I stopped by and paid the lot rent for another month at the end of last week. Michael, the camp host, gave me the side eye when he noticed Dante in the car out front, but he didn’t say anything as he took the envelope of cash from my hand.
I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. Ares is hesitant about telling their community we are a true Infinity until he knows what my mom was hiding from me, and what she was hiding me from. So, I still feel like a dirty secret. I understand the reasoning behind his motives, but every time there’s someone around, I’m unsure how to act. It’s not just at school, either. Mia is always here, and then there are the other people coming and going all the time who either work with or for Ares. He mostly holes up in his office when I leave for school—running interference so we can get out of the house with no one knowing I’m with them. It’s all way too cloak and dagger for me.
Secretly, or maybe not even so secretly anymore, I hate that Mia is still in the house with us. I’ve grown used to the idea that my place is with them, and my instincts tell me she has no place among us. The thought of her alone all day with Ares invokes a feeling of territorialism I was completely unfamiliar with until I met my guys. It is even worse than it was with Delaney because I’ve seen Ares with Mia. As badly as I felt for Delaney when I thought she and Dante were together, he was always so dismissive of her, and still is. It’s the opposite with Mia and Ares, he has a genuine fondness for Mia—it’s as clear as day when they’re around each other. He listens when she talks, and he’s relaxed when she’s around.
Though I see the differences in the way he behaves toward Mia and toward me, I know she has feelings for him that go far beyond friendship. It’s in the way she always finds a reason to stand next to him, in the way her eyes follow him even when there’s no real reason for her to do so.
I can’t say I blame her. Ares is darkly attractive. He has a way about him that makes you crave his attention. I think it has something to do with his powers. I’ve felt the way he influences feelings and emotions since we first met. I don’t think he’s even aware of the fact that his secrets pull you in, so you want to know more about him.
Wiggling a bit, I take a deep breath and blow it out my nose. There’s nothing I can do to solve anything right now. It’s not like lying in the dark will give me some answers to where my mom is; nor is it going to help fight my new territorial behavior.
Clearing my thoughts, I pull forward the ritual I use to fall asleep when my mind won’t shut off. I build my forever home. I start with a large piece of property. It’s nothing I’ve ever seen in real life—more like an amalgamation of several places I’ve seen or wanted to see over the years. There’s a wooded area that offers cool shade during the hot months. A running creek that leads to a large pond just past the view of an older farm house. In the background, I can see waves of green corn stalks taller than my head. I take myself to where I know the house should sit.
Every time I build it, I change it a bit. The past few times I’ve done this, the house has taken on a striking resemblance to the house I’m sharing with the guys. I used to change it to fit my mood, sometimes I’d have a super modern interior, filled with high-tech gadgets, others I’d stay true to the exterior and keep it rustic. In my mind’s eye, I slowly craft a wide front door. The wood is dark with two matching windows on either side, framing it. The front porch is next, it spans the whole front of the house. As I collect rooms to add to my imaginary house, I let the thoughts keeping me awake fall away.
Chapter 5
With blurry eyes, I stumble to the bathroom when Ollie’s alarm sounds. I barely remember being woken up last night to come back downstairs. I don’t think I even walked. I remember the feel of Milo’s t-shirt against my cheek and his fresh-from-the-shower smell, but not much else.
I had to climb over Ares to get out of bed, but he barely stirred—he sleeps so deeply. He says it’s new, somehow related to sharing a bed with me. I’m happy that he sleeps so well now, but honestly, it freaks me out sometimes, too. I feel like there are times when he might not wake up at all.
I flip the shower on and handle my morning business, and by the time I’m done brushing my teeth, the water is piping hot when I get under the spray. I revel under the water for a long minutes before soaking my hair, so I can wash and condition it. I love the way the products smell, it’s the same scent all the guys use, so all day long, even when I’m not with them, I get subtle hints of them.
A few sharp raps on the door tell me I’ve been in here longer than intended. “Sorry, almost done.” I shut off the water immediately and towel dry. I’m not sure who else will need the shower this morning. After wrapping the towel around my body, I realize much too late that I didn’t grab my clothes this morning in my haste to get into the bathroom. “Damn it,” I curse under my breath as I poke my head out the door, hoping the room has miraculously become empty in the last few seconds.
Ollie and Milo are in various stages of readiness. Ollie is tugging a tight, fitted, grey thermal over his head, his flat stomach still visible. The sight gives me pause. He’s leaner than the other guys, but no less appealing. A throat clears to my right, and my cheeks blaze red having been caught staring. Milo raises his brows, but he has a light smirk on his face.
“Did you need something?” Ollie offers when the shirt finally falls into place.
Turning my attention back to him, red face and all, I bite my lip. “I forgot my clothes again,” I say as a way of explanation. I’ve done this several times. When I used to shower at the campsite, it would always be such a big ordeal. I’d plan my showers depending on the lighting situation, plus I always had to take my shower caddy with me. Here it’s just so convenient I’ve gotten kinda lazy and indulgent.
Ollie rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Just wrap up in a towel. I’m almost done. You?” he asks as he turns to Milo, who nods his head.
“I am.”
I tighten the towel over my chest, the cold air from the room making me shiver.
“Come on,” Milo beckons with a wave of his hand while he turns to gather something from the bed.
Pushing the door open, I tiptoe over to the wall of closets. I know my rump is covered, but that doesn’t stop me from pushing my hands over the towel back there anyway. A low whistle rends the air. I know it’s Ollie before even turning around. He couldn’t pretend to be a gentleman if his life depended on it.
With narrowed eyes I peer over my shoulder in his direction, but his hands are raised in innocence, and he points to the door where Dante is standing, unapologetically staring at me. “And to think I could have missed this.” He leans on the doorframe, ready to take in a show that I’m not planning to give.
Still surprised the whistle came from him, I move into the closet. My whole body is warm now, and it has little to do with the temperature. A small place inside me likes the way it feels to know all three of them had their eyes on me.
Putting those thoughts out of my head, I grab a silky pair of black panties from the built-in dresser. When the clothes first started coming, I objected. I didn’t like the thought that they felt the need to take care of me, but after talking with them, and seeing that they do treat any need as a whole for the group, acceptance came much easier. A few times a week I’ll find a new shirt or dress hanging with my clothes. I don’t know who keeps buying the dresses and skirts, but there’s no way I’m wearing them to school. I tried to tell them it’s a waste, but no one even admitted to buying them.