I reach for my brother’s hand and hold on tight. “Mad, I have to do this. You understand why?”
He touches his forehead to mine. “I would do the same thing for Killian. And Sin, I forgive you.”
Commander Eve clears her throat. “Will someone explain to me why Sinclair appears to be saying his final goodbyes?”
I meet her gaze. “Because if I cannot rescue Zoe and bring her back with me, I am going to release my hold on the tether and let Hell take me.”
“You will do no such—“
“I will, Grayson. This is my mate. My one true love. We found each other in two lifetimes. Do you have any idea how rare that is? I will not lose her again. If I cannot be with her in this realm, I will suffer alongside her for all eternity.”
“Then you damn well better get her back,” she says. “Because you and I are going to have some serious words about following Bureau procedures when you return, and if you stay in Hell, I just might come down there after you to rip you a new one.” Her voice cracks, and she stalks away, leaving only my brother, his mate, and the angels to watch over me.
“Are you ready?” Killian asks.
I caress Zoe’s cheek, my tears, which I cannot seem to stop, giving her an ethereal glow, almost as if her angelic origins are shining through. “I will find you, my pearl. My one and only. Hold on. I am coming.”
Meeting Killian’s gaze, I nod. “Do it.”
The warlock draws a series of runes in the air, and they glow with his magic, like fireworks hovering six feet above the ground. He begins a low chant, his words too soft for me to hear, and the angels form a circle around us and join hands.
A thunderous crack is accompanied by a light so bright, it burns my eyes, and Killian shouts, “Sin! Get ready!”
The sensation of one’s soul being sucked from one’s body is indescribable. There is pain, of course, but also a loss so great, it dwarfs all but the most intense grief. It is nothing compared to what I felt when Zoe sacrificed herself, and I lean in to the physical and mental anguish, welcoming it, and letting go of my physical form so I can fall into the depths of Hell and rescue the only woman I have ever loved.
Thirty-Three
Sin
When I brought Thorn and Regina to Hell centuries ago, I held each of them in one arm and flew. For an angel, the Underworld is accessible only through a single passage on the way to the celestial realm. A detour, if you will. At least in corporeal form.
Now, I am nothing but consciousness, yet, as I watch myself sink into the fiery depths, I can still see my body. Not the distinct, solid form it has in the remains of the power station, but a hazy, diffuse existence, as if I am phasing in and out.
The angelic tether glows around my waist, and I run my fingers over it, feeling the power of those I never thought would help me again.
Fire surrounds me, setting my clothing ablaze, another surprise. How can I feel my leather jacket burning? The soles of my boots melting? My socks bursting into flames?
This is Hell, and anything is possible here.
I grit my teeth against the pain that is only in my mind, but feels every bit as real as when I offered my body to Lucifer in exchange for keeping the most vile demon in existence prisoner. The Devil owes me for his failure. One soul. Zoe’s. And I intend to collect on the debt.
Until I am faced with the sight—and sounds—of my failures. The women I let die, everyone Thorn drove mad with pain and fear to feed his insatiable appetites. They surround me, and it matters little that I know they are not real.
I falter, crying out in anguish as I press my hands to my eyes so I will not have to see. The images are too vivid. Too real. The stench of the underground caverns in Florence. Human waste. Blood. Terror. The feel of the lash against my back. Of the chains he used to bind me, and the iron bars beneath my feet.
Thorn's consciousness will be somewhere in the flaming river of blood. As I reach Phlegethon’s banks, I fall to my knees and beg for strength. I burned in these very waters for so long, and now, I feel as if I’m drowning yet again. Doubts creep into my thoughts. I failed Zoe twice. Perhaps I am not strong enough, not worthy of her love, of happiness, of any peace. My crimes are legion, and while I have paid for them a thousand times over, is it enough? Will it ever be enough?
The glow of the tether is fading. Killian warned me he did not know how long he could hold the spell. I should release it—and him. As I fumble for the knot, a desperate wail carries over the roar of the flames.
Zoe.
She is close. And her soul has not yet succumbed to madness. For when that happens, she will stop screaming.
I focus all of my energy on the sound of her voice and dive into the flames.
Zoe
Whatever I imagined before I pulled Thorn with me to the Underworld, the reality is infinitely worse. At my side, he writhes and curses the devil, fighting against the chains weighing us down, submerging us up to our necks in a river of fire and blood. My throat is raw, and my skin—despite my lack of a physical body—burns, regenerates, and burns again. Ash clogs my lungs, and when Thorn tires of railing at Lucifer, he turns to me, beating me, choking me, and trying to force my head beneath the surface.
It does not matter what he does. This is where we will spend eternity. But he can hasten my descent into madness, and despite how badly I wanted to live, I know I never will again. Seconds in Hell feel like a century, and when I close my eyes, I relive every moment this demon spent feeding off of others’ fear.
“Zoe!”
“No,” I wail. “Do not torment me with thoughts of him! This...this is enough. I accept my guilt. My sentence. I cannot endure a memory of true happiness!”
Lucifer is an asshole. Why else would he send me a vision of Sin racing for me, love shining in his blue eyes.
“Zoe, take my hand,” the vision says, and oh, how I want to. But this is a trick. A way for the devil to make my endless torment so much worse. “Zoe, my precious pearl, please. We have little time. I can save you!”
Next to me, Thorn tries to push me under again, and this time, I don’t fight him. The crackling, flaming waters swallow me, and the agony increases a hundred fold. Until a hand plunges beneath the surface and grabs my arm, pulling me up so I’m face to face with the memory of my one true love.
“You have a gift, Zoe. One that lets you see the truth in a person’s eyes. Look into mine now. See me,” the vision of Sin begs.
I can’t help it. I want so much to see him again that I do as he asks. Oh, my God. He’s here. His soul is in Hell, half-submerged in the flaming waters with me. “Sin?”
“Yes, my love. My Zoe. Give me your hands. There is still time.”
I show him the fiery shackle that locks me to Thorn. “I can’t. There’s nothing that can free me, Sin. Even if there were, we can’t leave. You should know this better than anyone...”
Sin grabs our wrists and pulls, but that only tightens the flaming metal and draws a hoarse whimper from my throat.
Rage consumes my lover’s eyes, and a red ring surrounds the sapphire blue. He’s weakening. “If you have a way out, Sin, take it. Now. Before it’s too late.”
“Lucifer!” he shouts. “You know she does not deserve this! Do something! I have the angels on my side. The Almighty’s blessing. If you stand in my way...”