The bouncer squinted at it and nodded.
There was no one near the exit except for a handful of cabbies smoking and chatting by their cars. Farrah gulped in a breath of fresh air.
Blake faced her. “You’re not acting like yourself.”
“Neither are you. You’re acting like a dick.”
“I’m acting like a dick? You chewed me out for trying to help you!”
“I told you I don’t need your help.”
Blake’s nostrils flared. “Fine. My bad. Go make out with that guy. In fact, go have wild monkey sex and swing from the chandeliers. See if I care.”
“You do.” The words slipped out before Farrah could stop them.
“Excuse me?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “You do care, or you wouldn’t have pulled him away from me.” Maybe she was reading too much into things again. Maybe not. The crisp fall air cleared the fog in her head enough for her to realize Blake was not acting the way a normal friend would act when he saw her kissing someone else. “Why?”
Blake stiffened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about why you’re so worked up about who I hook up with.”
“I’m not!”
“You’re yelling!”
“I’m not yelling!” he yelled louder. “I—” Blake rubbed his face. His shoulders slumped. “Fuck.”
“Tell me.” Farrah’s heart raced like she was on the edge of the jumping platform again, ready to fall. She was going down a dangerous path, but maybe, just maybe… “Why do you care?”
“Maybe it’s the same reason you care,” Blake said quietly. “Why all the questions about Mina tonight?”
Farrah’s head pounded in time with her pulse.
They stared at each other, the air between them heavy with words neither wanted to say. “Because.” She licked her lips. Her mouth was so dry it didn’t help. “Blake, I…”
“I love you.”
Farrah’s breath caught in her throat. Giddiness bubbled up inside her. Did he say—
“I love you like a sister, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
The giddiness collapsed. “You love me like a sister,” she repeated numbly.
Sister. Worse than friend. Worse than enemy. Those things, under the right conditions, could morph into something more. “Sister” was untouchable.
Blake didn’t see her as a romantic or sexual prospect at all. Why should he, when he had girls like Mina waiting in the wings? Girls who were beautiful and experienced and looked like a cross between Megan Fox and a young Angelina Jolie. How could Farrah compete with that?
She couldn’t, and she didn’t want to.
Farrah lifted her chin. She’d be damned if she let herself pine over someone who didn’t want her back.
She got over Leo. She’d get over Blake.
“Good to know,” she said. To her relief, her voice came out even. “I’m glad we got that sorted out.” She turned to reenter the club when Blake grabbed her arm.
“Farrah, you are—” Blake stopped and swallowed. He looked tortured, as if there was a war raging inside him. “I don’t—”
“You don’t have to say anything else. I understand.” Farrah extricated herself from his grasp and resumed her walk into the bar. She blinked back the burning sensation behind her eyelids. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a friend’s birthday to celebrate.”
Farrah didn’t know if Blake followed her. She didn’t look back to check.
Chapter Fourteen
Blake kept an eye on the ground as he picked his way up a steep slope of crumbling stairs. There were no handrails, and while he may not have a life plan yet, he knew it didn’t include tumbling off the Great Wall of China.
FEA arrived in Beijing yesterday for their big fall semester trip. After a short night’s rest, the laoshis hustled them to the Great Wall this morning. Instead of going to Badaling or Mutianyu—the most touristy and therefore easiest-to-navigate sections of the Wall—they were hiking from Jinshanling to Simatai by foot. No cable cars, just steep stairs and more vertical climbs than Blake cared for.
On a normal day, Blake could’ve completed the hike in three hours instead of the usual four, but he was so distracted he lagged behind his friends, even Kris.
Well, not all of his friends.
Blake reached the next watchtower and drank from his water bottle. He watched Farrah out of the corner of his eye as she inched her way up the stairs toward him, her face pink with exertion.
She stumbled on a loose stone and pitched forward. Blake’s heart stopped. He reached out to help her, but Farrah regained her balance and scrambled up the rest of the stairs.
Blake’s heartbeat returned to normal.
“Are you ok?” he asked.
“Yeah.” Farrah brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.
It was the first word she’d said to him in six days (not that he was counting). She’d avoided him since Macau, and he didn’t blame her. He’d acted like a dick that night.
Farrah brushed past him and hauled herself through the watchtower window onto the next stretch of the wall. Blake followed suit. He waited until they edged across the narrow path beneath the watchtower and reached the broader main section before he spoke.
“So, how are you liking the hike?” He winced the instant the words left his mouth. Lame.
“Fine.”
Blake tried a different tack. “Have you been to Beijing before?”
“No.”
“It’s an interesting city.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Heard the laoshis are serving us poisonous mushrooms for dinner tonight.”
“Great.”
Blake groaned. “Farrah.”
“What?”
“Talk to me.”
“I am talking to you.”
Multiple words. That was an improvement. “Look, I know I acted like an asshole last week. I’m sorry.” Blake stumbled over the last word because he’d still tear that guy’s arm off if he had the chance.
The image of Farrah and Douchebag making out flashed through his mind. Blake’s jaw clenched.
He wasn’t sorry about tearing Douchebag away from her. He was sorry about the way he treated Farrah. He’d been hopped up on his own issues and jealousy and took them out on her.
Plus, that bit about loving her like a sister? Complete bullshit.
If Blake thought about Joy the way he thought about Farrah, he was in for some serious hell in the afterlife.
“Apology accepted.”
Silence fell.
Blake struggled to come up with the right words to say. Farrah walked beside him, yet she was so distant he expected her to slip through his fingers and fade into the air at any moment.
They passed through the next few watchtowers without a word. Slope after slope, one step after another.
After an hour, they stopped to rest. Farrah sank onto the ground. “You can go ahead,” she said. “You don’t have to stay with me.”
“I want to.”
Farrah slid a puzzled glance in his direction before turning to survey the landscape. Blake followed her gaze. It was a scene he’d seen multiple times in pictures, but nothing compared to the real thing. Not even close.