“Has he texted you since he left here?”
“No. He said he was givin’ me twenty-four hours. I doubt he’ll contact me before then.” The display on my phone read 7:12. “Which means I have eight hours and thirty-six minutes left to make a decision.”
We both sat on my couch, Riley at one end and me on the other. She stopped by after her last client left to get the rest of her things but also because she knew I needed to get some stuff off my chest.
“Do you know which way you’re leaning?” She fluffed the throw pillow in front of her, cradling it to her chest before pulling her leg underneath her.
“No.” I played with my bottom lip while mentally listing the pros and cons of being with Ace. On the pros side, I was insanely attracted to him; he was fantastic in bed; he made me laugh; I’d told him about my dad, details I’d only ever told Riley; and he wanted to be with me exclusively, hence the ultimatum. On the cons side, I didn’t trust he wouldn’t break my heart. There it was in a nutshell.
Based on those facts, my decision should’ve been a no-brainer, but my heart continued to war with my head.
“Do you want my opinion?” she asked, glancing at her phone when an incoming text flashed across the screen. She didn’t open it, however, her attention solely on me.
“Of course. Why do you think I’m squatting on this couch with you?” My smile never reached my eyes.
“I’ve known you forever. The issue you have with your father affects you in more ways than you want to admit, or even acknowledge. And having Sam cheat on you only adds to your distrust in guys.”
Sam was my high school boyfriend of three years who cheated on me with his best friend’s girlfriend, at a party I wasn’t even supposed to be at. Dick.
“You’re too good of a person to be alone, Chels. I love you and I want to see you happy, and I believe Ace can do that for you. You guys would make a great couple. He obviously likes you a lot.”
“How do you know?” I glossed over everything else she said. My father was a sore subject for me. Because of his gambling, we’d been evicted from many places over the years. That tended to happen when someone who’s supposed to pay the rent flushed it away at the casino or at the track.
Before my mom made him leave for good, he’d gotten so far into debt with a dangerous loan shark, he tried to offer me up to the guy as payment. His own fourteen-year-old daughter. He tried to pimp me out to pay off his debt. I found all this out when the extortioner paid my mom and me a visit. Turned out, although he’d probably done some bad shit, he had a conscience. He advised my mom to never let my father near me again because the next guy he offered me up to might not be like him. The very next day, we moved without him.
Riley’s voice pulled me from my unpleasant memories. “Because the way he looks at you says it all, minus today, of course. I know you see it too. You’re just bein’ stubborn and guarded. Besides, Kaden said he’s tired of listening to the guy complain that you’re jerking him around.” Riley scrunched her face. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I want you to know how much Ace is really into you.”
“Oh, God. What?” I held the air in my lungs in preparation for what she was about to say.
“After the big fight you two had, when Ace left with Kaden and Lincoln, he said something to my brother before they got in the truck.” Riley stopped talking, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.
“Are you gonna tell me what it was?”
All her hesitation was gone when she finally answered. “He said you were nuts.”
“No surprise there.”
“Then right afterward he said he thinks he loves you anyway.”
“No, he didn’t.” My mouth fell open the same time my heart picked up its pace. The muscle pounded so hard I could hear the pulse in my ear.
“That’s what Kaden told me,” she replied, shifting her position on the sofa and moving her leg out from underneath her.
“Well… I don’t think….” I exhaled, a mix of nervousness and disbelief forming some other emotion. “He was drunk. I doubt he remembered he even said it. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”
“Maybe not, but drunk or sober, you don’t just say something like that unless there are deep feelings behind it.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I tried to make myself believe my own words. “We’re not good together. We push each other’s buttons too easily and fight more than we don’t.” I should’ve put those on the con list. Although, some of our fights have led to some amazing sex. Is that a pro?
“Do you think you argue often because you refuse to let him get too close? Maybe you’re just picking at things to cause a fight.”
I leaned my head back against the top of the couch, regretting drinking the last of the vodka the other night. “Possibly.” A half-committal shrug accompanied my one-word answer.
Riley gently slapped the top of my leg. “Answer me this, then. Can you imagine Ace not being in your life at all?”
“Yeah. I mean… I think so.” My fingers wove into the thickness of my hair, tugging the strands in order to feel the sting of pain I needed to distract from her question. It didn’t work.
“Imagine how you’d feel if he was around and ignored you.”
“Like he did today?”
“Exactly. Now imagine he did that every time. Would that upset you? Knowing you can’t talk to him ever again?”
I lifted my head to look at her. “He didn’t say anything about us not being able to talk ever again. He just said we wouldn’t be foolin’ around.”
“Okay.” She looked toward the ceiling before her eyes swung back to mine. “How would you feel if you saw him with someone else? Knowing they were having sex. Knowing they were possibly developing some kind of relationship.”
“Fuck, Ry.” I grunted, shaking my head before answering. “I’d hate it. I’d want to kill her, then him. But me being jealous shouldn’t be the reason I choose to be with him.”
“You’re right. You should want to be with him because you can’t picture your life without him.” She swiped the screen of her cell and typed out a message. Without removing her focus from the device, she added, “The fact that you haven’t messed with anyone else while you’ve been involved with Ace should tell you something. Just sayin’.” Her fingers worked feverishly to finish her message.
“That Kaden?” I needed a subject change and quick.
“Yeah, he said he’ll be done in a half hour. Wants to know if I need him to come here to help with my things.” Riley had brought some toiletries and a suitcase filled with clothes and shoes, nothing she couldn’t carry by herself. “Do you want me to tell him yes, and to grab Ace to help?” Her slow curving smirk made me want to toss my pillow at her.
“Don’t you dare.”
“Fine.” Riley rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell him I got it. I don’t need his assistance.” Right before she hit Send, she looked back over at me. “Are you sure?”
“I’ll kill you.” My expression flattened, but the more we stared at each other, the more I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.