As if reading his mind, Ginny grew more serious. “Anyway, we didn’t try that one again. There was a gazillion other ways that we tried without involving itching.”
“And because of games you played when you were younger, you think we have a connection between us?”
“I can understand you thinking we were just being silly children. I thought so, too, until I grew older and started going to school, and I lost Leah. I never outgrew the feeling that someone special was waiting for me.” As she talked, her gaze never wavered from his, opening the gates of emotions she had gone through as a young girl.
“I never had the school crushes that the other girls had. At first, I thought I was just shy where boys were concerned. Then, when I didn’t have the same shyness with girls, I began to think maybe I was attracted to girls. I was scared and confused, but deep down, I knew what was making it so hard for me. A part of me was missing—my soul mate. The older I got, it became worse. Boys were uncomfortable to be around or get close to. I felt like I was cheating on you.” Ginny gave a bittersweet laugh. “Don’t you find that hilarious?”
Actually, he didn’t.
Reaper tried not to cringe away. He had been living his best life, bed-hopping from one woman to the next, then got engaged to Taylor. From the mocking undercurrent of her question, she was aware that being faithful to a young girl, who he hadn’t even been aware existed, was the furthest thing from his mind.
Feeling guilty despite himself, and not liking the feeling, he jutted his jaw out belligerently. “If I don’t believe in soul mates now, I certainly didn’t when you were just a kid.”
“I’m wasting my breath, aren’t I?” Ginny slapped her hands down on the table to rise. “I need to take a shower before we leave.”
“Ginny ….”
Angrily, she slammed her hands down on the table again, looking down at him. Reaper was glad she was across the table.
“Don’t Ginny me! I’m not upset you didn’t know about me back then, but you do now, and despite what you’re feeling, you’re pretending it doesn’t exist.”
“I don’t feel a damn thing for you!” he yelled, getting to his feet and bringing his hands to the table. They stood like two adversaries, vehement at not yielding to the other.
“You’re lying. I know you are!”
The steam went out of him. “I’m not. I don’t want to hurt you—”
She dropped her hands from the table. “Too late, because you have.” She stared him down. “How wonderful for you that you believe that. It would make it a lot easier for me if I could lie to myself like that. I can’t, though.” Reaching across the table, Ginny snapped his computer closed.
“I’m about to give you a real good laugh. You sure you don’t want to sit back down?”
“I’m good,” he snapped back.
The fury pouring off her should have warned him, but Reaper was too appreciating of the fiery sparks coming from her. Color highlighted her cheeks and her breathing had her breasts thrusting out. Slinging tumbled hair away from her face, she reminded him of a wildcat about to pounce.
Pure lust rushed through his body like a tidal wave, making him dizzy. The shock had him grabbing the sides of the table, but Ginny didn’t notice the effect she was having on him.
“A couple of times, I could have sworn you were so close, then it would go away, and then I’d feel it again.” Ginny raised her hand to snap her fingers. “Then suddenly, nothing. I couldn’t feel you anymore. It just felt as if there was a deep sadness in my heart, just like when Leah and Pa died, but worse. So much worse. Has anyone you loved died?”
His face twisted. “My fiancé.”
“She didn’t die!” Ginny yelled.
He clenched his jaw. “Shut the fuck up!”
“No, I won’t! When I couldn’t feel you, I thought you had died in an accident or gotten sick. The only solace I had was that I thought you were with God. It didn’t make me feel better, but I told myself you were in a beautiful place with angels singing to you until it was time for me to join you there.” Her face twisted in pain, mirroring his. “I know. Crazy, right? That’s some of the shit I went through.
“Do you have any concept of how I felt when you walked out onto that patio and I saw you and found out who you were? To realize you were Viper’s brother, and you were the one who had been kidnapped for all those years? All the years that I laughed with my friends, went to movies, and lived a normal life when you were kept from the people you loved?” Ginny took a shuddering breath.
“Don’t expect me to stand here and keep my mouth shut about what I feel for you after you lost years of your life and the what-might-have-beens. Do me a flipping favor and call Viper; ask him if he loves you and see what he says. Better yet, call any of The Last Riders and see what they say!” Her voice dropped down to a lower octave. “After you do that”—Ginny reached across the table for his cell phone, using her fingers in a quick flick to send it skittering across the wood where it came to a stop against his hand—“then call Taylor and ask her.”
Numbly, Reaper made no move to pick up the phone. He didn’t have to call; he already knew how they would respond. Everyone, even all the hardened brothers, would tell him exactly that—that they loved him. He also knew Taylor’s answer.
“And while you listen to the woman you think you loved … who wore your ring …”
Lifting his eyes from the phone, the stark pain he witnessed in her eyes nearly bowled him over in pain.
Tapping the side of her forehead, as if she wanted to pound some sense into his head, she continued, “… I want you to keep one thought front and center.” She dropped her hand limply to her side. “Which woman would you trust to always be by your side? The woman you almost married or the one you met just a few days ago? Then see if you can lie about that to yourself so easily.”
Reaper was left standing as she departed, waiting until she was out of sight before sinking down onto the chair and burying his face in his hands.
There wasn’t one part of what she had told him that hadn’t rung true. Logically, he knew the soul mate crap didn’t exist, but to her, it was real. And regardless of how many times he played back the day at the pool, it had the same impact on him. Was he ever going to admit that to her? He couldn’t. The lie, as badly as it hurt her, was preferable to the truth.
During their argument, he’d had to keep the table between them, too experienced with women not to recognize the desire she had to hold and touch him. He should have told her …
You can’t hold ashes.
Chapter Fifteen
“You don’t want to wear the dress I bought?”
Sitting quietly in the chair of Ginny’s dressing table, Reaper pretended to scroll indolently through his phone as Ginny went through the clothes that had been destroyed by the stalker.
“I spent an entire day searching for this,” Kimmy argued, lifting a navy blue, leather dress off a rack. “It’ll go perfectly with the dark outfit that Kaden is wearing for the duet at the end of the show.”