“I need my pixie,” I said. “I told Adrian to bring me her bell, but I can’t even remember if he’s visited me again since then. I keep searching my room every day…”
“Shh…” It was his turn to soothe me. “I will talk to Professor Wyvern.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
I smiled widely. I hoped this wasn’t all a lie. I hoped to God that Seth was being sincere and truly cared about me and my well-being. It was hard to trust him when he’d done what he’d done, but what choice did I have? As long as I was trapped in this hellish place, they were going to keep drugging me until I forgot my own name. All I could hope was that when one of the men who’d found me and forced me away from the edge of the well came to visit, I did everything in my power to convince him that I wasn’t supposed to be here. The Karmic Institute wasn’t just draining me of my powers. It was draining me of my very life essence.
“Kiss me again,” I demanded.
He complied. Soon, he was on top of me, his hands all over my body. He cupped my breasts, pinched my nipples through my plain blouse, and I moaned encouragingly. I needed more. I tried to wrap my legs around his waist, but the blanket was between us. I fought with it. He pinned me down.
“Not enough time,” he said, his voice husky.
I whimpered. He grinned as he snuck a hand under the blanket and pushed it down my pajama pants. On second thought, maybe sex wasn’t such a great idea when I wasn’t exactly feeling sexy. His hand slipped inside my cotton panties, and I opened my legs. I needed him to touch me. His fingers found my wetness and pushed softly inside. I threw my head back and moaned. I wanted more. Two fingers pumping my pussy weren’t nearly enough. I needed him inside me, I needed to see him naked and guide his cock to my entrance myself. I wanted to reverse our roles, so I’d be on top. But his thumb pressed down on my clit, and I realized I didn’t have it in me to take control. He started circling my sensitive nub, all the while keeping me down, keeping me trapped under his delicious weight. I bit down on my tongue when he pushed me over the edge. I came all over his fingers, yet I was far from feeling satiated.
“Please,” I said.
He removed his hand and kissed me tenderly. I was impatient, though. I wanted much more than what he’d just given me. I tried to kick the blanket off me one last time, and I accidentally knocked the tray off the bed. It clattered to the floor, the empty glass shattering to pieces. Seth jumped off the bed in a fraction of a second. He started cleaning up the mess, and when Nurse T came in, syringe in hand, Seth was on the floor and I was in bed, watching him with fake interest.
“What happened here?” she barked.
She was still holding the syringe, and my eyes zeroed in on it. I recoiled, grabbed a pillow, and hugged it to my chest, as if it could protect me from Nurse T. Seth stood up, tray in hand. He stepped between the woman and my bed and gave her the tray. Nurse T had no choice but to take it.
“Nothing happened. I was clumsy,” Seth said in a light, relaxed tone. “Could you please take this back to the kitchen? I’d be grateful.” His words sounded polite, but his tone kind of wasn’t. Behind his smile, he was implying that she was the one who worked here, after all, and he’d already paid her plenty. “I have to run back to the Academy. Classes are about to start.”
For a moment, she couldn’t believe he was talking to her like that, giving her orders like he was someone, and she was no one of importance. At the Karmic Asylum, she had power over me. And now, this man had stuffed her pockets with such a generous bribe that she couldn’t possibly look him in the eye and refuse to do as he said. She put the syringe away and stepped aside.
“Of course, Mr. Khepri. Visit again soon?”
“You bet.” He walked past her. As he exited the room, he shot me a smile and a wink over his shoulder.
Seth had truly made me feel better today, and not just because he’d given me a much-needed orgasm. Even though I still had my fears and my doubts, I chose to trust him. Once he was gone, however, the energy in the room changed. Nurse T dropped the tray with the broken plates and the shattered glass on the table and crossed her arms over her chest as she studied me.
“You seem rattled.”
My eyes widened. “N-no.”
“Yes. What did that young man tell you? He agitated you.”
“He did not.”
But her hand was back in her pocket, pulling out the syringe.
I can’t let her… An injection is far stronger than if I swallow the potion.
“I’m okay,” I tried. “I feel fine. Can I just…” I hesitated. “If you bring me my usual medication, I’ll drink it.”
“Will you now?” She stepped closer. “I already have this ready, and it’s the same thing.”
“I don’t want to sleep.” That was going to be the immediate effect if she gave me the shot. At least, if I drank the thing, I’d be confused and groggy, but awake.
“You need the rest, dear. Trust me.”
What could I do? Scream? She would’ve called the male nurses to hold me down. As she sank the needle into my shoulder, I looked at her with deep hatred in my eyes. I wanted to scratch her face, claw her eyes out. I wanted to bite off a chunk of her fleshy double chin and spit it on the floor. I wanted to wrap my arms around her neck and snap it.
I wanted to kill her.
No one would care. Nurse T… Did anyone even know her name? And even if she did have a family and a life outside of this dreadful place, still… no one would care.
What would it matter if she lived or died?
What would it matter if I lived or died?
As I drifted off, I realized… There it was again. The emptiness. Life, death… concepts. I didn’t want to kill Nurse T because of what she did to me every day. I wanted to kill her because…
… I just wanted to kill.
CHAPTER FIVE
I’d stopped counting the days a long time ago. I was pretty sure that the first time I came here, I’d tried to mark them off in one of those notebooks the Karmic Asylum provided along with a simple pencil. But every time I opened the notebook on my table, I found the pages empty. So, as I saw it, there were two possibilities: either I only thought I’d marked the days off and didn’t, or I’d marked them off, and someone always made sure to switch my notebook with a new one.
Conspiracy much?
My mind was going in circles.
Some days, I remembered Davien, Seth, and Adrian. Most days, I didn’t. Seth and Adrian were easier to remember because Adrian had kissed my forehead, and Seth had kissed me on the lips. The memory of Davien, the incubus, was elusive. But then again, most days I didn’t even remember myself. Who I was, where I was supposed to be. Who I was supposed to become. Most days, I just ate, slept, ate, and then slept some more. I couldn’t call what I had a life. I was dead to the world, since neither Corri, nor Mila knew where I was. I’d been gone for half a year, if not more, and Mila hadn’t tried to find me once. Was she that busy? I couldn’t blame Corri, since she was my pixie, and I was the one who was supposed to call her if I needed her. And oh, how I needed her! I needed her like I needed air to breathe! Everyone had forgotten about me. Even Aunt Katia… No, I couldn’t blame her either. For all I knew, she’d tried to visit me countless times. Maybe she’d even succeeded, but because of the heavy drugs I was constantly on, I couldn’t see her. As Seth had said, they blocked all my senses, except for the most basic ones: smell, taste, touch, sight…