“Hey,” I answer seeing Carly’s number.
“You okay?” Carly asks.
“Not really,” I admit. Even with how embarrassing this is, I manage to tell Carly because we tell each other everything.
“Don’t get down on yourself.” I wipe a tear that escapes. I need to come to terms with the fact that Reed and I won’t be together. That he doesn’t have the same feelings for me that I do for him. I know that he’ll continue to be good to me and maybe even compromise what he wants to make me happy. But I can’t let him do that.
He’s a great friend to me. I wish I could keep him there and that it was enough, but I can’t help how I feel. I don’t think my heart can bear the constant disappointment of knowing he’ll never be mine. I know I’ll never get over him if I’m seeing him all the time.
“It’s hard not to.” I start walking.
“He might be freaked out. I still think the man is in love with you. I don’t care what you say. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Last night he got to see that you have the same feelings. Maybe he’s running scared.” I snort a humorless laugh.
“Yes, that’s just what a girl wants to hear. That the man she loves is running scared from her.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I can’t chase him. It’s one thing to try and show him that I want him and another to downright chase after him. I can’t do it.” I’m not that girl. It will hurt me to walk away, but I won’t beg him to be with me. The only reason I’ve gone this far is because I thought maybe he had those same feelings. That it might have been something more than a physical attraction.
“You’re right. You shouldn't have to chase any man. That means we move to Plan B.” Oh no. There is another plan? I’m almost afraid to hear what Carly has up her sleeve now.
“Plan B?”
“Yes, it has worked wonders for women since the beginning of time.”
“Okay, what is this wonderful plan of yours?”
“Ignore him. Be busy. Pretend you don’t have the time of day for him.”
“What?” How can avoiding him make him see me in a different light?
“I’m telling you. You gotta trust me here.” He’s not here now so it will be easy to start this plan. Reed never talks unless I speak to him. I have to pull stuff out of him. I have to make an extra effort to see him outside of dinner. Maybe this will work.
“Okay.” I agree. I think the plan is silly. Yet I know that I’m going to go through with it anyway. I quickly convince myself that I’m doing it to start to create some space between Reed and me. That this distancing will be the first step. The second will be moving out.
“This is going to be awesome.” Carly lets out a fake evil laugh that sends her into a coughing fit.
“Did you just choke on your own spit?” I don’t hide my own laughter at her expense.
“I’m okay.”
“Good. When this plan falls through we’re going back to the other one.”
“That’s not a hard deal to agree with. You and me in the big city sharing a condo would be kickass.”
“It would,” I agree as I cross the street at the light.
“As much as I want us to live together, I want you to get what you want more. I know he has feelings for you. I’m not saying that to get your hopes up either. You know I’m not one to blow smoke up your butt. Give him some more time. Stick to the plan. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.” I hang up my phone. I know one thing for sure. I’m not rushing home whether he’s there or not. I’m sure he’ll hear about it.
9
Reed
“What do you mean she’s in the mall?” I pull up my tracking on her phone. The little bubble with her beautiful face pops up, showing me she is indeed at the mall.
“She’s roaming around. She stopped at the food court and got a soda. She hasn’t bought anything else. I think it’s because she’s jumpy. She spooks easily.”
“Stay on her,” I say before ending the call. What the hell is she doing at the fucking mall? I don’t care if she wanted to go to the mall. That isn’t the problem. The problem is she does spook easily. Yesterday when she went into the department store she freaked out a little.
I look back down at my phone. She still hasn't texted me back since I told her I’d be out of town for a few days. What I needed was to feel like less of a bastard for taking advantage of a frightened innocent girl who thinks I’m some hero. I’m not a hero. Most of my thoughts about Tinsley are covered in sweet sin. It’s the reason I have to get away for a few days. I need to take control of the situation before I do something that will hurt her.
Her sweet temptation is too much for me to resist. But I won’t take her under the guise of helping her out. No, I would only take her if she promised to be mine forever. If she knew that when I sunk myself balls deep in her and spilled my seed that it meant eternity for us. But I know she’s nowhere near ready for that. Having only a small taste of her is not something I’m equipped to handle.
I don’t know if she can handle all of that. If she knew all those dirty thoughts I have about her, the things I want to do to her delicate body, it might change how she looks at me. I lean back in my chair. It’s going to be a long couple of days. She might come to her senses and change her mind about what she asked for. Fuck, will that hurt. Even if she only wanted to mess around to test the waters, it could be my only chance to ever taste her.
“Don’t go in there!” I hear Robert shout a moment before James comes rolling into my office like he owns the place.
“It’s fine.” I wave Robert off before he tries to tackle James and gets himself hurt. James spent all of college in underground fighting tournaments. It’s not because he needed the money either. He likes to hit shit.
“Why yes I would love a drink.” James strolls over to my wet bar, pouring himself a scotch. He brings it over, placing it in front of me before going back to get himself one. I pick it up, taking a healthy swig.
“You looked like you needed one.” He pulls his suit coat off, dropping it over the chair before he sits down, kicking his feet up onto my desk. I down the rest of my drink.
“What did I do to earn the pleasure of your presence?”
“You didn't even tell me to get my fucking feet off your desk. I think I’m growing on you.”
“You're my cousin. I thought I was stuck with you.”
James smiles and takes a sip of his drink. “Who kicked your puppy?” He drops his feet down. I don’t answer him. Do I look that fucking bad? Probably. This day has been hell since I slipped out of bed leaving Tinsley in it after I slowly pried her off me.
Then I’d come out of the shower to see her still sound asleep, half out of the covers with her shirt bunched up, showing off her white cotton panties. Reminding me of her innocence once again. Her hair was a mess and she was smiling in her sleep. She looked well fucked. Making me wish that was the reality of her spending the night in my bed.
“Have a lot of things on my mind. Important decisions that need to be made.” I can tell he wants to say something but is debating whether or not he should. Which surprises me because he’s not one to ever hold back.