"You going to help or not?" she challenged.
He shook his head, his expression inscrutable as he moved toward the two children. He stopped Ziva and corrected her form before prowling toward Joule to do the same. Both children brightened at his presence, their faces turning worshipful as they hadn't when Kira had done the same.
"That's a surprise," Graydon murmured.
"What is?"
"He approves." Graydon turned to face her, a glimmer of admiration in his intelligent eyes. "As do I."
There was a sharp stab of pleasure at his words, surprising Kira. Such a simple statement shouldn't have been enough to unbalance her to this extent, even as she found herself craving more.
She shook off the feelings. She wasn't here to care what Graydon thought of her or her actions. She had more important things to consider, a long overdue mission deserving completion.
She couldn't afford to be tempted by emotion, even if the seriously sexy packaging made her want to spend hours exploring the hard planes and grooves of his body.
He didn't say anything else, moving past her to help Finn as they both worked to guide the kids through the moves, showing them easy modifications when Ziva and Joule struggled.
The children were like flowers in their care, blossoming under the men's instruction.
Kira stayed in the background, her smile dying as loneliness surged up to grab hold. As much fun as flirting with Graydon was or watching the kids come into their own, this was temporary, she reminded herself.
Soon she'd return to her ship and its isolation. Once she might have welcomed the reprieve it offered; now she found herself hesitating as Graydon, Finn, and the Curs made her crave things she hadn't allowed herself to think about in many years.
"There's to be a formal welcome ceremony tomorrow evening," Finn announced, glancing her way. "All of your attendance is mandatory."
The tangent was enough to pull Kira from her melancholy thoughts.
Joule and Ziva paused, looking at each other with guarded expressions, their earlier levity disappearing.
"How big a ceremony are we talking?" Kira asked.
"All of the Overlord's council and most of the Citadel will be there," Finn said. "The three of you will be given the first test of the House and then they will hold a celebration."
Kira nodded. A big party where most of the populace of the Citadel would be distracted. Good. She could work with that.
"I assume you're bringing this up for a reason." Kira arched an eyebrow in expectation.
Graydon answered for him. "You need to learn proper etiquette. Luatha is an old House, and for this occasion they will be scrupulous in making sure the niceties are observed. Creating a good impression will only serve to help you."
Kira pulled a face. The prospect didn't thrill her but she understood his reasoning. "Fine, what do I need to know."
His smile was slow in dawning. "So very much."
*
Kira contained a wince as sore muscles protested. Evidently practicing bows and other forms of greetings used unexpected muscles, and they were not happy.
Graydon had proved a surprisingly effective, though merciless, teacher. He seemed to take a sick pleasure in snapping out instruction after instruction and then pointing out all the ways she'd gone wrong.
Tuann society was filled with nuances wrapped in nuances, and then tied with a bow of more nuances. It was enough to give Kira a headache.
Governed by tradition and rules, their restrictions were meant to clearly outline expectations of personal conduct. Since duels and personal combat were an accepted form of settling grievances, she’d learned it was important to guard your interactions to prevent inadvertent offense.
No, when they planned to kill each other, they wanted it to be because they were good and infuriated with their opponent.
All this served to make Kira's head hurt by the end. She barely understood human social behavior. She had no idea how she was going to make it through this ceremony without offending everyone present.
Kira groaned just thinking about it.
"Cheer up, Nixxy," Jin said. "At least Graydon said you couldn't be challenged until after the adva ka."
"No, he said I couldn't be challenged by another adult. Other children or those who haven't passed the adva ka are fine," Kira corrected.
Jin made an amused sound, knowing Kira would have difficulty if someone Joule's age tried to challenge her.
"You haven't called me Nixxy in a long time," Kira said, looking up at him.
She stood on the terrace off the suite Graydon and his people had procured. In the dark, Jin nearly blended in with the night, only the odd flicker of light reflecting off his metal body.
"You left Phoenix behind when you made the Wanderer your home," he said.
She had. She'd tried to bury the parts of her that had made the Phoenix such an effective weapon.
"You sound like you miss her," Kira said, feeling vulnerable. When she'd chosen not to return to the Curs, she'd never considered how Jin might feel, taking his presence for granted. He was the one constant in her life.
Perhaps she should have made more of an effort to figure out what he wanted.
"I do sometimes," he admitted. Seeing her expression fall, he rushed to add, "I know why you left her behind. You had to keep your promise to Elise. You had to."
She nodded. Yes, she had, but perhaps she could have found a better way.
"That life was killing you, slowly but surely. Everyone could see it," he told her. "They might not have wanted to admit it, even to themselves, but they did."
By the end of the war, she was a walking shell of her former self. Her light and humor gone, leaving nothing behind but a vicious animal—dangerous to everyone, including herself.
Elise had been a Cur, her best friend, her sister, and the woman Raider loved more than life itself. Before she'd gone, she'd made Kira promise to survive, to live for all those who hadn't.
So, Kira had, even when some days it felt like she was abrading her skin with volcanic ash as she struggled through one hour after another.
Eventually, it got easier. She started to feel again. She reclaimed the tiny bits of herself she'd lost. It hadn't been easy, but she'd never stopped pushing forward.
Being around Raider and Jace and the new Curs, she found herself asking if she'd done the right thing. Maybe there had been a way for both sides of her to survive.
She didn't know.
The Phoenix had been glaringly bright, a shining beacon whose light attracted everyone to her until it flickered and went out.
Kira knew the Phoenix was her, but some days she couldn't even remember what it felt like to be that person.
"She's not dead, you know," Jin said. "I've seen echoes of her through the years. Here, I've seen more of her than I have in a long time."
Kira didn't move, turning his words over before tucking them away for consideration at another time.
"Tell me what you found," she said.
"The Curs are safe. Angry, but unharmed," he said. "Raider was talking about staging a breakout. Jace talked him out of it."
"Where does he think he'll go?" Kira asked. "It's not like the Tuann will let them take one of their ships."
"It seems your commander was right. There is a ship waiting outside Tuann space. I suppose Raider thinks a drop ship might be capable of slipping through the defense net."