Rosa and her men are all on a couch across from my chair and they look completely at ease with each other, something I envy at this stage of our relationship. Before I can ponder too hard what it was like for them when they first met, Ares pipes up, “Who was Leon?”
Rosa closes her eyes but takes a deep breath. “Until recently I haven’t thought about this in years.” William places his hand over Rosa’s, and she gives him a small smile in return. “I met Amanda by chance. I had taken Ares to the park one day, and there was this lovely young girl there. She was with a little boy herself. I still didn’t have very many girlfriends here, especially one with a little boy. We chatted while the boys played, and by the end of the afternoon we had exchanged numbers and planned to meet again in a few days.”
“Who was the little boy?” I can’t help but ask. Do I have an older brother out there somewhere?
“I think his name was Teddy, it turns out she was just babysitting him for the summer while she was out of school, but we met up a few more times for playdates with the boys.” The emotion that filters through me isn’t quite relief, but it’s something close. I don’t know how I would handle finding out my mother hid even more from me.
“I don’t remember him,” Ares mutters.
“Well, you were young; you only played with him a few times before Amanda confessed to me that she was a Synergist.” Rosa looks to the left, a frown falling over her features. “She had heard Ares talking about his papas—as in two—and asked if I had remarried. I didn’t want to lose her friendship, but I wasn’t willing to lie either, so I told her I had two husbands. Her face lit up, and she asked me if I were in an Infinity.” Rosa’s lips lift with a small smile.
“After that I knew why I was always drawn to her, our lives aren’t always easy—especially when outsiders judge us. That’s why so many groups choose to settle close together, so we have people around us we can share our lives with who won’t judge us.”
“So, she knew what she was?”
Rosa looks over at me, her eyes shrewd. “Yes, of course.”
“Laura’s mother never told her what she was, never told her about Infinities,” Dante announces, brushing his hand over my back.
“But…” Rosa opens her mouth, her words failing her.
“My mom was… withdrawn at best, paranoid to say the least. She seemed to get worse as I got older. I wasn’t allowed to have friends, or to do anything that would draw attention to myself. We moved around a lot, and it got to the point where she never even left the RV.” I sigh as guilt for thinking she was crazy eats at me. If she would have only talked to me, told me the truth… I don’t even know if I would have believed her. I probably would have thought it was just her delusions. Ares makes his way over to the chair, taking up a seat on the opposite arm of his brother.
“She probably thought she was protecting you,” William adds.
“She always told me that there were bad people, people we were hiding from, but she never told me who. She made it like a game when I was little, but as I got older, I thought she had problems, you know…” I look down, not meeting any of their gazes. “Like mental problems, but I still loved her. I took care of her,” I defend, but I can’t even convince myself. Did I try hard enough; listen to her enough?
“We know you love her, Cara, no one blames you for not knowing.” I let Ares’s words settle over me, but they’re not true. I blame myself. I should have tried harder to understand her.
“If there is anyone to blame, it would be me,” Rosa tells me, looking right into my eyes. “I’m the one who convinced her to upload her information in the database; I’m the reason Leon found her.”
Mal objects immediately and argues, “Rosa, you couldn’t have known. Finding your Infinity is a blessing, you were trying to help her.”
“Well, look how that turned out.” I can hear the beginning of tears in her voice, but none fall from her eyes. Rosa’s back is straight as she looks at me like she’s ready to accept any punishment I have to give.
I look away. Could things have been different if she hadn’t interfered? I shake away the question as soon as it forms, there’s no point in dwelling on the what-ifs.
“Why don’t you tell us about the real person to blame for this, Leon.” Ares leans down and grabs my fingers, placing them on his thigh.
“Leon Whitmore,” Rosa says the name like it tastes bad. I expect to feel something hearing his name, but I don’t. It’s no more familiar than any stranger’s. “He took less than twenty-four hours to track Amanda down after we uploaded the information about her and her identifier.” Rosa pulls her hand out from under William’s. “At the time, we thought it was amazing. Amanda had only turned sixteen a few months earlier, and here she was finding one of her partners. Leon was older, already in his early twenties, from a well-established family out West.” Rosa stands then, like she can’t bear to talk about this while she’s sitting.
Walking over to the fireplace, she sets her fingers on the high mantle and looks into the empty hearth. “Amanda was smitten with Leon the moment she laid eyes on him, we all were.” She looks over at her pair with a sad smile on her lips. “He seemed to be just as taken with her. I was sad that I was losing my new friend, but we made promises to talk to each other, even visit since her family was still near.”
“I have a family?” I can’t keep the shock from my tone, and maybe even a little hope is there, too. Maybe Mom is with them.
Rosa’s shoulders fall, “You did, bella ragazza.”
“Jesus Christ,” Milo curses from the couch, his hands balled into fists over his thighs.
“What happened to them?” My voice sounds detached, but I can’t help it. Until this moment I never even let myself believe in the possibility of a family. If we had them, then surely we would have been with them.
“Leon.” Rosa spits the one word like it’s enough of an explanation.
Mal looks over at Rosa then leans forward so his elbows are on his knees. “Amanda stopped returning Rosa’s calls,” he tells me, saving Rosa from speaking. “We didn’t think too much of it at first. They were newly paired, and it can be overwhelming at first.” He looks away clearing his throat.
“Anyway, after a few weeks with no word from Amanda, Will and I tried to get hold of Leon to see if we could get the girls together for a visit or something. Leon took our call, but he was… dodgy.” Mal looks over at William who nods in agreement.
“He said it wasn’t a good time, that Amanda had a lot going on with setting up their new house and getting to know everyone out there. We didn’t like it, but we accepted it. We knew it would make Rosa sad, but what could we do?”
“Time passed, and I made new friends—Linda and Carolyn were new to the area, so I lost track of my old friend.” Rosa’s words are edged with guilt and I can hear the regret in her voice. She turns to face me then, her eyes wide, and she twists her hands together. “I should have known something was wrong.”
In the next second, Mal is up from the couch with his arms wrapped around Rosa’s shoulders. William watches them, longing in his eyes, but instead he turns to face me. He’s letting Mal comfort Rosa so he can tell me more of the story. Voice pitched low, like he might spare Rosa from hearing, he says, “What we didn’t know, was that Leon had tried to get his and Amanda’s information removed from the directory. He didn’t want to have a pair, but it was too late. There was another man, Wyatt, who had already found the information.” I squeeze Ares’s hand as I sit forward on my seat.