling his phone out of his pocket without dislodging Leo from his current position. “Okay,” he said. “No judgment. And no laughing, either.”
“Would I do that?” Leo asked innocently.
Caleb chuckled as he pulled up the song. “You absolutely fucking would,” he said.
“Only if it deserved laughter!” Leo insisted. “Seriously!”
“Someday, I'm going to trade you in for a more supportive model,” Caleb teased, nudging Leo's foot with his own. They both knew he wouldn't—and that even though Leo could be infuriating, he was absolutely, one hundred and ten percent, always on Caleb's side. Even when they didn't agree; Leo only ever wanted what was best for him. With that reminder, he clicked play on the song.
Almost immediately Leo began tapping his fingers against Caleb's shoulder with the beat. It was rather catchy, Caleb could admit that. And then the chorus started, with the falsetto that Brad had insisted he do, even though Caleb thought he sounded kind of stupid, and Leo's fingertips turned into claws, digging in.
“That’s you?” Leo questioned over the song. He fumbled for the phone, practically grabbing it from Caleb's hands and pausing the song. Caleb didn't know if it was so terrible he couldn't handle it anymore, but he held his breath, waiting for Leo's verdict as he stared at him. “Is that you?” Leo repeated.
“Uh, yeah?” Who else could it have been? But then Leo hadn't been at Brad's house and didn't know he hadn't magically produced a handful of backup singers alongside the musicians.
“You're fucking incredible, did you know that? I didn't know you could sing like that,” Leo said, and sounded actually serious. “It's not what I'd ever have expected out of you, and maybe that's a good thing.”
“It is?”
“It's a fucking incredible thing.” Leo restarted the song, and wrapped his arms around Caleb, hugging him close as the song played all the way through to the end.
When it finished, he didn't say anything else.
Maybe Leo hadn't liked it after all. In the end, maybe not being what he'd expected was bad.
Finally, Leo lifted his head, and there were tears in his blue eyes. “You really wrote this about me?”
“When I came back, yeah. During tour rehearsals? Maybe right after we started the tour.”
Leo stared at him. “But you didn't want to get back together then.” Like he remembered that conversation they'd had in the dark, in their backyard, the night before the dress rehearsal, just as indelibly as Caleb did.
“I still loved you,” Caleb said sternly. “You knew that. You know that.”
“You adore me,” Leo said, exhaling. “I adore you too, you know.”
Caleb rested his chin on the crown of Leo's head. Was it possible to be so happy you might explode? So happy that the joy could leak backwards and eliminate all the pain and suffering you'd felt for so many years? Caleb thought if that could be true, then Leo might slowly heal all those lonely, miserable years one heart-stopping moment at a time.
CHAPTER THREE
Caleb woke early, when everything was still dark. Leo was cuddled up next to him, in his usual position, his back warm against Caleb's side. He was snoring delicately, even though he continued to proclaim, despite all the years of evidence otherwise, that he'd never ever in a million years do anything as crass as snore. But he did, and Caleb thought, as he lay there and listened to it, that he was lucky to know that about him. He'd been lucky ten years ago, and he was even luckier now.
He rolled over and glanced at his phone screen. It was still twenty minutes before his alarm went off, when he'd need to get out of bed and shower before heading to Brad's house to continue recording more of his solo album. But twenty minutes was still plenty for what he had in mind.
“Leo,” Caleb murmured, reaching out and pressing a hand to the small of Leo's bare back. Leo groaned and shuffled closer to the edge of the bed, away from Caleb's voice and his touch.
Caleb might've been hurt, but he knew how Leo felt about his sleep. He was not a morning person, and he didn't like to get woken up before he was good and ready—except maybe one way.
“Come on, sweetheart,” Caleb coaxed, following him across the enormous raft of a bed. He wrapped his arms around Leo, his larger form enveloping Leo's smaller one.
Leo groaned. “I can feel your hard dick, you know, and you're not getting anything you think you're getting,” he grumbled.
“I'm not?” Caleb questioned. He knew better. Leo could always be coaxed to come around to his point of view. If anyone else tried it, they'd probably get murdered, slowly, but there was something to be said for being the man that Leo Humphries adored.