“More of you to love, baby.” Okay so this is going to take a moment to sink in and get used to.
“Shut up. You can’t do things like any other person can you, one would have been fine, but no, you always have to go above and beyond.”
“Alannah, stop freaking out, everything is going to be fine, you’ll see. I need to go and get another teddy bear.” I smile. I grab a hold of her chin and force her to look into my eyes. I understand it’s a surprise but we can handle it and I try to convey that to her.
“Then you push them out.”
After the shock wore off on the drive home, we were both all smiles. Her doctor gave us a number of leaflets to read through and things to be aware of with carrying twins, sure there is risk involved with every pregnancy but I was worried about Alannah coping with the strain her body was about to go under, but first there was one little person we had to tell. Charlotte had previously asked to be a big sister however now that it was happening would she be just as excited as we were.
We’ve just finished eating dinner and before Charlie bolts out of her chair to leave Alannah takes hold of her hand and smiles at her.
“Daddy and I have something very important to tell you,” she begins.
“Am I getting a puppy? Or a kitten?” We both laugh at her, this kid will do anything for a pet.
“No, it’s something even better, well we think it is. Mummy is having a baby.”
“Really?” Her face splits into a grin while her wide eyes are darting back and forth between us. “You’re not shitting me?”
“Okay first of all, watch your language and I’ll be having words with your Aunt Melissa too, but yes, you’re going to be a big sister.” She screeches, her fists clench and she stands up proceeding to jump up and down on the spot from her excitement.
Alannah pulls her into her arms, moving her hair off her face.
“I’m glad you’re happy about this, in fact I’m having twins, so you’re getting two siblings.”
“No way!” She whispers. “Oh my gosh, thank you, thank you. This is so cool, please don’t be boys, they’re smelly and loud.”
“Well I can’t guarantee that but they will love you and you will love them no matter what they are.” Charlotte leans down to press her small hand on her mother and talks to her mother’s stomach.
“Hi in there, we’re gonna have so much fun together but don’t forget I’m in charge.”
As the months went by and our children and Alannah grew I would watch her with awe, she had this glow as she kept our children safe, one particular day as I had my hand on her stomach it hit me that all these things I’m enjoying are the things I missed out on previously with Charlotte so I made sure to spend extra time with Charlie, just the two of us. I couldn’t go back and do it over again but I also didn’t want her to see me paying attention to Alannah and talking to the twins while she was carrying them and wonder about when she was pregnant with her and the fact I wasn’t around. My old asshole self wanted to beat myself up. I loved her and ensured I told her every single day. Alannah told me not to worry so much, that Charlie won’t even remember that time but it’s something I needed to do for myself.
My assistant knocks on my door bringing me in my lunch. I thank her as I place the photo down and pick up my chicken wrap. Chicken and I have a strained relationship ever since Alannah’s crazy craving with it.
“Nick? Are you sleeping?” I feel shaking on my shoulder. My eyes are stinging and I don’t want to open them. I force myself to roll over and face her. I squint at her noticing she is sitting up with the lamp on. I grunt in answer. “I’m hungry. I want chicken.” She’s seven months along and is beginning to struggle to move around.
Chicken again? It’s been chicken for the past week now. We had it for dinner and there were no left overs. Her cravings are killing me, it’s always something random and never anything twice in a row except fucking chicken. One day it would be ice cream and two days later salty nuts.
“Really Alannah, it’s one in the morning, where am I going to get a chicken in the middle of the night? I can visit a farm and pick you up a fresh one if you like.” Okay I’m being a dick but I’m fucking exhausted and need to be in the office at seven for an international call.
She starts to cry and covers her face with her hands.
“You don’t care.” She sniffles.
I sit up, and hug her to me removing her hands and wiping her tears.
“Baby you know I don’t mean it, I’m just tired, I was asleep two minutes ago but seriously, how about eggs instead, they come from chickens?”
One month after that we were welcoming our babies into the world. They were a month early but it was to be expected with twins. I admit I was a mess and freaking out. Alannah went into labour in the afternoon, we left Charlotte at the house with my parents and rushed to the hospital. At the last check-up we had we were advised that the baby in front was breech, we were hoping it would turn on its own but it never did so we had no choice but for Alannah to have a caesarean. As she was taken into the operating room while I changed into scrubs I was uncertain and fearful, our lives were about to change drastically, I was praying that they all come out alright from this.
Finishing with my lunch I go to the first photo ever take of them as babies. We never found out the sex so we were pleased to have one of each. Kyle and Eliza Moore made their entrance with loud angry cries. They both have their mother’s brown hair and cute little button noses, my son has my grey eyes and his sister her mother’s brown. They were perfect in every way, so tiny and precious and I instantly became overprotective over them. It was love at first sight.
We have been left alone to bond with the babies while we wait for Wade to bring Charlotte to meet her siblings.
“Thank you, baby. I love you, I love our family, I am so proud of you, you are incredible.” I take her face in my hands and lay a loving kiss on her only to be interrupted by a cry. I guess I should get used to it.
Little Eliza is fussing so I go over to her bassinet. It takes me a couple of tries to pick her up and bring her to my chest where she quietens down.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, am I holding her correctly?” I wasn’t there for this with Charlie, I will be worrying over every little thing.
“Yes, just support her head and neck. You are an amazing father, Nick, don’t worry so much it will come naturally to you, but you’re changing the first diapers.”
I laugh softly to not disturb my daughter when there is a knock on the door. Charlotte comes on in and pulls herself up on the bed.
“Be careful with mummy, she has a sore tummy.’ I warn however her attention is glued to the baby in my arms. I take a seat and introduce her to her sister first and then her brother.
“I’m a big sister.”
“You sure are.”
“They’re so wrinkly.” She crunches up her nose.
My phone dings with a message from Alannah pulling me out of my daydream. I read her text letting me know Flynn and Rachael and their families are coming over for lunch on Sunday. I changed my phone’s background photo only yesterday and I can’t help but chuckle at it. It’s our most recent family photo which was taken last Christmas, it has quickly become one of my favourites, it just so happened to be taken at the exact moment when Kyle gave a loud and smelly burp and it caught everyone’s reaction to it.