“Maybe I’ve been on the job too long,” I say. “Before I joined the Bureau, I was with the SFPD. You had me worried all my supposedly ‘finely-honed’ investigative instincts had failed me. Which…after the day I’ve had… I’m starting to worry I shouldn’t be in this line of work.”
“Zoe, every single thing about you screams cop.” The music in the background quiets. “What happened when you went back to the office? If that demon was an ass to you—?”
“No. He actually wasn’t.” With a sigh, I curl my legs up and settle back against the pillows. “This is about me. I’m not…fuck. Dion, there’s something about me that isn’t human.”
I’ve cataloged every single line and whorl of the ornate cornices in Sin’s guest room, and I still can’t sleep. Talking to Dion helped, but it also highlighted just how “different” I am. She has all these amazing, vivid memories of her parents and sister, her first shift, even her high school prom. And me? I can barely remember my mother’s voice. Or getting my driver’s license. All those big life events that should have made an impact on me? That should have shaped who I am? They’re like faded photographs I can only see from a great distance, and that terrifies me.
My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since lunch. Sin’s been quiet for a few hours, and it’s late enough he’s probably asleep, so I pull on a robe I find in the closet and pad out to the kitchen for a piece of cold pizza.
The city sprawls out before me, bright lights, cars zipping through the streets, a few people far below dotting the sidewalks. And the water. San Francisco Bay stole my heart the first time I saw it. I know that as well as I know my own name, but…the memory of that day is fuzzy too. I know my grandmother was there, her hand on my shoulder. It was sunny. The wind whipped my curls into my eyes, stinging my cheeks.
“This is your home now, Zoe,” my grandmother had said. “Until the end. I will not always be here with you, but you are never alone.”
Tears burn the corners of my eyes. The easy friendship I’ve found with Dion? At the moment, it’s all that’s keeping me sane. Because the only other people in my life I trusted—my grandmother and Temple—they’re gone. Nana lied. I am alone.
Trudging back towards the guest room, I stop when I hear a low moan from the master suite. Then a loud thud. “Stop…please,” Sin slurs, and I don’t pause for a second before rushing into his room.
Oh, shit. He’s naked, huddled on the floor with his wings folded against his back. His eyes are closed, and I don’t think he’s awake, but he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet, reaching out for something he can’t seem to grasp.
“Do not…take her…”
Her. His Genevieve. An intense burst of jealousy prickles over my skin, but it vanishes as soon as he cries out again. “No!”
The anguish in his voice…it breaks my heart, and I drop to my knees to wrap my arms around him. “Sin. Wake up. It’s Zoe. Come back to me now. Please.”
His embrace threatens to crush my ribs, and I can’t breathe. “Sin,” I croak. “Sin!”
“Fuck.” He draws the word out, like he’s pouring all of his pain into the single sound, and shifts me closer, still holding just as tightly, but in such a way I’m no longer worried about passing out. “Zoe. Do not leave. Not again. Never again.”
“You’re not making any sense—“
“I will not survive losing you again.” He buries his face in my neck, inhaling deeply. “I understand now.”
“I don’t. Sin? What’s going on?” Wriggling back far enough I can meet his gaze, I beg him for answers, but he shakes his head like he’s just now realizing I’m here in his arms, despite saying my name.
“Stay with me,” he whispers, lifts me, and gently deposits me on the bed. “I need you close.”
I don’t have the heart—or the strength—to tell him I’m not going to have sex with him again. But when I try to scoot to the edge of the bed, he stops me, cupping my cheeks and kissing me. It’s not a demanding kiss. It’s a desperate one. Like he’s terrified I truly am going to disappear if he lets me go.
“Don’t try to glamour me,” I say against his lips. “It’s not right.”
“I will not. I cannot.” Warm fingers cup the back of my neck, and his eyes…they’re wild, but his irises are bright blue, honesty shining all the way down to his soul. “You are immune to my charms, Zoe Dawes. But I am afraid I have lost myself to yours.”
“I have no charms. Whatever I am, Sin…whatever powers I might have? I don’t know how to use them. I don’t think I ever will.”
“You are wrong, my sweet pearl. You will find them when you need them most. That is how it has always been. And when you do, I am afraid we will never have this,” he gestures between us, “again. Give me this night? Let me worship you like I have dreamed of. Let me show you how much I lo—how much I care for you.”
He turns his head, trying to prove to me he isn’t influencing me at all, and all I want is to see his eyes again. To feel his lips on mine. To be one.
I slide my fingers into his hair and gently turn his head so our gazes collide. “Show me, Sin. Show me everything.”
Twenty-Five
Sin
I must be dreaming. Zoe is curled against me, her hair tickling my nose. The scents of our coupling mix with watermelon and coconut, and I do not ever wish to move from this spot. She does not know yet. Who she is. Who she was. Who she will be once again.
But I do. And when the pieces all fell into place, I could not breathe from the weight of it all. I know what is coming for her. What she will try to do and what it will cost her. I will find a way to save her. I have to. What I do not know is whether she will forgive me. Or how much time we have until the end.
“Zoe. My love, wake up.” I cringe as I let my feelings for her slip through the wall surrounding my heart. As we came together for the third time in the early hours of the morning, I knew I could deny it no longer. I love her, and I always will.
If only Fate were not so cruel, conspiring to keep us apart. Even now, with Zoe naked in my bed, her lips swollen, her eyes sleepy, I can feel the distance between us growing. Once she accepts the truth of who she is, she will leave me. She will have no choice.
“Hmm?” She is still in that blissful state between asleep and awake where anything seems possible. Where one can choose to stay in their dreams just a bit longer or return to the real world.
Kissing her gently, I try to ease us both back into the world of dreams, but our phones ding simultaneously. Hers from the guest room, mine on the bedside table.
“Stay here,” I urge as I wrap my arm around her waist. “It’s the commander. We are being summoned.”
“Shouldn’t we go then?” Despite her words, she settles against me with a sigh, and I pick up my phone so we can both see the screen.
Another body turned up this morning. Corner of Castro and Pine. Get down there. Now.