At the back of my hut, I’d built a ramp that rose along the back wall to the roof. I ascended it until I was able to take a step onto the roof. She gasped as she took in the view, and I placed her on her one good foot.
Her eyes darted from the sky to the ground to the leaves which reached toward us. She reached out and tapped one with her finger, laughing softly as a drop of water resting on the leaf splashed onto her foot. I understood her awed reaction. This was the reason I came up here often at night.
Our moon glowed softly through the trees and stars tinkled. The outline of another planet was just visible, lit by its own moon and the stars. I sometimes came up here when the painful disconnected memories became too much, when my cluttered mind felt fractured. I’d often wondered when the last of my sanity would slip.
But I didn’t want to think about that now, especially because the memories had started to come into focus, just a little bit, as long as Merr-anda was at my side.
She took a few tentative steps toward the center of the roof near the hole I’d cut into it for sunlight. I arranged one of the furs I’d carried on the floor and wrapped the other around her shoulders. She smiled at me, white teeth gleaming in the dark.
I sat down next to her and pulled my hair pick from my pocket. I ran it through my unruly strands, doing my best to untangle the knots. I had thought many times of cutting it, but my reflection was often the only thing I recognized. I worried if I didn’t even recognize that, then I’d truly go mad.
Merr-anda’s hands stilled mine, and then she plucked the comb from my fingers. Her touch was soft, and I craned my neck as she knelt behind me. With a tsk sound, she redirected my head with a gentle press of her fingers to face away from her.
At the first pull on my scalp, my eyes fell closed. As she worked through the tangles, she made a sound, like her sengeng, but with no words. The vibrated melody wound through my limbs one by one, loosening the tension in my muscles until I felt like a cloud floating in the air.
She worked on my hair for a long time, as a welf family howled in the distance and moira scurried below us in the brush, foraging for food.
I couldn’t remember when I’d ever felt this content or relaxed. No one had touched me like this or took care of me ever. I hadn’t thought I’d enjoy it or want it. But now she’d shown me this attention, I knew I’d crave it.
When the tugging on my scalp stopped, I mourned the loss of her touch. I cracked my eyes open as she touched my face. She held up a strand of her hair, wound together in a braid. Then she tugged on my own hair with a questioning look. I nodded, and she smiled.
When she slipped to my back again, the tugging continued, and I closed my eyes again. She worked quickly and continued her wordless sengeng. The murkiness of my mind seemed to fade, the dark shapes in the background creeping forward. Usually that came with pain, but now, I only felt warmth as Merr-anda’s hands sifted through my hair, occasionally rubbing my shoulders and neck.
I often fought with the shadows when they surged forward, tired of the pain, the memories. But now, I felt stronger and ready to take them on. It was because of her, Merr-anda. I’d thought my purpose was to protect her and care for her, but I hadn’t realized what she’d do for me. The human I’d thought fragile was physically smaller than me, but her mind? It was formidable. Kindness radiated from her, and she’d brought beauty back into my life. When had I ever taken the time to admire the many-colored blooms in the forest? Now I had eaten with a cup full of them.
Merr-anda’s sengeng calmed me, and her touch invigorated me. With her, I didn’t feel scared to investigate the murky shapes in my mind. The barrier of dark smoke I’d thrown up long ago to protect me now shamed me.
I hadn’t realized she’d stopped her task until she was in front of me, eyes assessing her work as they flitted over my hairline. I placed a hand on her thigh, the skin still sun-kissed warm despite the darkness. Her gaze shot to me. Held. Heated.
I surged forward and pressed our lips together. At first, she didn’t move, and I worried I’d taken things too far, but then a needy little moan rose from her chest and fluttered across my lips. I needed more. I needed her, maybe more than she needed me. When I slipped my tongue into her mouth, she gasped and clutched my jaw with her talented fingers. I wrapped a hand around her lower back and tugged her into my lap, where her legs straddled my hips, her heated core pressed against my hard cock.
I licked into her mouth with abandon, craving her taste and her little moans, and the way her hips churned against mine. Dizzy with her, my mind spinning and the smoke protesting at the upheaval. The stars in my mind pressed, insistent, their glow forcing the barrier of smoke back like an advancing army of light.
A singular image broke through. My face but younger, wind whipping my long hair around my shoulders. And with that image came one singular sound. Foreign at first until it beat inside my head like a caged hunner. Drak. Drak. Drak. Drak.
I pulled back from her with a growl, clutching my head as the word pelted me over and over again. I fell onto my back with a groan and Merr-anda surged over me, eyes no longer glassy with arousal but now wide with concern. Her mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear any sound. I could only hear that word over and over again.
Drak. Drak. Drak. Drak.
It was like a rock against the wall of my skull until a crack appeared, just enough for a bit of light to peak through.
The word burst out into the light, and knowledge slammed into me like a truth-tipped arrow. My throat burned, fire ripping through the cords there just as my lips moved. That’s who I was. I was….
I opened my mouth, eyes finally focusing on the creature above me who had broken through my darkness, and I uttered the first word that had left my lips in as long as I could remember.
“Drak.”
Miranda
The word ripped from his throat like a record-scratch, the sound caustic and abrupt. He clutched his throat, eyes panicked and pained as he writhed on the rooftop under me.
Tears pricked at my eyes because this big strong alien looked equal parts terrified and tortured.
I placed my hands over his, but he didn’t stop. He said the word again, which rhymed with back. “Drak.” With a swallow he tried again, and this time it was less like sandpaper on tree bark. “Drak.” His chest heaved, and the smoke in his aura was a whirling mess, sometimes gaping so large that figures behind it were nearly visible.
He struggled to sit up and plastered my hand against his throat. I waited as he panted with his eyes closed.
“Hey,” I kept my voice as calm as I could, the one I used with my siblings’ when they were upset about bad grades or cheating boyfriends. “It’s okay. I’m right here. You’re okay. Come back to me. Please.”
He took one more shuddering breath and the smoke in his aura faded. Light peaked through, and when his eyes opened, they were a vibrant purple. His pulse which had been beating rapidly in his neck slowed. He slid my hand down to his chest, where he clutched it and pressed it over his heart. “Drak,” he rasped.
He took our hands and placed them on my chest, then looked at me expectantly.
“Um…Miranda?”
He nodded, and then pointed to his own chest again. “Drak.”
My mouth dropped open. “Is that your name? Drak?” Did he just suddenly remember it? I gripped his face and said it again. “Drak.”