“I just want to talk to you.” When his nose continued to bleed, he wiped away the blood again.
“And say what?” I asked. “I told you I want nothing to do with you.”
“I thought you needed a few weeks to cool off.”
“Cool off?” I asked. “I’m not angry, Heath. I’m just indifferent to you.”
His eyes showed signs of pain, narrowing on my face like my words hurt more than the punch. “That’s not me. You know that’s not me. The man I am now is the man you’ve been with for months. That’s me.”
“If someone murders someone, gets away with it, and then becomes the Pope, does that mean it doesn’t matter that he killed someone decades ago?” I asked incredulously.
He sighed loudly. “I didn’t murder your father.”
“But you’re still a sick son of a bitch for trying.” I turned around to walk back to the table.
This time, he blocked my path with his size, but he didn’t actually touch me. “You know what I’ve been doing the last few weeks? I’ve been miserable. Fucking miserable. And I know you have too.”
“I’ve been fine,” I said with a straight face. “Absolutely fine.”
His nostrils flared. “You’re still angry, I get it.”
“I’m not angry. I just hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Why is that so hard to believe?” After what he did, it was the most appropriate feeling I should experience.
“It’s not that it’s hard to believe. It’s impossible to believe.”
I rolled my eyes. “Damien told me everything about that night, how the only reason my father is alive right now is because your brother owed him a favor. And I told him you threw me in a cage.”
“Did you tell him I let you out?”
“Yes. But again, doesn’t excuse what you did in the first place.” I tried to move around him.
He positioned himself in front of me. “Please.” His pupils contracted as he looked into my eyes. “I’ll do anything you want to make this right. I’ll step down as the Skull King. I’ll make any sacrifice you want me to make—”
“Okay, Romeo.” I held up my hand to shut him up.
His nostrils flared again.
“I don’t want you. It’s that simple.” I dropped my hand, needing him to understand my stance on the issue perfectly. “I’ll never want the man who did that to my own father. I’ll never want the man who’s harassed my brother. I’ll never want the man who didn’t have the balls to be honest with me. Do you get it?”
He looked more anguished now than he did when I walked out of his house. His breathing was deep and labored, like he wanted to grab the nearby table and break it in two. “Then, what’s your plan? To go back to the losers who don’t know how to please a woman? To be with some boring jackass who works in an office somewhere? To be with a plain man? To have a plain life? No, you deserve more than that.”
“Maybe I do. And I definitely deserve better than you.”
He dropped his gaze for a moment, like I’d hurt him again. “If I’m the only man you’ll ever love, there’s a reason for that. It’s because we’re supposed to be together. I don’t believe in fate and destiny, all that other bullshit you see in movies, but I believe that. You.” He pointed at me then pointed at himself. “Me. We’re supposed to be together.”
I shook my head. “If that’s true, then God must really hate me.”
“Don’t say that…”
“Please leave me alone, Heath.” I gave him a bored look, showing him just how little I cared about this conversation. “I’m over it. You tricked me, played me for a fool, hurt my brother again by hurting me, and I’m done with it. We’re all done with it.”
“I didn’t trick you… I love you.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do—”
“A man like you is incapable of love. You never would have touched my father if you weren’t completely evil.”
Seconds passed as he stared at me. “You’re right. I was incapable of love. Until I met you.”
“Wow, what a line.”
“I’m serious,” he snapped. “I swear to fucking god, the moment we met, the moment I laid eyes on you…I was different. I let you go because you were already inside my soul before we even crossed paths. I’m still fighting for you because I believe in that, whatever we had. I understand you’re angry and I understand if you need space, but I need you to work with me on this. Please.”
“No.” I stepped back. “Do I need to spell it out for you? N-O. No.”
He bowed his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
“It’s not a matter of forgiveness. It’s not a matter of letting the past go.”
He raised his head and looked at me.
“I don’t feel the same way anymore. Whatever I felt for you died when Damien told me the truth. You kidnapped me, put me in a cage, and I let that go. You used to collect money from human trafficking, and I let that go after you stopped. You’ve fucked prostitutes, and I let that go. You were rude to my boss, and I let that go. You’ve been enemies with my brother, and I let that go. But this…it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
He took a deep breath, his eyes almost closing as he processed the rejection.
“Not my father.”
He closed his eyes.
I shook my head, looking at him with disgust. “Instead of wasting your time bothering me, you should be preparing for what’s to come. Because my brother is coming for you—hard.”
He opened his eyes. “There’s nothing to prepare for. I would never hurt him.”
“Whatever…”
“I would never hurt someone you love. So, if he comes after me…I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Then I suggest you leave the country and start over somewhere else. Because he’s not gonna stop until you’re gone.”
He slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Then he’s going to kill me…because I won’t kill him.”
Thirteen
Heath
Balto stepped out of the hallway, pulling on a t-shirt as he walked. “Do you ever call?”
I helped myself to the liquor cabinet, searching for a bottle of vodka. There was none, unfortunately, so I grabbed a substitute.
“Change your codes if you don’t want me to stop by unannounced.” I was the only one besides the two of them who had unrestricted access to their place, because I used to occupy the third floor. And I knew he never changed it because I was family—and I was always welcome. I filled my glass then made one for him.
“None for me.” He fell onto the couch.
“Then more for me.” I carried both glasses to the table and sat on the other couch. The last couple weeks of my life had been filled with booze and solitude. When I went to the Underground and took care of business, I was usually out of touch with my own actions, only partially listening to conversations.