Blake’s stomach twisted with guilt. “I know. I’m sorry. Things have been kinda crazy.”
“It’s all right, dear, as long as you promise to call more often. Now tell me about these ‘crazy things’ you’ve been up to.”
Blake filled his mom in on his classes, friends, and favorite places in the city. He hesitated before adding, “I’ve been seeing someone in the program. Her name’s Farrah.”
He tensed in anticipation of his mom’s response. She’d been planning his and Cleo’s wedding since they were toddlers, and she took their breakup hard. He had no idea how she’d react to this news.
Helen’s eyebrows shot up. “How long have you been seeing her?”
“A few weeks.”
“And this is the first I’m hearing of her?” There was that rebuke again. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What’s she like?”
“She’s amazing. Beautiful, smart, funny. When I’m around her, I…” Blake’s voice trailed off. Just thinking about Farrah made him giddy as a schoolboy. He’d turned into one of those sappy boyfriends he used to make fun of. “I dunno. I feel great.”
“She sounds lovely.” Helen paused. “Where is she from?”
“L.A.”
“I see.”
Warning bells rang in his head. “Why do you sound relieved?”
“I’m not relieved.” Helen’s guilty expression said otherwise. “I’m glad you’re having fun in Shanghai. It’s a good break from…everything that happened this past year. Hopefully, once you’re home, you’ll be ready to set everything straight.”
The warning bells rang louder. “What is ‘everything’?”
“Oh, you know. This whole football business with your father, and your relationship with Cleo. It’s a shame you won’t be coming home for Thanksgiving. She’s bringing her famous mac ’n cheese. I know how much you love that dish.”
Blake took a deep, controlled breath. “There’s nothing to sort out. I’m done with football, and Dad will have to get it over it. As for Cleo, we’re not getting back together.”
“Of course you are. You love her,” Helen said. “I understand you needed a break to clear your head, but the two of you are meant to be. You’ve been friends since you were children.”
“That’s all we are, Mom. Friends.”
“You dated for a year!”
It was a mistake, Blake wanted to say. He should’ve known better than to cave to his family’s expectations. They were the ones who’d wanted him to date Cleo. He did love her—just not in the way they wanted him to. If he had any doubt before, his relationship with Farrah cleared it up. The feelings he had for Cleo at the height of their relationship didn’t come close to his feelings for Farrah now. “Yes, and I realized we’re better off as friends.”
Helen pinched her temple. “This Farrah girl…”
“I love her.”
The words spilled out without thought. Helen’s jaw dropped.
Meanwhile, Blake’s heart raced with adrenaline at the admission. Neither he nor Farrah had broached the L word yet. He should’ve been terrified—love was the ultimate commitment. But he wasn’t. Because if he was being honest, he’d known deep down he was in love with Farrah long before he said the words out loud.
He’d been falling in love with her, bit by bit, since the moment they met.
It wasn’t scary.
It was inevitable.
“Oh, honey.” Helen sighed. “You’ve known her for what? Three months? I know it must be exciting, being in a foreign country and all, but you have to be practical. She lives in L.A.; you live in Texas. Long-distance relationships are difficult. Meanwhile, Cleo is right here. She stood by you through everything, including after you quit the team.”
“Maybe I don’t want to stay in Texas.”
Once again, the words slipped out.
Blake had never considered moving out of Texas. That’s where his family and friends were. No one he knew left the state for good. However, now that he’d floated the possibility, the idea seemed more and more appealing.
He could go anywhere. New York, L.A. Hell, he could move to Shanghai if he wanted to.
The adrenaline kicked up another notch.
Helen paled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous. I graduate soon. I don’t have to stay in Texas like everyone else.”
“Where are you going to go? How will you afford it?”
Blake repeated Farrah’s mantra. “I’ll figure it out.”
His mom was at her wit’s end. “Why don’t you speak to your father? I’m sure he’ll have some thoughts about this.”
Blake bet he would.
Helen turned her head toward the living room. “Joe! Blake wants to talk to you.”
“No! Mom—”
Too late.
Helen stood up to make way for Blake’s father.
Fuck.
“So.” Joe Ryan sat and pinned his piercing gaze on Blake. Older and world-wearier, with wrinkles. Otherwise, Joe looked the same as when he was Blake’s age. The same thick blond hair—thank god Blake didn’t have to worry about balding when he was older—the same blue eyes and square jaw, the same gruff, determined expression.
“So.”
Silence.
“How’s China?” Joe looked like he would rather be anywhere but here.
That made two of them.
“Fine.”
Blake’s response earned him a stern glare. “Try again with a real answer.”
Blake bit back a caustic reply. Instead, he gave his father a quick rundown of the semester. He omitted the details he gave his mom and focused on his classes. He didn’t need his father giving him shit about going out when he should be “getting his life together.”
“What about outside of class? What are you doing?”
“Hanging out.”
Another withering stare. “You’re telling me we paid thousands of dollars for you to fly across the world and hang out?” Joe’s face twisted like the words left a bad taste in his mouth.
Blake gripped his laptop so hard he was surprised it didn’t crack. “There’s the matter of my classes, which I just mentioned,” he said, struggling to remain calm. “Cultural exchange, foreign language learning. You know, small stuff.”
“How useful is that going to be? I didn’t swan off to another country when I was in college and I turned out fine.”
Yeah, if you consider being a bitter old man who lives vicariously through his son “fine.”
“What I want to know is what you’re going to do when you come back.” Joe drummed his fingers on the table. “You’re graduating this year. Did you think about that? Or are you so busy running around Shanghai that you haven’t given a single thought to your future since you threw it away?”
“I did not throw my future away.” Blake’s jaw clenched with a mixture of fear and irritation. “I have—I will have—a business degree.”
“That degree is a formality. When was the last time you did anything business-related?”