“I rest my case,” Kelsey says, glancing over at me. “That’s vaguely sleazy.”
“It is not,” Sarah protests.
“I always thought it was kind of romantic,” I offer, and Sarah jumps on it.
“It was definitely romantic. And—unique,” she adds.
“That’s one way to describe it,” Kelsey says, laughing as she dodges away from Sarah’s finger. She looked ready to poke Kelsey right in the side. “Let’s stop focusing on Sarah’s fiancé’s weird lingerie fetish and focus on Eleanor’s new man.”
“Tell us everything you know,” Sarah practically demands.
I launch into a description of Mitch. How he’s so easy to talk to and he makes me laugh. How he was extra flirtatious the first time we FaceTimed and even made a few sexual comments, which didn’t bother me in the least. In fact, I responded to them to the best of my ability, though I was a tad awkward.
“Of course,” Sarah says when I tell them that.
I describe him as tall and broad and very muscular, like muscles on muscles, and that’s when they both demand to see a photo of him. Lucky me, I’m able to whip one out pretty fast.
“He’s cute,” Sarah says as she examines my phone screen closely. She frowns before lifting her head, her gaze meeting mine. “I feel like I recognize him, but from where? Like maybe I know him or something.”
“He grew up around here. Well, in Monterey.”
“Really? What’s his last name?” Sarah hands my phone to Kelsey, who examines Mitch’s image thoroughly.
“Um…” My voice drifts, and I feel super dumb right now. “I don’t know.”
“Eleanor. You don’t know his last name? Come on, girl, you gotta stay on top of that stuff. How else can we Google him for you?” Kelsey says as she hands my phone back to me. “What does he do for a living?”
“Well, he says he works in fitness.” That is a really vague response. I don’t know what he means by that, and sitting here now, in the light of day with my two friends looking at me like I’ve lost my marbles, I’m feeling kind of lame for buying into that explanation.
“Fitness? That’s all he told you? That could mean anything. He could be a physical therapist. He could own a gym. Or he could be a gym rat who does nothing but work out all day,” Kelsey says. “Oh! He could work the front desk at a gym part time and only making minimum wage. The possibilities are endless.”
“I swear I’ve seen him before,” Sarah says, tapping her chin as she appears lost in thought. “He’s super familiar.”
“He’s older than you. I doubt you went to school together,” I say, shoving my phone in my bag. I have failed in the dating app department by not getting the important facts straight. Like finding out Mitch’s actual occupation and you know, his full name. “And you’re both right. I need to find out his last name. I also need to ask him more questions about his job.”
“Yes to both. When they’re secretive, there’s usually a reason,” Kelsey says with a sigh. “Like maybe he’s a serial killer or something.”
My entire friend group is fascinated with serial killers. I don’t know how many times one of them has used that term lately. “Are there really serial killers around anymore? It’s too easy to get caught nowadays. There are cameras everywhere.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” Sarah says with a little laugh. “Pretty sure Caroline called Jared a potential serial killer. Or was it Stella?”
We laugh. We order lunch when our server appears. We discuss Caroline’s wedding and how we all have a fitting next week for our bridesmaid gowns. The last fitting before the big day, and how we all need to lay off the carbs and alcohol if we want to look good in our dress. Kelsey’s kind of quiet, and I wonder if it’s because she’s not actually in the wedding, which is a bummer, but she’s the newest addition to our friend group besides Candice, so I get why neither of them are a bridesmaid.
“Are you okay?” I ask Kelsey when there’s a lull in the conversation.
She sends me a look that clearly says no, I’m not, before she starts talking. “Look, I don’t mean to swing the conversation back so it’s all about me, but seriously, guys. I’m done with men. They all suck. I finally had to block Paul on all social media and my phone. He wouldn’t stop trying to call me, text me, the works. All the apologies and the ‘oh, baby, I didn’t mean to make such an ass of myself’ only goes so far, you know?”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, reaching out to rest my hand over my friend’s. “That’s terrible.”
“He’s terrible,” Kelsey says irritably. “I’m glad you at least got to make a friend out of the deal.”
It’s true. Theo and I had a wonderful phone conversation yesterday afternoon, and he spilled every little detail about his relationship with the wretched Jessica. They were high school sweethearts. They’d been together for over ten years before he finally convinced her they should get married. And two weeks before the big day, he caught her naked in their bed, having sex with one of his groomsmen.
That groomsman happened to be Theo’s cousin. Ouch.
Needless to say, the wedding was cancelled, the breakup was messy, and Jessica is still with Theo’s cousin. As a matter of fact, they just announced their engagement.
Double ouch.
“Theo is so nice,” I tell Kelsey. “Maybe he’s the one you should’ve gone out with.”
“No way. He is so not my type.” Kelsey waves a hand, dismissing my suggestion.
“Yeah, same,” I say sadly. “He’s not quite over Jessica anyway, so it’s not like he’s even ready for a relationship yet. He was very upset by how Paul treated you, though. He wanted me to apologize to you on his behalf.”
Kelsey rests her hand against her chest. “Aw. That really is super sweet.”
We talk a little more about Friday night’s disastrous double date, only because it’s fun to rehash the details. Sarah is completely enthralled with our story, and by the time we’re reaching the end, she can’t stop laughing.
“Was this Paul guy really that big of a douche?” she asks for about the tenth time. “It feels like you’re making this stuff up.”
Kelsey and I both nod vigorously. “Yes,” we say in sync before we dissolve into laughter.
Yeah, it still doesn’t seem real to me either, but I lived it, so…
“Let’s swing back to your new guy,” Sarah says at one point, long after our meals have arrived and we’re halfway through with them. “I want more details.”
“Here’s something I didn’t mention.” I set my fork down. I ordered a salad and an iced tea. Trying to take the carbs down a couple of notches. “He’s moving to Las Vegas for his job, and he wants to meet up with me while we’re there.”
They both gape at me for a too-long moment.
“What? Do you think it’s too soon?” I ask.
“Oh, Eleanor.” Kelsey shakes her head. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to meet him in Vegas?”