The business was failing and there was no room for sentimentality. Tough decisions needed to be made. But he knew his mum didn’t want to listen to any of his reasoning. She was still viewing the business through the rose-tinted glasses of the past. From the happier days when his dad had been alive, when everything had been safe and secure. But now all that had changed and she was struggling to face the new reality.
‘I think you forget that I let you change the windows and doors, didn’t I?’ his mum added.
This time, Josh did roll his eyes. ‘They were rotten and it was draughty.’ He had also managed to get the electric circuit board updated so that he no longer feared a fire every time he flicked a switch. It had been a minor victory amongst so much failure.
The rest of his hard-earned savings had gone into paying off the hefty second mortgage on the place, a burden he had shared with his brother. Unknown to anyone other than Josh and Pete, their dad had remortgaged the shop many years previously. Even their mum wasn’t aware that Todd had gotten himself into financial difficulties. He had been a great father but not so good a businessman. The debts had been quite substantial on top of the mortgage. His dad had bought anything and everything from fairs and warehouse sales, filling the shop with who knows what. There was so much of it and most of it rubbish. But the money problems had remained, so Josh had used up the last of his money to ensure that his mum and grandma had a roof over their heads. Unfortunately he didn’t have enough to cover the shop’s day-to-day debts, which were mounting at an alarming rate.
‘You’ve spent too much money on all the updates,’ said Cathy, obviously not wanting to give up the argument quite yet. ‘You didn’t need to get the central heating done in the flat above the shop as well.’
He didn’t reply, merely turning away to look outside of the window. It was just another row in a long line of them and he felt so helpless, trapped in Cranbridge with none of his business savvy even close to helping out his family. He had been desperate to get away when he was younger, although he loved his family. He wanted to follow his own path and make something of himself. He had turned his passion for battling climate change into a real business. He had worn nice suits, enjoyed being someone whose opinion counted for something. A grown-up with a career.
But now he was back in the village and it was as if he had stepped back in time. He was even in his childhood bedroom in the flat above the shop. These days he felt like a teenager again, with no room to breathe or grow.
‘Your father didn’t like technology,’ he heard his mother say.
Josh drew in a sharp breath to steady his tone of voice as he continued to face the window. ‘He bought an electric guitar,’ he reminded her. ‘He used that as well as his acoustic one.’
‘Humph. That was music.’
‘Well, he was a musician.’ He finally turned to look at his mum. ‘The shop needs to change,’ he told her in a gentle tone. ‘Otherwise…’ His voice trailed off. Even at the age of thirty-five he couldn’t say what needed to be said.
His mum crossed her arms. Defence shields up, he thought.
‘It’s fine the way it is,’ she finally said.
No, it’s not, he thought as she turned to straighten a pile of biscuits next to the till. Did she know how bad it really was? He sometimes thought she did.
‘I came back to run the shop,’ he reminded her.
‘No, you came back because your father was ill.’
‘And then you were ill,’ he said. ‘And Grandma couldn’t do it all by herself, so here I am.’ Stuck in Cranbridge, he added to himself.
She looked at him, lifting her chin a little. ‘I could have coped.’
‘With all the chemotherapy making you so sick?’
‘Well, not on those days, but all the others,’ said his mother quickly. ‘Anyway, I don’t want to talk about the chemotherapy. Or any of it.’ She swiftly walked out from behind the counter. ‘I’m going to make a cup of tea,’ she said, rushing through to the back room and up the stairs to the flat.
Josh sighed. He knew that his mum preferred to stick her head in the sand than confront the reality of their situation. He also knew that she was stressed about the scan results later that week. The doctors had been hopeful last time about the future and yet his stomach was still clenched in fear.
His mum had fallen ill way too soon after losing his dad, but they had got through the worst of days, hadn’t they? But there always seemed to be another appointment to stress about.
And he couldn’t face telling her the truth and cause her yet more hurt and worry. So he stayed silent and frustrated, unable to see a way out of their predicament.
He turned back to look out of the window and watched as Grandma Tilly and Amber slowly walked along the other side of the river.
He looked at Amber. Her long dark blonde hair shone in the dappled sunlight peeping through the trees. It was almost the same colour as the changing leaves on the oak trees, he thought.
Perhaps Amber could help his mum see that the shop needed to be reorganised. She was calm, thoughtful. Maybe she would be more gentle than him in persuading his mum to see the light.
As he continued to watch them, he wondered briefly what Amber’s life had been like since their teenage years. She’d always been so quiet when they had been growing up. That much hadn’t changed. But she had done so well for herself, working in both London and New York.
The bell above the door rang as Grandma Tilly pushed it open.
‘It’s lovely out there,’ she said. ‘I love this time of year.’
‘Me too,’ said Cathy, appearing from the back room holding a cup of tea. ‘I saw you both out of the window and I’ve made a cuppa. Do you want one?’
‘Thanks,’ said Grandma Tilly, heading over to the seat behind the till. ‘What have I missed?’
‘Just your grandson’s daily nagging session,’ said Cathy.
Grandma Tilly hugged her coat around her in the cool air of the shop. ‘I timed our walk just right then, didn’t I?’ She gave Amber a large wink before looking innocently at Josh.
‘Apparently we need updating,’ said Cathy, in a sarcastic tone, looking at Amber. ‘Can you believe it?’
Amber shuffled from foot to foot, obviously embarrassed about being put on the spot. ‘I don’t know anything about shops,’ she eventually said. ‘Only the windows.’
‘Maybe you can do something with ours,’ said Grandma Tilly. ‘I’ve always loved the big bay windows here.’
Amber looked startled at the suggestion. ‘Oh, I don’t know…’
‘They couldn’t look any worse,’ carried on Grandma Tilly.
‘Excuse me, I did those windows this summer,’ said Cathy, looking slightly affronted.
Grandma Tilly grinned. ‘I know you did, my darling. I just think we’ve got this amazing window dresser in our midst for a while. Don’t you think we could use Amber’s talents?’
Everyone turned to look at Amber, who was now very pink in the cheeks. ‘If you think it would help,’ she muttered. ‘Of course I’ll redecorate them for you.’
‘Excellent,’ said Grandma Tilly, grinning.
‘See?’ said Cathy in a triumphant tone of voice as she looked at Josh. ‘And you said I couldn’t make changes around here!’