It was the same feeling she got while walking on the meandering paths in this conservatory. The room itself was as big as the gym, though its exact dimensions were hard to determine given the way the vegetation blocked the sight lines, giving people the impression it was much larger than it was.
Every plant here was both strange and familiar. She didn't have names for any of them, but they were comforting in a way she couldn’t explain.
Kira's pace was fast as she moved along the paths. Several minutes passed before she slowed from a near run to a slow walk, her breathing deepening as the peace of this place invaded her. She found a spot of grass and settled back, looking up at the thick windows and the darkness of space above dotted with its blanket of glitter.
Her hands shook and her stomach had giant balls of snakes in it from the aftermath of the simulation. She thought she was doing better. Perhaps not, if one lackluster battle was enough to engender this reaction.
Jin meandered through the branches, humming softly to himself. He knew she wanted privacy and he was smart enough to give it to her.
She filled her lungs before releasing it slowly. Things could be worse. Yes, she hadn't meant to tip her hand quite so thoroughly, but she'd managed to keep from using the power hiding at her core. That was something at least. Small wins and all that.
There was a soft sound from the path, alerting her to the fact she was no longer alone. She groaned internally, lifting her head.
Graydon's imposing form pushed through the branches. Somehow, she never got used to his size or the almost cruel beauty of his face. The words on her lips died. She sat up, not liking the thought of being in such a vulnerable position with him looming above her.
"You don't have any more Tsavitee simulations waiting to attack, do you?" Kira asked, her voice dry.
A soft snort escaped him as he settled beside her.
"No, I think you've surprised me enough for one day," Graydon said. "I hadn't expected your skills to be quite so impressive."
Kira ran her fingers along a blade of grass, feeling the life and vitality in it as she thought over what he'd said. She didn't know whether she believed him. If he was surprised, it meant he'd set up that test knowing she'd be humiliated and left with several bruises by the end.
The question was why.
"You know I was in the military. Why the shock that I know how to handle myself?" Kira asked.
"I've seen humans fight. They're not that impressive."
Then he hadn't been watching the right humans. It was true most humans couldn't compete one on one with Graydon or any of his men, but given enough training and incentive anything was possible.
Any one of her old team could have set Graydon on his ass. Even Jace and Raider wouldn't go down easily.
"That's not arrogant or anything," Kira said.
He shrugged, not seeming bothered about her words. "I call it like I see it."
Kira shook her head. The more time she spent with this man, the more he irritated her.
Graydon's teeth flashed in a dark smile. He knew he was getting to her, knew it and liked it.
She didn't know what to make of that. Few had ever challenged her in such a way. That he did, someone who wasn't an ally but also couldn't yet be considered an enemy, was unsettling.
"You don't like humans, do you?" Kira asked.
He reclined onto the grass, resting his weight on one elbow as he angled his body to face her. His expression thoughtful as he considered her statement. "Not particularly."
It was truthful enough to startle a small sound from her. Of course, he didn't. The sentiment shouldn't surprise her. More surprising was the fact he'd admitted to it. In her experience, most preferred to lie to themselves. Pretend they were less judgmental and prejudiced than they were.
"You realize my loyalties are with them, right?"
He didn't seem particularly bothered by that statement, his lips curling up for a reason only he could know. "For now."
"Cocky."
He chuckled, the sound whispering across her skin like velvet. She suppressed an involuntary shiver.
There was an awareness in his eyes, one echoed within her. It had been a long time since she'd had such thoughts about another, and definitely never about one who saw her as a duty and a liability.
"I have reason to be," he said. "Becoming the Emperor's Face is difficult. You don't get to my position without understanding things."
Kira gave him a deadpan look. "Please. Regale me with your wisdom. I don't know how I made it this far in life without it."
His teeth flashed again at her sarcasm, the look in his eyes saying he enjoyed their banter. Kira wasn't sure that was a good thing. It was kind of like being the sole focus of a tiger. You didn’t know if it wanted to eat you or just maul you a little.
He leaned forward, his eyes half-lidded. "Try as hard as you want, but you'll never be one of them. They'll never fully understand you, not like we would."
This time her smile was dry and humorless. "You assume I want someone who understands me."
The playful seduction in his expression faded, and this time the look he gave her was strangely sympathetic. It made that tight feeling Kira carried around with her all the time worse.
"We all want that," he said simply. "We're not meant to traverse this life alone."
Kira lifted her chin. Maybe not, but that's exactly what she was doing. The time for companions had passed. She'd found a balance in her life. She wasn't sure she wanted to disrupt that for maybes.
"Kira, I found a flower you need to see," Jin shouted, zooming out from the underbrush and breaking the fragile moment. "It looks exactly like cat ears!"
Jin's flight stuttered when he caught sight of Graydon.
Kira was grateful for the distraction and rose. "Let's see this flower."
"I'd be interested in seeing what could so shock your drone," Graydon said, uncoiling as he rose.
Kira hesitated but couldn't think of a way to politely decline. "It's your ship."
He could go where he wanted
"Indeed, it is," Graydon said, with a small smile Kira couldn't decipher.
Graydon followed her as she ducked around trees and under branches as Jin zipped through effortlessly, his smaller size and ability to ignore gravity allowing him to take advantage of passageways they could not.
It didn't take long until they were standing under a canopy of tree branches dotted with thousands of small lilac-colored flowers.
Jin lowered to several flowers growing from dead logs on the ground.
"The azira aliri," Graydon murmured when it became clear what had so fascinated Jin. "I'm surprised he found them."
Jin crooned as he flitted from flower to flower like a giant hummingbird. He'd been right. They looked like cat's ears perched on round stamen, if one ignored the fact they were all bright orange and blue.
"They normally hide their faces when strangers near." Graydon’s shoulder brushed Kira's as he leaned forward. "They must not sense a threat from your machine."
"Jin has a way of putting people at ease," Kira said.
"You've named it?" Graydon asked.
Kira was silent for a long second as she debated the best response. It wasn't like she hid what Jin was, but she didn't advertise it either. Too many people had tried to call her a liar.