But despite the fact that I should’ve just kept moving, told myself that, wanted to, I was stuck in place. I watched him. He watched me. And then he pushed away from the wall, and I found myself taking yet another step back, not sure what he planned on doing, if he planned on doing anything.
Maybe he’d just let me walk away? Maybe he wanted me gone so I wouldn’t cause any problems between him and his brothers? Or maybe he really did just want me dead?
I was on alert, ready to fight back if need be, but he didn’t come any closer to me, only enough that I could see him clearly under the muted glow of the porch light.
He took another puff off his joint before offering it to me, lifting a brow in almost a challenge. I shook my head and took another step back. The way he watched me had my skin tightening. He brought the joint to his lips once more, took another drag from it, held the smoke for a few seconds, and then exhaled slowly, the cloud moving over my face.
“I didn’t think anyone was here but Wilder and me.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “I live here,” he said matter-of-factly.
That was obvious, but everyone said they were heading out for the rest of the night, which was how Wilder and I had… yeah, how we’d crossed that line that couldn’t be uncrossed.
He stared at me for a second, and then I watched him inhale, but he wasn’t smoking. He was taking in my scent.
“You smell like my brother.” The smirk he gave me was void of any emotion.
I didn’t bother responding, even though I could tell he knew exactly what Wilder and I had done. I felt no embarrassment, no shame. I actually felt pleasurable heat at the thought of giving myself over to Wilder.
“Where do you plan on going?”
I hadn’t expected him to ask me that, but maybe this was all part of the game? I didn’t know Frankie at all to know how he really was, although Wilder didn’t seem like his brother was a threat. He didn’t act like it anyway.
I shrugged and tightened my hand over the strap of my purse as if it were a lifeline, something to ground me, to steady me.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” I wasn’t going to tell him much more than that. I had a general state idea on where I was headed before he’d taken me, and I figured sticking with that was probably the least complicated route. I also didn’t tell him or try to show that leaving Wilder was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do thus far in my life.
I kept telling myself the more distance I put between me and the man who claimed my heart would be easier, but I knew that was a lie.
“You don’t strike me as the type of person who doesn’t have a plan.”
He was right. I always had a plan, but I just shrugged and said, “Being kidnapped can put a wrench in someone’s plans.”
He smirked again, but it was far from humorous. “Well, safe travels, Zoey.” He flicked the roach away and shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. His pose was non-threatening, but then again, I felt like that was probably a huge lie. None of the Preacher brothers seemed like they didn’t always have their strength right under the surface.
“That’s it?” I was a bit shocked, to say the least. “It’s that easy?” I tried not to let my voice show I was still so nervous.
He shrugged one wide shoulder. “I told you I wouldn’t hurt you, that once my brother was healed, I’d let you leave.”
He had, but that hadn’t meant I believed him.
He didn’t say anything else, just watched me. I slowly started to back away, nodding, although I didn’t know what I was agreeing with. I turned my back on him and made my way toward the front, but each step was so hard, harder than the last.
“Zoey,” Frankie called out softly.
I stopped and turned to look over my shoulder. This was it, the point he told me I couldn’t leave, that he lied. But as he stared at me, I didn’t see anything but… sympathy.
“I know why you feel like you have to run, but I’m going to tell you something I know damn well you are aware of.”
I swallowed roughly and turned to face him.
“My twin, that man who I thought I’d lose just two weeks ago, has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.” My throat tightened even more. “He’s never defended anyone, wanted to protect someone the way he wants to do with you.” My heart raced. “He looks at you like he’s finally found what he’s been missing his entire life.” My chest hurt so bad, Frankie’s words ringing true, because I felt them too. “And there’s nothing more I want in this God-forsaken life than for my brothers to be happy.” He took a step closer, but I didn’t retreat. I felt no threat from him right now. “My brother cares for you the likes of which I’ve never seen, the likes of which he’s never experienced. I’d even go as far as to say he loves you, but that’s not my place.”
I licked my lips, feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes. I’d been holding them back until now, but hearing Frankie say these things hit a chord deep within me.
“And if you feel anything remotely close to what my brother feels for you…” He took another step. “If you see any of that, don’t do this. Don’t leave him. Don’t make me watch my twin’s heart break and darkness take over.”
The emotion in Frankie’s voice told me one thing. He experienced this and didn’t want it for his brother.
“You can lie to me. You can lie to Wilder. But you can’t lie to yourself on how you feel for my brother.” This darkness washed over his face, not toward me, but because I could see he already experienced this. “You can run a lifetime, but at the end of the day, you’ll think back on this, on what you feel, and know you made the biggest mistake of your life.”
He stared at me for a long moment, and then without saying another word, he turned and left, leaving me standing there to think about what he said. I turned to start making my way toward the front again, knowing I had a plan, but my feet were cement pillars, refusing to take me farther. I glanced at where Frankie left then where the only thing stopping me from being with Wilder was a set of sliding glass doors.
The tears were streaming down my cheeks, fat droplets like a spigot had been opened and couldn’t be turned off. I didn’t want to leave Wilder. I didn’t want to ignore how he made me feel.
I didn’t want to run anymore.
My heart was pounding as I turned back around and all but ran to those sliding glass doors. My pulse jumped into my throat as I rounded the corner of the house, to slip through those doors that would take me to Wilder. It was as if a light switch had been turned on in me, this glow washing over my darkest fears and wiping them away.
This wasn’t about falling for Wilder. This wasn’t about caring so deeply for another soul; something else, someone else mattered more than you did. This was about so much more. This was about finding something just for me, finding happiness for the first time in my life. I wanted to utter the words that would link us together, that I wanted to be his the same way I wanted him to be mine.
Was this love? I didn’t know. I’d never loved anyone. I’d never felt love from anyone. Not even my own mother had given me love, an emotion that should have been so natural, being a mother and child.