“Good. We should be able to get in then. Tell your men to watch their asses and watch where those bullets fly.” He nods once before climbing out of the car, Jordy and I following closely behind him. He talks into his hand held before motioning for us to follow. Guns are drawn. My body vibrates with energy. Is it because I’m about to make a kill or that I could possibly be meeting my daughter soon? Either way, my body ignites in fire as we burst through the front door.
Guys move around quickly at every angle until I hear a scream. My heart stops beating. Images of Amelia sitting on her bed when Julius was about to attack her float back into my head. My chest heaves as I head toward the sound without regard to where anyone else is. I take the stairs two at a time. There is nothing running through these cold veins of mine but adrenaline.
I kick in every door on the damn floor before stopping at the last one. Ramming my shoulder into it, I rush through it not prepared for what I find on the other side. A little girl with bloody hands sits on the floor on her knees, a man’s body in front of her.
“He fell down.” Her eyes water with unshed tears.
I nod my head as I get closer to her. She’s visibly shaken but I don’t think she’s hurt. I drop to my knees next to her, reaching for her hands.
“Are you hurt?” Calming my tone as to not scare her further, she shakes her head.
“I heard booms and he came in. Then he just fell.” Her little voice sounds so much like her mother’s that it’s scary.
“Did I hurt him?” I can’t speak. I can’t say a damn word as I sit here face to face with my own child. My flesh and blood. The one good thing I have ever done in my life.
“You didn’t hurt him. Come.” I hold my hand out to her. My heart pounds in my chest. Amee stands, her blue eyes glistening in the soft light of the room.
“Are you my daddy?” Her words hit me like a train. It knocks the breath out of me.
“I am. How did you know that?” She steps toward me cautiously.
“Mommy had pictures of you.” Ava showed her pictures of me. She told her about me.
“Your mommy is waiting for you.” Her smile lights up the room. My God, I thought I found heaven in Ava, but it’s nothing compared to what I see in Amee.
“Where?” She whips her head around looking for her as her long, dark, curly hair, flies over her shoulder.
“Come on. I will take you to her.” Amee grins at me. It’s the most perfect smile that I’ve ever seen. She steps into my arms and I pull her into my chest. Running my hand down her hair, I sigh with contentment.
“Ti amero sempre.”
Chapter 50
Shear amazement. That’s all I feel. I watch the two of them as if they’ve been with me the whole time. Amee was ecstatic to see her mom. I always knew that Ava would make the perfect mother, but watching her with our daughter seals that in stone. She’s so caring and in tune with her. They sit on the edge of the bed, Ava brushing Amee’s hair as I lean against the wall watching.
Ava’s eyes sparkle with a joy all her own. It makes my heart swell with pride. I never knew that a family could mean this much to me. My uncle was always my family, but this, this is something so different. It’s another world all its own. The light of heaven reflects in those two. Of everything else I’ve done in this world, that right there is the best of it. It occurs to me that I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve either one of them. The monster in me is way too consumed with this life.
If I was to leave it, what kind of life could I offer them? I only know this life. I know nothing of the outside world anymore.
I know I can’t keep them in this life, though. Far too much has happened and far too much was taken away from me. I couldn’t do that again. I couldn’t lose either of them.
“Daddy,” Amee calls my name, snapping me out of my thoughts. Her bright blue eyes peer up at me like I’m the best person in the world. I hate to be the one to break that part of her, the fact that her father is a monster.
“Will you play?” Cocking my head to the side to study her, I smile before giving her a slight nod. She extends her hand before I take it in mine. So much warmth flows from her. So much goodness. She leads me toward Ava. Amee drops to the floor before grabbing a book. She doesn’t even look up as she flips through the pages. I can’t pull my eyes away from her. Ava’s hand comes to rest on my arm before I glance over at her smiling face.
“You showed her photos of me.” Ava nods slightly, her smile never fading.
“She needed to know that you were around. She understood that we couldn’t see you right then, but I wanted her to know you cared.” My heart slams in my chest.
“How did you know that I’d care?” Her smile fades before she pats the bed next to her, motioning for me to sit. Once I do, I wait for her to speak.
“You kept all that feeling inside of you. Amelia ripped that scab open. It didn’t matter that you tried to hide it. I knew you’d love your child. There was never a doubt in my mind. Should there have been?” Ava turns her head to face me. So much emotion paints her expression.
“No.”
“You can’t be serious right now, Cord?” Ava folds her arms over her chest as she glares at me. I hate this for her. I really do.
“When have you known me to not be serious?” Closing my emotions down is the only way around this. As much as it pains me, I’m doing the right thing.
“So this is what you’ve decided? You’re just going to leave us again?” Ava’s voice cracks and I know it’s taking all she has in her to lock down what she feels in this moment.
“Believe me when I say that I’ve thought long and hard about this. It wasn’t my first choice, Ava. It is the best choice, though. I have a rat in this family. One that is threatening all of our safety. I can’t bring you two around that anymore.” Her eyes blaze to life. She wants to fight me on this; I can see it in her eyes.
“I’m so fucking tired of you making all the decisions, Cord! You don’t get to choose my life for me!” There’s that fire that I’ve always loved about her. She’s perfectly amazing.
“This one isn’t up for discussion, Ava! I will not lose you two. I will not watch you die by my hands!” Her arms fall to her sides as Amee walks into the room. Her eyes are big and bright. I crouch down on the floor and open my arms for her as she takes off running. Throwing herself into my arms, I pull her against me. So much love and hope. She is full of both. That’s something I refuse to let her lose.
“Are you going to be a good girl for mommy?” Pressing a kiss to her cheek, she nods.
“I love you, daddy.” Those words melt my insides. I don’t know how to react when I hear them leave her lips. Even after the days I’ve spend with her, it always amazes me.
“I love you more than you know.” Kissing her cheek once more, she pulls back and looks up at Ava.
“Why are you crying, mommy?” I look up to see the tears falling down her cheeks. I hate that I’m the one causing it once again.
“Mommy is sad that you guys have to leave.” Amee’s eyes jerk back to mine as they sparkle in the light. So much like her mother.