“I just need to know one thing,” she said in a harsh whisper, hating the tears that pricked the corners of her eyes. “Did you take Eislyn? When you delivered me to your father’s feet, did you do the same to my sister? Did you take her?”
Lorcan’s jaw twitched, but his face remained impassive. A blank slate. An empty canvas. The only emotion was in his eyes, but it was so chaotic that she could not tell if it was hate, pain, or fear. “No.” A beat passed. “But what is my word to you? Right, Reyna? I am a shadow fae and a liar, and I cannot be trusted. I poisoned you, stole you away on a ship, and delivered you to the enemy. An enemy who has forced you into submission. So, what does it matter if I didn’t take your sister? I’ve done enough for you to hate me for the rest of our miserable lives.”
Reyna could do no more than stare, her heart in her throat, a roar in her ears, even in the silence of the room. She had not expected him to be so brutally honest, almost casual in the way he had admitted what he’d done. What did he expect? For her to suddenly forgive it all, based on what? His ability to own up to his mistakes?
“You did do those things,” she said, her voice hoarse with raw emotion.
Lorcan’s hands clenched. “I did.”
She stared at him through blurring eyes, eyes that burned. “Is that all you have to say about it? No explanation? No apology? Nothing more than a confession is all I’ll get from you?”
“Would any explanation be good enough for what I have cursed you with?” he said in a harsh whisper. “You’re forever bound to my father. No, I agree with you for once, Reyna. Hate me. Hate me for eternity.”
His words burned. Why would he not tell her about Thane? Why wasn’t he even trying to make amends with her? Instead, it was as if he had given up. It was if he didn’t care. Not about her, not about anything.
“Ahem.” Nollaig cleared her throat, and Reyna suddenly remembered that she and Lorcan were not alone in the room. There had been an audience to their fight, and several pairs of eyes were looking anywhere but at them. Her neck flushed, and Nollaig continued as if there hadn’t been an interruption. “There are two hidden gates that the Air Court never found during their occupation of the city. The wood fae shouldn’t know their location either, so it is unlikely we will be spotted. We will leave at nightfall to be certain.”
Nollaig paused and appeared to glance around the table, waiting for questions or objections. When no one spoke, she continued. “The wood fae prefer to stick to the trees, and they know their forests well. Some are most likely camping out here.” She pointed to a spot inside the forest the began several hundred meters from the border between the realms.
Teutas frowned and peered down at the map. “If they’re that close, then we are at a great disadvantage. We’re not yet ready for a siege.”
Reyna glanced up, eyebrows lifting. That was interesting. She hadn’t known that. If the shadow fae were not yet ready for a siege, she almost wanted the Wood Court to attack. If she could somehow find her sister and extract her from her cell while the shadow fae were distracted by an army at their gates…
Of course, her vows would never allow her to do that either. She’d promised not to flee…but she had never promised a thing in regards to her sister. She could get Eislyn out of these godforsaken lands. She just couldn’t leave herself.
“Indeed,” Nollaig mumbled. “We have already sent a few scouts. None of them have returned. Odds are, the wood fae are already nearby. But we need to confirm it.”
Reyna frowned. “They never returned? So, the king is sending us out on a death quest.”
“The previous scouts were not protected by a trained Shieldmaiden, a king’s own guard, and me.” Nollaig smiled, or at least, Reyna thought it sounded like she smiled. It was impossible to tell, the strange shadow fae’s face always hidden beneath her black hood.
“And I am going,” Tarrah said quietly from where she bent over the map, studying it with a deep crease between her eyes. “I’m protected by Unseelie.”
Reyna fought the urge to roll her eyes. “If you’re protected by Unseelie, then why do the rest of us need to go?”
Tarrah blinked up at her. “Because I have seen every one of you in my visions. Unseelie wishes for you to be with me always. I do what my god commands.”
Any doubt Reyna once had about the girl’s beliefs, she no longer had now. There was an earnestness to her words that could not be faked. Reyna did not believe for one second that Unseelie protected her, but she knew that Tarrah believed it wholly.
But Unseelie protected no one. He was the god of darkness and cruel hate. His magic poisoned the minds of any who used it, and then twisted them into believing they were right. Unseelie made those who followed him see the world upside down, sideways, through mirrors. Good was wrong, and wrong was good. Murder was the greatest display of honor.
Once, Reyna reminded herself. That had once been the message of Unseelie, if he even existed at all. But just like all magic, his had vanished after the Fall. He held no power anymore.
Unless…
Nollaig tapped the map again. “Of course, the scouts were instructed to carry on up to here.” She now pointed to a spot near Murias. It was just as Reyna had feared. “It is possible they were caught much further north than we fear. It would still mean that the Wood Court is on the march, but we would have far more time to prepare.”
“Why don’t we just send our familiars?” Reyna asked. “My owl and your crow can see where they are.”
Nollaig’s voice went razor sharp. “Absolutely not. It is impossible to spot the wood fae through the canopy of trees, and I will not send Holas down below it. The wood fae are skilled in archery, and there are no snow owls or crows in their woods. As soon as they spotted a foreign bird, that bird would be dead.”
A chill swept down Reyna’s spine. “All right. Scratch that idea then.”
Nollaig continued with her plan, pointing at various spots on the map and explaining the obstacles they might encounter along the way. Reyna found her mind wandering. It was impossible to stay focused when she could feel a pair of eyes on her skin. Swallowing hard, she twisted her head toward the back corner where Lorcan still stood. His gaze was unflinching, but his expression was utterly unreadable.
Her heart pounded. Over the weeks of her captivity, she had imagined, time and time again, what she would do once she saw him. She’d known she could not avoid him forever. Eventually, the past would catch up to her, the ghosts transforming into fully-formed beings.
She had recited words. She had closed her eyes and imagined their steel clashing together. She had wondered how it would feel to face him on the battlefield. In her mind’s eye, there had always been a standoff. Lorcan against her and everything she loved. A blade pointed at his heart. Instead, she had gotten this.
It was not enough.
Nollaig cleared her throat, drawing Reyna’s attention from Lorcan’s face. She could not see the strange shadow fae’s face and yet Reyna could swear she saw Nollaig frowning. “Your vows prevent you from killing shadow fae, Shieldmaiden. Any shadow fae.”
Reyna scowled. “As long as you understand that I would kill every last one of you if I could, that’s enough. For now.” She turned her glittering eyes back on Lorcan, hoping he caught the meaning of her words. “You wouldn’t be the first enemy I’ve plotted against. Did you truly think I agreed to marry Thane so that I could become his sweet, silent wife? My other sisters might have, but me?”