And my first reaction is yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I? Life is giving us a second chance, kind of a third chance even, throwing the two of us together again. By way of a dating app, of all things. Of course I will see where this goes. Because it’s River.
But then the left side of my brain takes over, planting tiny seeds of doubt. If it’s never been the right timing before, how could it be now?
Because it’s fucking River, the right side of my brain argues. And he’s sexy, he’s smart, he’s…the only man to have a permanent spot in the back of my mind. That has to count for something. Stop trying to sabotage a good thing.
Hailee waves her hand in front of my face. “Earth to Ava! Hellooo?”
“I don’t know, actually,” I confess, leaving his message on read and setting my phone back on the table.
She looks annoyed with me and says, “Look. I have a great idea.” This will be good. “Do you remember the sexy Australian from the dating app? We matched, so I messaged him! His name is Oliver and we’re going on a date tomorrow night, and you and River are going to accompany us. That’ll keep you from worrying about me possibly getting raped or murdered, because I know you’d be concerned the entire time.” She cocks her head to the side. “You’ve really got to stop with all those crazy true crime shows.” She’s trying to reverse psychology me into doing this, and it’s working.
“Are you really ready to go out on a date?” I ask. “After everything with Ryan?”
“I’m just having fun, Aves.”
“I guess there’s no harm in going on a date.” But deep down, I know there is. River is addicting. It took me years to try to get over him and I’m not sure I ever fully did. What if it happens again?
Despite my fear, I agree, partially to appease Hailee and partially because I can’t deny that there must be a reason the universe keeps catapulting River and I back into each other’s arms.
We agree to text Oliver and River in the morning, and head to our separate rooms for the night.
I pull back the sheets and shimmy out of my jeans and V-neck, then slide into my bed. The sheets feel cool and smooth against my skin and I’m finally able to relax, taking in everything that happened tonight.
River and I didn’t have sex. We would have, probably, but I couldn’t with Hailee here; it didn’t feel right. I also wanted to see if River was really only here because he thought I would gladly spread my legs and take all of him in, or if he was satisfied just being with me.
He certainly didn’t seem to mind.
Thinking now, about River, I feel the urge to touch myself. It’s strong and I don’t want to fight it. Sliding down my black lace panties, that were chosen on the off chance that we did take it further, I start to gently rub myself, focusing on my clit with one hand and my nipples with the other. I think solely of River, his strong arms and scruffy face. He was so close to me in the moments before I took control and placed my mouth on his.
If we would have taken it there tonight, I would have let him take me. I would have succumbed to everything he is, his wants, his desires. I want to be the one to make him feel good again. The one he wants.
I can almost feel him inside of me as I slide my fingers down my slit and into my opening, wetness coating my fingers. I moan, loudly at first, catching myself and holding back as much as I can.
I imagine my two fingers are his hard cock. The length of his erection fills me up, sliding in and out of me, pumping his hard thickness slowly at first but increasingly harder the longer we go. I close my eyes tight and think of his face above mine. River buries his head in my chest, licking and sucking, twirling his tongue around my hard nipples, teasing me exactly how I like it.
He leans back and grabs ahold of my thighs, steadying himself so he can give his cock to me fast and hard. The sound he makes smacking against me turns me on, makes my blood boil beneath my skin and I’m trying my hardest not to come, wanting to wait for him.
I rub my clit harder, faster, wanting River to actually be here in bed with me. I imagine him pulling out of me, wanting to last as long as he can. He licks my slit up and down, concentrating at first on my clit and then moving down to my opening and tongue-fucking me to oblivion. I’m grabbing his head and holding it down into me, trying to get his tongue as far as it can go inside of me.
“Fuck,” I groan. I need him here. I’m hooking my fingers inside of me, fucking myself fast, in and out, my sex slick with desire as I dig my head deeper into the pillow, angling it back in pleasure. He feels so good, so right. I finger fuck myself until I can’t take it anymore. Bucking my hips, I focus entirely on my clit until I’m coming, drowning in thoughts of River’s hands all over me.
I fall asleep almost immediately after, my mind exhausted and finally giving in to the night.
Track Twenty-Seven: Poetic Justice
by Kendrick Lamar
AVA
By the time I’m done working for the day, Hailee’s throwing us a freak-out party.
I open the door and step out of my home office where I see her in full panic mode. “You do realize I was trying to write a book and you were running around screaming about not being able to find matching panties, right?” I tease. I’ve learned how to tune Hailee’s loud demeanor out when I’ve needed to over the years.
“Sorry, but I think having coordinating lingerie is pretty important,” she teases back with a shrug. “Honestly, I don’t even know how to date anymore. Whose idea was this?” She shoots me a glaring look and I throw my hands up, not willing to take the blame for this one.
“Yours,” I say, rolling my eyes. “We could cancel. No one’s holding a gun to our heads.” I’m only half-joking, but she immediately shoots the idea down.
“I haven’t had sex with anyone other than Ryan—and my hand—for years. We’re going on this date and I’m getting laid by a sexy Australian man, do you hear me?” She huffs lightly. “I don’t care how much I bitch and complain, we’re doing it.”
I laugh and tell her that River wants to pick me up, then ask if she wants to ride with us or Uber. She weighs the pros and cons and ultimately decides to Uber, making a joke that River and I might want to have sexy time before dinner. She’s a psychopath, but I love her.
When River texts me to say he’s outside, I find it strange that he doesn’t want to come up and get me, but I try not to read too far into it. With one last spritz of my perfume, I tell Hailee I’ll meet her there soon, then I’m out the door and onto the sidewalk in front of the building, searching for River in the sea of vehicles parked on the side of the street.
There’s no way he still has that old Mustang, so I don’t even bother trying to look for it. I turn my head when I hear a wolf whistle, and it’s River, taking a bronze-colored helmet off his head, perched on top of a gorgeous, sexy looking motorcycle. The bronze of his helmet matches the bronze on the frame of his bike. Holy shit. River on a motorcycle. I didn’t think this man could get any sexier, but when I see him here, straddling the large bike with tiny beads of sweat trickling down his forehead, I’m taken aback.