It’s quick and then it’s over.
We walk back to the park in silence, and I’m close to a popsicle by the time we get to the car. I turn on the engine and blast the heater to high. Finn’s hands are in his lap and he stares at them as if his concentration might produce another Jonathon Livingston Seagull book.
“So, what did you tell her?”
He twists his head, peering at me. “I told her that her son saved my life. I told her that she may not need a thank you, but that I needed to give her one.”
We put the car in reverse and start back the way we came—back home. Finn watches out the window and I watch the road. I tick down his private list that I have memorized, all of the things he wants to do.
“Have you ever heard of winter ball?”
He shifts a glance at me. “Sure.”
I bite my inner cheek. “I thought we could go.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I say, shifting a glance at him. “I’d really like to dance with you, Finn Matthews.”
35
Finn looks ridiculously good in a suit—like the guy should start going to church on a regular basis good. Summer and Rodrick bought me a new dress. It’s long and flowy, and the same color as Finn’s eyes. Rodrick takes pictures of us with our friends, Ursula and Dominic, and James with Bethany, a girl I meet for the first time tonight. We pose and smile and say goodbye half a dozen times before they finally let us leave.
“We’ll see you guys there,” Finn tells them. “We’re going back to the store to take pictures for my mom.”
“We are?” Marley already took pictures.
“Yeah, do you mind?” he asks, his hand on my back.
I shake my head.
The store is dim when we get there though. “Are they upstairs?”
He pinches his mouth together and shrugs. “Actually, they went to a movie.”
“Okay, then why are we here?”
“I was hoping our first dance could be here.” His right eye twitches. “Is that hopelessly lame?”
“Not at all.” I laugh and set the clutch Summer bought me on the register counter. The counter is covered with flyers and one catches my eye—Washington State University. I look at a few more—University of California, University of Colorado, University of Utah. “What are these?”
He sets his phone on the table next to where my fingers tap the Washington State flyer. He scrolls through his playlists until he finds whichever one he’s wanting and presses play. A slow song without any words sings from the device. He takes my hand, pulling me closer to him. I snake my arms around his neck and we sway to the music.
“What is all that, Finn?”
“Just college flyers.”
My heart beats a little faster. “Are you going?” I assumed he’d do online schooling, like always. But that was never what he wanted to do.
“Maybe. Are you going?”
I look up at him, heart racing. I don’t know if I’m going. “I don’t have a lot of money saved,” is all I say.
“So, you’ll settle?” He grins down at me. “There are scholarships and loans. Do you want to go?”
I swallow and nod, but I don’t say anything. I never knew if I could and then I came here and I met Finn and I didn’t know if I wanted to. I just always imagined him here at the bookstore, and I realize this huge part of my not worrying about college was that. I didn’t want to leave him here, behind.
“Then you need to go,” he says. His jaw shifts with a nervous twitch. “Washington State has a great design program.”
The light from my window glows, the tomb of hearts sending shadows across the room. I stop in its obscurity and wind my fingers through Finn’s hair before pulling him down to me. I press my lips to his, his breath warm and sweet on my mouth. “I might love you, Finn.”
His lips on mine, broaden into a smile and he kisses me again. “I might love you back, dream girl.”
I go to bed with Harmony lying next to me under a pink blanket we’re calling a fort in her bedroom. Her small hand tangles with mine and her quiet snores hum in the dark room. I stare at the ceiling of our fort, thinking about my family and Finn, and a hundred other things I love.
I shut my eyes, spent from the day and the dance the night before, smiling and content as I drift off to sleep.
It’s so green—well except for the cherry trees covered in pretty white blossoms. They look like clouds floating in the sky, but within reach. And I can smell them, as if I held the blossoms in my hands. There’s a large brick building in the distance and crowds of people all over the grounds. The brick walkway stretches toward the impressive building yards away and off the main path are branches of smaller paths going every which way. I’m not exactly sure where I’m going—I can feel that. But it doesn’t stop me.
A pack weighs down my back and I adjust it on my shoulders. A warm hand—one that I’d know anywhere—slides into mine, interlacing our fingers. I turn to see him, but the sun shines behind his head and I have to blink in its light. I can’t see him clearly. But I feel him. He’s there, next to me, ready for an adventure. Right where he should be.