Hmm. Maybe if I tell them the truth, they’d make this easier on all of us.
“Stop it,” I said, stepping out from between them, causing them both to look to me. “I don’t…I can’t. I can’t do this anymore.”
It was Mason who asked, “Can’t do what?”
Calum stayed quiet, his blue eyes heavy on me.
I gestured between them. “This. You. Both of you. I can’t—I just can’t do it anymore.” I fumbled over my words like an expert, sounding ridiculous and stupid, and I hated it, just like I hated what I was about to say. “I like you both, and I know you’ll both want me to choose. I can’t.”
Uh-oh. Here come the tears again. I tried to bite them back, tried to stave them off before they started to fall again. I needed to say this, and I needed both guys to believe me when I said it. This was me being one hundred percent serious; this wasn’t me exaggerating or trying to see what the guys would say in response.
This was me giving up.
“I won’t,” I said, taking a step away from them as I wriggled my way out of Mason’s hoodie. I tossed it at him, and he caught it, looking at me like I was insane. “So I think it’s best if I just…stop seeing you both.”
“Bree—” Mason started, and Calum was much the same, for he spoke, “No—”
But I was having none of it. I held up my hand, turned on my heel, and hurried back to the house, before the cool night air could swallow me whole. Saying goodbye to them both had been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do in my life, but it needed to be done. It was more than obvious I could never be what they wanted, and choosing one over the other just wasn’t in the cards for me.
I loved them both, so I’d let them go. They’d be happier without me.
Neither Mason nor Calum came after me. I shut the front door and locked it, and I stood there, waiting for them to leave, for a little while. Both of my men—though they weren’t mine anymore—stood outside for too long, so eventually I gave up and headed upstairs, buried myself in my blankets and pillows, and tried to sleep.
Sleep would not come on this night. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just made the worst mistake of my life.
Chapter Seventeen – Mason
Seeing Calum kiss Bree was not something I enjoyed, but after what Bree just said, after watching her walk away, the jealousy in me had faded, replaced by something else. Confusion? Disbelief? I didn’t know.
All I knew was that I had to get that girl back, had to make her believe that I truly did care for her so damn much.
I loved her. I did. I really, really did. It had snuck up on me, but now, after hearing what she’d said, I felt hollow inside with the possibility she wouldn’t be in my life anymore. How could anyone want that?
That was why, after a few minutes of incredulous silence, I turned to look at the man standing beside me, at the man who wore an expression mirroring mine. I’d been jealous of Calum from the start, but…but Bree really did seem to care for him, to need him. When I’d arrived, I’d never seen her look so depressed.
“Hey,” I said, causing him to snap those blue eyes at me. He and I never really spoke much, but…maybe that should change. “Since you’re already in town, you want to come over and talk?” I glanced at the house, knowing Bree was in there, thinking she’d successfully pushed us both away.
I didn’t know why she was so adamant about it, but I intended to prove her wrong.
“This isn’t over,” I whispered, mostly to myself.
It wasn’t long before Calum said, “Yeah. Let’s go. It’s clear we can’t go on like this. I’ll follow you.” He said nothing else as he got into his car, and I headed for mine, not bothering to put the hoodie back on.
I drove us to my place, clutching the hoodie hard as I led him up to my door and let us in. Though it was late and I had an early class in the morning—psych with Bree—the last thing I wanted to do was sleep. Calum and I had to figure something out. We had to, for our sake, and for Bree’s.
“You want anything to drink?” I asked.
Calum had his hands in his jacket’s pockets, gazing around my place with a pensive expression. “No, I’m good.”
I nearly collapsed on the couch when I reached it, still holding onto the hoodie, refusing to let it go. Calum was slow to sit on the other end of the couch, leaving a whole cushion between us. He and I weren’t close; we weren’t even acquaintances, but for Bree…for Bree, maybe we could put everything else aside and just focus on her.
“So,” Calum started, running his palms along his knees, as if he was sweating.
“So,” I said, leaning back on the couch, wishing Bree was here with us. But she wasn’t, and that’s why we were here to begin with. “You like her?” I didn’t know why I asked; one look at his face, and anyone with eyes could tell he did. I just…I guess I needed to hear it for myself.
He replied without hesitation: “I do. What about you?”
“I like her so much I’m in love with her.”
Calum let out a sigh, and he ran a hand down his face, frowning to himself. “Me, too.”
“She won’t believe us.” I knew that without a doubt, and yet I still did not want to give up on this girl. To throw her away, to let the feelings I had for her dwindle and die—it was the last thing I wanted to do. “Neither of us, I’m assuming, are willing to walk away?” I spoke it like a question, but it was more of a statement than anything.
I loved her, Calum loved her; a man in love did not willingly walk away from his girl. Not unless this was the movies and he was trying to keep her safe for some stupid reason you only found out at the end about. This wasn’t a movie, though. This was life, and it was so messy—so messy I contemplated doing something I never imagined doing.
Officially dating a girl while she also dated someone else.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Calum remarked, shooting a look at me.
Yep, that’s what I figured.
I turned to face him, meeting his azure stare as I started, “We both know Bree isn’t like anyone else. I think…I think she needs us both.” That girl needed love, reassurance, and she needed a lot of it. If I couldn’t be with her twenty-four-seven…I’d at least know she was being taken care of if she was with Calum.
Would I get jealous? Hell yeah, but that was something I could work on for her. It was something I was willing to try.
“Both?” Calum said, lifting a blonde brow. “You’re saying…we both date her? She said she didn’t want to choose—”
“Exactly,” I cut in. “So we don’t make her. We both date her, knowing she’s seeing someone else.”
“I don’t know. I…my last girlfriend cheated on me, so I don’t know if I could do that, not long-term.”
Well, at least Calum was honest. It was part of the reason I felt sure enough to say, “So then you’d walk away from her?”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “That’s not what I said.”
“It wouldn’t be cheating if you were aware and okay with it,” I told him. I’d never had a relationship with a girl who’d cheated; then again, I’d never dated a girl while she was simultaneously dating someone else, but for Bree…for Bree I was willing to go outside of my comfort zone, to wrestle with my jealousy and be there for her when she needed me.