His reaction is hilarious. I’ve never seen Casper get flustered like this. “He’s a good-looking guy. What’s the bear part?”
“Hair.” Casper grins. “Thick glorious hair. His chest, his face, maybe he even has a furry ass. A boy can hope.”
“And that’s hot? Okay…”
“Not to everyone, but it sure the fuck is to me. Any chance he’s down with dick?”
I laugh. “As I understand it, he is. The guys said he’s gay.”
“Hmm, maybe my luck is changing.”
“He owns Dulce Santo across the street.”
“Yeah? Sweet Saint, huh? I suddenly feel like an empanada.”
I laugh. “I bet you do.”
“Things going well with you and Briar?”
“Very well. We’re practicing.”
“Practicing what?”
“Pretending to be fiancés. His friends are basically tutoring me on all things gay so it’s more believable.”
Casper laughs. “That’s awesome.”
“Yeah. We went to Tru on Saturday and had a blast. We’re doing a drag show on Wednesday.”
“I like it. Very evolved of you, Jude.”
“Why?”
“Word on the street is that you’re straight.” He whispers it like he’s telling me a secret.
“I’m aware. That means I can’t participate in gay culture?”
“Oh, no, by all means, participate. It’s just that not all your straight compadres are as comfortable.”
“Well their loss then. I had fun. I would do it again. Besides, I don’t really see it like that. I see it as learning more about Briar and his experience in the world. There’s a lot of privilege that comes with growing up straight.”
“Amen to that, brother. I was part of that privilege most of my life. Now I’m far from that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh. You probably don’t know anything about the stigma attached to bi men. Ask Briar. I’m sure he could educate you.”
I nod, deciding from his tone he doesn’t want to delve into it. “I’ll ask.”
“But it’s cool you get that you have some het privilege. That’s what makes you a great boss and a good friend.”
“Or just a decent person.”
“That too, but you'd be surprised by how short of a supply the world has sometimes.”
“It sucks. I’m sorry if you’ve had a bad experience.”
He shrugs. “That’s life,” he sings, like Frank Sinatra.
“It is.” For the first time, I notice there might be a deeper person hidden within the always smiling Casper.
“Anyway,” he says. “You want an empanada?”
“Sure do.”
“Sweet or savory?”
“Sweet. Always sweet.”
When I walk into the apartment that evening, I smell something good and head to the kitchen to find its source. Briar is standing over a pot on the stove.
“Hey.”
He turns and smiles. “Hey, you. How was work?”
“Busy, but I’ll never complain about that. You?”
“Same. Lots of orders. Wedding season is coming so bachelor and bachelorette parties, showers, bridal lunches. Everyone needs cake.”
I chuckle. “I bet. Smells good. What is it?”
“This recipe I wanted to try. Want to eat dinner with me?”
“Please. Let me take a quick shower.”
“I’ll be here.”
I hurry through my shower realizing how hungry I am.
When I come out to the living room, Briar is setting the dining room table. “I could’ve done that. You cooked.”
He smiles. “No big deal. Sit. You want a beer?”
“Please.”
A minute or two later, Briar sets a bowl in front of me, one for him, then returns with a bread basket and two bottles of beer he’s already opened.
“This is nice, Bri. You’re spoiling me.”
He shakes his head. “Not really. Just felt like having a nice meal.”
“I appreciate it.” I take a bite of the dish and smile. “Mm, this is great. What is it?”
Briar’s face lights up. “It turned out well. It’s a chicken dish with wine and garlic served over polenta, but with modifications to make it healthier.”
“Put this on the make again list.”
He laughs. “Done.”
“Sorry my schedule has been crazy. You ready to get back to the gym?”
Briar scrunches his face. “I need to, yes.”
“Not if you don’t want to.”
“No, I do. We need to balance these nights out with the guys.”
“True.” I take a bite of my food. “Saint came by today.”
“I heard.”
“Casper about lost his shit when he saw him. Thought he was hot.”
Briar chuckles. “Yeah? Well, Saint is amazing.”
“He’s good looking.”
Briar nods, taking a bite of his food.
“Casper said there’s a stigma around bisexual men. Do you know anything about that?”
His eyes shoot up. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Curiosity. He seemed really sad about it when we were talking.”
“Oh. Why were you on the topic?”
“Saint. Casper wondered if he was into dick. His words, not mine.”
Briar snorts. “That’s funny.”
“Casper’s pretty funny.” I take a sip of beer while Briar looks lost in thought. “He was saying he thought it was very evolved of me to hang out with gay guys, which I think is bullshit. Then he mentioned there being issues for bi guys.”
Briar nods. “Well, being a bisexual male is not always well received.”
“By who?”
“Lots of people. Some women are weirded out sometimes if a guy is into guys. Some gay guys think it’s a pass through on the way to being gay. It’s like being between two worlds.”
“Why would gay guys think that?”
“Well, sometimes a guy who is feeling things for other guys might identify for a while as bi when in actuality he’s gay. He might do that because it makes him feel more comfortable, or because he can ease his family and friends into it, or he might truly be confused until he works through it. Of course, plenty of guys aren’t on their way to gay. They are truly bisexual. Women don’t have the same stigma because our society thinks two women together is hot, especially if a man is also involved. It’s the heterosexual gaze thing.”
“I had no idea.”
He smiles. “I think it’s changing though and not just for bisexual men, but everyone. We’re all learning to accept people and how they wish to identify whether that’s sexuality or gender. There’s more work to do but allies like you help.”
“Allies?”
“That’s really what Casper was trying to say. You’re a straight guy whose best friend is gay. It’s normal to you, and you don’t want to be treated differently because of it, and I know if anyone ever talked shit about an LGBTQ plus person you would stand up and say something.”